Monday, June 21, 2010

Coming Off Try Hard...

Hey Buddy,

I'm glad to have some time off from bootcamps after the last month :) Unfortunately the days where I could party all night for 3 consecutive days and then turn around and keep going out during the week are waning. Alcohol and I are in a fight and even after yoga and 10 hrs of sleep, I am beat....

One of the things Alex and myself noticed the past two weekends in Chicago was that intermediate students( Those that can open and get attraction/not creep out girls) tend to go through a phase where they try too hard pretty consistently for a few months. This can be especially damaging to guys that are better looking/well dressed and are going after girls that when they're hot friends are asked to describe what they look like, they respond they're really "Nice."

Part of this is that these guys believe the myth, that there is something you can do to attract EVERY single woman out there, regardless of the woman's physical preference, relationship status, mood, and even blood type.

Another reason is that as guys fix their style, fashion, body language, tonality, conversational material etc... They start to get more attraction faster, simply from approaching.

Thus when you're using too many tactics, techniques, active interest/disinterest it appears as though you are a cool guy who simply doesn't understand/get girls.

Learning to recognize and test to see when a girl is or is not attracted to you, is one of the most important skills guys can acquire.

Learning how to test to see if a woman is interested is fairly easy.

Learning to walk away when a woman gives you three consecutive signs she isn't interested in you( especially when you want her badly) is tough and requires you to take your ego out of the process and recognize the inherent truth; not every girl will like you. Even when you have "Mastered" pick up.

Not only do you come off try hard when you keep trying to attract a woman who is obviously not into you, you waste valuable time that could be spent meeting a woman who might like you for you :)

Hope that helps,

JS- The King Of Content

6 comments:

  1. This is an absolutely money post sinn. The thing I like about your blog is you are constantly pumping out fresh content for guys at all levels.

    I think you have mentioned this before, but this phase of an interaction, where the guy is trying to hard, is a great spot to Break Rapport.

    Once the girl is invested, trying to impress her is the opposite of what you should be doing. Its almost akin to dangling a string in front of a kitten as opposed to shoving the string down the kittens throat.

    I'd love to see you write some posts in the future about breaking rapport and qualification. You are the best in the biz i have ever seen at explaining these concepts.

    Also if you have a little more time I'd love to see more about the model that you laid out in the 2008 Under 21 Convention speech, which i think is one of the most complete models of seduction ever compiled.

    Keep it sleazy,

    Fade

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  2. Anonymous6:16 PM

    wow this was like my biggest sticking point and you just hit the nail on the head

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  3. Although I think it's true you should know when to walk away, I cannot agree on the fact that not every girl out there can like you.

    In my opinion, every guy has certain positive aspects of his life that can get a girl to like you. Okay, maybe not every guy (if your life is build around something completely boring and useless), but the normal, fun and social guys do. And let's face it: If you have the lifestyle that can get some girls to like you, it's only necessary to focus on the good parts of that lifestyle to get all the girls to like you.
    Of course, these positive aspects may be different from girl to girl, but if you highlight your good sides, she cannot hate you. Even if you're a complete dork but you have the balls to admit it and care to do something about it, she may not be attracted to you, but she can't hate you.

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  4. Anonymous10:15 PM

    Hey sinn im dont quite understand the post. can you say more? Like give specific examples of a guy being try hard. For example
    Joe schmo:
    Girl:

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  5. Anonymous5:43 AM

    love!! this post for sure

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  6. sub5tance10:52 AM

    Yeah I think this is a bit like 'beginners luck' - the first few months you learn the basics and they work! You make good progress. But then you get hooked on 'Game' and start getting too deep with all this other stuff and mixing it all up. Then losing sight of what the key basic things that work vs are just fluff so in the end your success goes down as you get more confused and disillusioned.

    The good news in my experience is that, at this point you start to realize that chasing women for sex doesn't bring true happiness anyway and that there are more fulfilling things in life to focus on - like just being more social, making more effort with people, maintaining friendships, cutting negative people out, giving (without expecting) and just being a cooler person.

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