Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Brainstorming: Ways To Convey Direct Interest

Lately, I've been talking about this idea of expressing direct (Non qualification based) interest in a girl early in the interaction as a way of

A. Defining the pickup for the girl. A lot of the time when you approach a girl especially if you're using an indirect opener the girl is unsure of what the interaction is, by using direct interest early, the girl knows you're interested in her romantically/sexually.

B. Escalating the interaction.

So here's my admittedly incomplete list of ways to express this direct interest in a competent way (as opposed to telling a girl she's hot or has great tits).

1. Why I like you statements. These are compliments that are framed as being the main reason or a main reason for your interest in her.

2. Statements of intent. The grandfather of direct interest. There are some really interesting Old, old, old school (like 2001) posts by a guy named Neo-Rio on ASF about SOIs solid stuff. I've also talked about them extensively on the Seduction Roadmap. SOIs are exactly what they sound like you give the girl a statement of what you are going to try to do.

3. Making plans/Asking her out. This is where normal guys do it right. Asking a girl out early ( as long as you don't get her phone # and leave in 3 mins) is a good way to demonstrate that you want to see her again and you're interested in dating her.

4. Relationship ?s. This is a technique I created after watching Captain Jack. Relationship questions like "Are you the jealous type" serve to frame the interaction in a romantic context. You would never ask a girl if she was he jealous type of girl unless you were considering her for a relationship and thus interest is very subtly expressed.

5. Assuming/Talking about a relationship. When you assume a relationship (even in a jokey role-playing way) you are expressing interest.

So those are 5 ways I came up with sitting around last night.

If you have any others leave them in the comments and I'll re-visit this topic sometime soon.

JS- The King Of Content


  1. Anonymous3:59 PM


  2. Anonymous8:04 PM

    Hey John, I realized something the other day. I'm much more successful in less crowded, less noisy venues, or at least ones where there is more space and people are less densely packed.

    For example, I've gone to a professional networking happy hour for the past year in my local area (its great b/c it has like 100+ people all getting tipsy and more successful than your standard club trash). Last night after another one of their events I realized I do tons better in terms of getting numbers and physical contact when there is more space and freedom in movement.

    For example, sometimes they choose poor venues where you are literally jammed packed against people and its crazy loud. On those nights I realize I get a handful of flaky numbers to 0 with the same routines, same look, etc.

    However on nights when they choose more spacious venues I get 4+ numbers, most of which lead to day 2s. For example, last night was more spacious and I got 5 numbers with 2 hard day 2s so far and tons of kino from 2 different women. I've observed this effect over more than 10+ nights out at this type of event.

    I think the keys are: a) They can actually hear me, as opposed to only hearing parts of my conversation. At the same time I can hear everything they are saying. Yes, you're going to say speak louder but in some venues doesn't matter, you'd have to shout to be heard and thats just awkward/ try hard.

    b) Space allows movement, so you can move the girl or group with you. For example, my best closes last night (the ones I have day 2s already planned) in both cases I made the woman move with me to other sides of the venue (using the excuse that their were couches on that side and we should sit down). It was a lot easier to do as, we weren't fighting through a ton of people to move, and there was actually open space to move too. It does no good to try and move a girl if there is literally no real open space to move to in the venue and you;d have to elbow your way to get there.

    So open space in the venue has a definite impact on my game. Do you see any correlation to this with your game?

  3. Raiton5:26 AM

    Small compliments, not the main reason but a small reason: "It's cute how you do that (with your fingers

    I don't think you can use these two earlier than qualification:
    1. Why I like you statements(You need to wait till u get a good reason).
    4. Relationship ?s.(She really has to answer a question like "Are you the jealous type?". That's the same compliance that you need for qualification)

  4. Anonymous7:26 AM

    -are you single?

  5. Excellent! Sinn, you are one of the best minds in this community!

    Dr. Dupree

  6. How hard is to give a hint to a girl that you like her? 5 useless post on 1 good post = not a good ratio.

  7. Anonymous5:23 AM

    you missed sexual jokes...

  8. Blair7:01 PM

    I ask: "you have a boyfriend?"

    Doesn't matter what her answer is...she knows I'm interested.

  9. Ablaze3:57 PM

    1) Obviously checking her out. Letting your eyes linger a little longer than you normally would if you were talking to someone you weren't interested in.

    2) Sexual voice tonality. Don't view what you're saying to her as simply words coming out of your mouth. Play with different voice inflections and judge the way she's responding to them and calibrate. I like to imagine I'm singing a seductive song to the girl. I try to make my voice smooth and alluring. She'll think a guy that knows how to use his voice in a sensual way, must desire her, and want to do other sensual unspeakables to her.

    3) Sexual body language and posturing. Be a little to close for comfort as long as you're not too close. Lead with your cock, similar to a girl who sticks her boobs out. Don't make it blatantly obvious, but draw attention to your man. A lot of guys that are uncomfortable standing relaxed and leading with their cock, almost look like they're holding their hips back away from the girl. Might as well tuck your sack between your legs. If you stand comfortably and centered and let your cock be your leader and the girl continues to converse with you, she'll have to think about your cock, just like a girl that's really trying to draw attention to her tits. Thus you've made her choose to accept your frame of your attention demanding dick.

    I could probably go on, but that's my contribution.

  10. Sometimes hinting that you *might* be interested sexually can be more exciting than being overt about it. Let her wonder about it a bit.

    Anyway, one more example is something Captain Jack referred to on his site which seems to be a big thing with him, and that is sexual compliments. I found a couple of examples: (1) "That thing you just did with your hair, you're gonna have to stop that, because it's driving me crazy." (2) "So you're a [job name]... I'm curious, do you dress like this at work? Cause if so I might apply." (I love that one.)

    Ever since I heard him describe those, I loved them, because to me they are what I think of as traditional flirting. They're something a lot of non-community guys (and romantic leads in movies) do, but it seems like the seduction community moved away from even some of the *good* forms of old-fashioned flirting.

    Exactly what comprises a sexual compliment, I'm not so sure. I know that when done right, the woman should smile, rather than just feel she's being hit on. That's because they seem both respectful and flattering. Elements of them seem to be:

    - They're indirect. He never actually says what he means. He doesn't say that her hair is sexy, or that he's turned on. It's implied. And he never comes out and says that she's dressed in a sexy way. He just says he'd "like to apply" where she works.
    - There is usually a bit of humor in them, partly because of the use of implication. That causes the woman to smile. But it also shows that he's got sexual restraint, in that he can tastefully joke about his sexual interest. Horny perverts can't do that. One reason women don't like being "hit on" is the feeling of being pressured, and flirting tastefully with a sense of humor removes the pressure.

    One more thought: I'd think that in the right situation, overt compliments can be fine. Just saying she looks "damn sexy in that blouse" can work if the context is right, and if it seems like a good-natured, spontaneous reaction to how she looks. Who doesn't want to get compliments like that now and then?

    Thanks for your great content!