Friday, December 05, 2008

Episode 8: Come Get Your Medallion

Thank Christ it's over. I'm not even religious it's just felt like I needed to thank the J man that there were only 8 episodes.

Let's get this over with :)

We start out with Matt the septagenarian, coming back into the room as Simion talks about how he's sorry he'll have to beat his best friend in the house.

Then Mystery and the rest of the evil empire come in. Mystery is wearing some sort of jump suit that looks like an outfit a painter would wear. They get told that they will be timed on how fast they can kiss a girl. The winner gets an advantage for the final challenge.

The guys go in to Suede and immediately get into set. I'm literally cringing to death as I hear the caper opener and the baby in a corner opener. I'd like to puncture my ear drums with a screwdriver.

The guys both isolate and kiss girls in about 15 minutes which is great for them.

Simion wins the prize by a scant 20 seconds or so and gets the master bedroom. This is a huge advantage as you can't just close girls anywhere. Oh wait no I fucked two girls down by the river last weekend...

We get a nice product placement for Ashley's furniture as the guys get to go shopping for their bedrooms before they head to a big party at the house where they will have to isolate a "perfect 10" to their bedrooms. Nothing says I respect women like rating them from 1-10.

The party begins and the guys start talking to girls. Simion isolates two girls to his bedroom and tries a triple kiss which gets rejected like he drove the lane against Dwight Howard. The girls call him out and he brings them out of the room. Matt also brings tow girls back to his room and talks to them while standing as they sit on the bed. Mental note, it's not a good idea to bring two girls into your room together, as it makes it WAY harder to escalate.

Simion starts talking to a single girl while Matt talks to the friends of his asian girl. Simion brings her into his room aqnd then takes her back out. I'm bored out of my mind and wish I had weed. I look at the timer on Itunes every 30 seconds hoping it will end sooner. I'm gonna have to watch 8 episodes of It's Always Sunny after this to scorch my brain back to normal.

Simion makes out with his girl, Matt makes out with his and it's elimination time! This could not have happened fast enough.

At elimination the guys have to justify why they deserve to be the PUA. Simion makes a much better case as Matt just talks about how he hasn't yet broken through pulling the trigger. Mystery, Matador and Tara talk about how it's a priviledge to have met them. The insincerity is so thick I could cut it with a knife.

Finally Simion wins, which makes me happy as VA now has the creepiest instructor around. I fully look forward to the inevitable rape, murder and investigation.

Now if you excuse me I'm gonna scrub my eyes with bleach.

S

If you wanna learn how to NOT be like Simion check out The Game Acceleration Doctrine
Here

17 comments:

  1. haha classic Sinn post. Thanks a lot for your summary of the Pickup Artist, I didn't even need to watch one show. I feel for you.

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  2. HAHAHA, that show sucked big time. I stopped watching it after they kissed in the bedroom. I think those guys are still creepy ass fuck despite learning all that shit.

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  3. Anonymous11:07 AM

    LOL!

    sinn man.. that's totally wicked...

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  4. sangos11:14 AM

    LMAO! Its definitely going thru hell to watch, like a prince of dungeons game to get the princess! Btw this supposedly 'Master PU' game...why does it suck so much?(poor molested ladies on the show!)Something must be GROSSLY wrong/missing..wonder!@#$ Needs to set right to save the community's reputation.

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  5. Excellent Final Review. On the after party video clips...yes holy shit there is a viewing party. www.pickuplabs.com. Simeon talks about he went a little further with the girl in the bedroom than the producer liked.

    Case#101 for CSI against Simeon.

    Anyways, I'm glad the damn show is over! If I here the Dirty Dancing or Caper opener in the club tonight I'll kill someone on the spot. *Be Warned*

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  6. Your pain is over man. If they do make a 3rd season...get ready for more sleeveless Matador...

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  7. Anonymous3:21 PM

    Sinn, you are so right about this year's version. Absolutely HORRIBLE and the winner looks like he could be the illegimate son of Dracula. He has a queer third rate C-movie Vampire look to him. The child of Barnabus Collins and a straight Rosie O'Donnell...

    The should make a series out of your Lay Report book. Now that would be worth watching..."This week we see Captain Jack get to an HB to new highs tonight" and "Next week we see Doc Holiday OK her corral"....

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  8. Anonymous6:34 AM

    one could tell you didn't have that much fun writing the last review. but it's totally ok. the season and the winner were really weak and i'm suprised you wrote that many lines about it.

    now we have to wait 2 months until we see the big fall of mpua simeon

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  9. nimbus11:25 AM

    Unfortunately season three has already been shot

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  10. Anonymous7:10 PM

    Dude why did you flake on barry?

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  11. holy crap dude, have you seen this guy pretending to be you?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVrMAF2Zo8U

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  12. Welsh_Dragon10:10 AM

    I feel for you Sinn. Subjecting yourself to no weed is horrible.

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  13. TheSharkDog11:17 AM

    The review is funny, I saw the show and after doing a Google search I stumbled onto "the community". I'm going to give some of these techniques and tactics a crack.

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  14. Sharkdog12:07 PM

    I just finished reading through The Game Acceleration document. It is a really good summary of a lot of information I have seen online. It also makes some good points that I haven't seen before. I am new to "the community". After seeing the show on VH1, I was skeptical.

    It seems to me like hanging out in bars and clubs is more or less playing the numbers game. If you approach enough girls in that situation you are eventually going to stumble onto one that is drunk enough or bored enough to engage in some sort of interaction. Am I wrong? What am I missing? My interest in the game is due to the fact that I can't go out every night of the week and I have a busy schedule. So I would like a system for focusing and targeting to get maximum impact out of the limited time I do have.

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  15. Well, that was a very half-hearted final report, Sinnster.

    Where is my sleeves update? ;-)

    On the other hand, as you say, "Nothing says I respect women like rating them from 1-10." I'm glad to see you are still pointing out the absurdity of rating girls on a scale of 1 to 10.

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  16. Chumley12:23 PM

    Sharkdog - Please don't; for the sake of all of us.

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  17. I feel... kind of violated after watching this season of the pickup artist. The fact that they show that lame ass Caper bullshit opener and the baby in the corner lunacy getting results is embarrasing. Girls seriously respond to those? You would think that your openers have to at least make SENSE...

    Ugh. I'll continue to watch next season though... just because it's fun to make fun of this shit. Hell, you can probably make some good banter material off of the ridiculous shit you have seen on the show, granted your target or audience has also seen or heard of it.

    Hell, discussing Mystery's fashion choices alone is fun.

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