Thursday, April 15, 2010

After you open the group, you have to make it about her.

Here's a concept that I have been using and teaching for years.

The basic idea is that after you open a group of people, you need to immediately get the conversational focus onto the girl you're interested in(Formerly the "Target" but that's creepy).

The reason it is so important to bring the conversational focus onto the girl you're interested in is two-fold. First it allows you to smoothly transition from your opener without stalling out or wondering what you have to do after the opener. Secondly it allows you to get talking to the girl you're most interested in, instead of getting your attention siphoned away to girls you're not attracted to, or worse guys in the group.

This doesn't mean you should ignore everyone else, but you NEED to make a concerted effort once you've started a conversation with a group to get the conversation onto any topic having to do with the girl you like.

This is one of the ways Mystery had it right, in that his "neg wars" with the girl he's attracted to, serve to put the conversational focus onto the right girl. Other less socially awkward ways of doing this include cold reads, role-plays, observations, questions followed by teases or stories and more.

The point is that opening really reflects two separate conversations we need to start, one to maintain social comfort with the group and one to spark interest in the specific girl we're attracted to.

That understanding should change the way you approach groups forever and make it much easier to have longer conversations with girls you like in big groups.

JS- The King of Content

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous3:13 AM

    this was money! group dynamics is starting to make sense

    lost so many girls not knowing this.