Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The last 5 and a half weeks Part 1-Melbourne

Now that I'm back in the US, as well as being jetlagged and behind about 9 gazillion emails, I finally get a chance to blog about my experience in Australia. I took off for Australia around noon on the 25th of November, I was planning on a shorter trip where I was going to learn marketing from Sweater's 8 day bootcamp on it in the Gold Coast. Plus I was going to relax and enjoy the Australian summer.

One of those 2 things happened. I landed after a very stress free flight in Sydney where I have to go through customs(bonus points for the Australian airport system, much faster) then hop a plane to Melbourne(which I still can't pronounce). Finally after getting through that flight, I grab a shuttle. This would be the first of many mistakes this trip. First the shuttle doesn't show up for more than half an hour. Then they make us walk all over the airport before we both end up at the same place at the same time. Finally we get in and I'm not sure where I'm going or how to get there. Finally we figure this out and I smoothly check into my hotel. Moxie arrives a few hours later and we head out to meet Tux and Hoobie for duck. The Duck was amazing. I have never before had such great duck. It was unreal, there was a lot of it and it came in 3 separate courses. We ended up going back to the Duck place the day we left Melbourne with some students. In fact I kinda want duck now...

After duck we head to the local club at the Casino where I realize that Australian clubs and American clubs are different in two very significant ways. First Australian clubs don't feature the soft core porn grinding we call "dancing" and second people are way less friendly and open to meeting people down under. I posted about this during my last Australia trip as well when CJ and I were horrified at the responses we got when we told people we were American. That hasn't changed, it's just now I realize that Australians happen to be the rudest, most racially intolerent group of people on the planet. But don't worry we'll get back to that point. Finally Moxie and I decided to head home but first have to get the keys off Tux which leads to a whole dog and pony show as he doesn't want to help us because he's having fun standing around the club not drinking...

The next night we go to Transport Bar and I fuck some girl in her car then on Metro's bed back at the apartment. He's a little freaked out by it, but I insist that we didn't go under the covers( which was true). It's really not my fault as we generously gave Metro the big bed and myself and Moxie took the small step child beds in the other room.

The night after that I fucked this chick down by the river by Transport bar. Then back at the apartment. This time Metro pulled his girl and the two set was completed. Moxie also fucked some chick in the disabled bathroom at the bar. This was a fun night, but Metro wouldn't let me try to switch girls with him, so I went to bed a little bitter and with a girl in my whatever's smaller than a twin sized bed.

The last day in Melbourne Moxie and I did some shopping and I got some really cool shirts. Unfortunately later on this trip I saw many other dudes wearing the same t-shirts thus reducing their coolness exponentially.

During the time we were in Melbourne, we had mentioned to Tux's brother that we were headed to Cairns next. He told us he was supposed to go up there, but couldn't because of work. He also mentioned that they were interested in some properties up there in a star resort. Moxie seeing the opportunity to get us a free stay a five star place, promptly volunteered to pretend to be a "stock controller" to inspect the stock. A few phone calls were made and a guy was waiting to pick us up from the airport in Cairns.

But that's a story for next time....



  1. Anonymous2:28 PM

    Another Festivus Miracle!!! Happy Festivus!!

  2. Anonymous2:30 PM

    Another Festivus Miracle!!! Happy Festivus!!

  3. "First Australian clubs don't feature the soft core porn grinding we call "dancing" and second people are way less friendly and open to meeting people down under." I second that statement.

    I'm looking forward to reading your entry about the seminar's I was surprised you didn't knock that kid out.

  4. Anonymous10:35 PM

    "CJ and I were horrified at the responses we got when we told people we were American"

    and why this is a surprise?:)))
    most of us/world hate America by various reasons(I only mention killing innocent ppl to steal their oil,killing their own ppl and blame it on "terrorists" and so on)

  5. Anonymous12:23 PM

    Definately agree with you about australians being the most racially intlorent and un friendly but that isn't true of all places over there. they tend to blow hot and cold. I spent 8 months there and wasn't to keen on it. Sorry to hear you had a bad time. Try the west coast and darwin next time they were loads nicer.

  6. Anonymous3:42 PM

    To the person who said: "most of us/world hate America by various reasons":

    So I guess that means you think Sinn was responsible for the decisions to invade Iraq? Jeez dude, what a douchebag you are, and you don't even have the courage to sign your name. What a fucking coward.

    Just a reminder to people who are as stupid as the dude who left that comment: not everyone in America voted for Bush. So fuck off.

    And to the general observation about Aussies not being as friendly as Americans... this seems to be true regarding the local populace in most countries when it comes to accepting all people as human beings. I've traveled about half the world, and in general American backpackers and hostelers are looked upon as the friendliest kind of people ... we tend not to care so much about class or caste... whereas much of the rest of the world does.

    During my time studying abroad in Europe, it was usually the Americans who were the life of the party. We seem to be way more interested in having a good time than we are in evaluating what social strata a person's family occupies.

    Sure, there are social retards from America that travel, but that's true of everywhere else too. Unfortunately not everyone who visits a foreign country realizes they are an ambassador from their country of origin.

  7. Anonymous10:47 PM

    "most of us/world hate America by various reasons"

    You're reading a blog about/by an American you tool, guess Sinn is the only decent guy in the USA?! People are people, some of my best friends are from the UK and live and love the United States. Not everyone is a degenerate moron like yourself.

  8. Anonymous11:32 PM

    "Jeez dude, what a douchebag you are, and you don't even have the courage to sign your name. What a fucking coward"

    ---and your name is..?:)))))

    "not everyone in America voted for Bush"
    ---and u think that bush is to blame?the ppl behind him,those who actually lead USA decided that;the president it s just a "puppet"who plays how the guys with money and influence sings.

    I'm not saying that ppl in your country are bad(they are the same like everywhere on this world) just your governmant;in the name of "democracy"they kill ppl,steal their resources,etc

    go to Serbia and in one of their city there is a building in the middle of the city hit by the bombs;everywhere else the city was build again but that building was left alone;why?bec to remaind everybody in that country the crimes of USA army.

    i'll stop here and hope that Sinn will publish this.

    ps.I have nothing against Sinn or ordinary citizens just like me from USA.(i worked 3 months in Atlanta 2 years ago summer student job program and the guys at work and their friends i've meet were great,treat me good).

  9. Well, it's true that Americans have a bad reputation all over the world. Half of them voted for GW Bush... TWICE !!!

    They are know as racists (they don't threat asians, mexicans, indians and black people the same way they do with white people), and they impose their beliefs on the rest of the world.

    I'm still friendly every time I see an american in my city (Brussels, Belgium) and I think most people are, by the way...

    Almost all american I met were really friendly and open. I guess I only met those who know that there is a world outside America, so they are pre-screened.

    There are americans I would love to meet, and Sinn is one of them.

    By the way, the world is glad that you elected Obama. It shows us that you may have understood what you did wrong since the beginning of the 21st century :) I'm looking forward to seeing how it(s going to turn out.

    Last thing, you cannot blame that dude for talking crap about americans when you talk crap about the rest of the world ;)

  10. Anonymous12:35 AM


    I am an Aussie and I have to agree with you, the majority of white Australians are racist.

    We live in a small isolated little corner of the world and find it hard to integrate, because we've never have had to.

    We have race wars between white Aussies and Lebanese Aussies in Sydney.

    If you were an Asian in Queensland 10yrs ago, you would have been hated.

    The country is growing up, it still suffers from low self-esteem, founded by convicts and all. But we are getting there.

    BTW Aussies that have traveled overseas are much more tolerant, there eyes have been opened to other cultures.

    It's a pity John Howard and George Bush were not well travel prior to taking office. The world might be in a better place.

    Anyways back the pick up. You rock and thanks for the value!

  11. I was going to write a long dissertation challenging the claims made by various posters on this thread, but, to be honest; I don’t think the quality of discourse warrants it. I will simply say that I am disappointed in Sinn, as he struck me as an open minded individual when I worked with him last year, so I’m shocked to see him make flippant and offensive remarks based on limited experience.

    If I formed my opinions of entire groups of people based on the few of that group I met, I would consider all Israelis to be obnoxious, the Irish to be delightful singers, Bedouins to be the friendliest people on the planet, Chinese people to be political zealots, African Americans to be abnormally violent, Kenyans to be wonderfully polite and Filipinos to be short - as these have all been some of the experiences I have had with said peoples. Obviously, forming those opinions would be small minded, whether the generalisations were positive or not and you would be correct to chastise me for doing so, much as I am correct to chastise some of the above posters for their ill considered comments.

    And while it shouldn’t matter, anyone who would flame me should know I am a dual American and Australian citizen who has lived and studied on four continents and traveled to over forty countries in the past eight years, so I am speaking with some experience when I say one shouldn’t generalise—especially negatively—about an entire nation based on a few bad experiences.

    Please, consider your remarks and opinions before you make them public – you never know how they will reflect upon you.