Thursday, January 17, 2008

Tempo and vibing Pt 1

Tempo: The rhythm of the interaction. The speed of it. You can use different rhythms to create different results. For example if you are really teasing a girl, the faster the rhythm of the jokes and teases is faster like a machine gun Where as in a more controlled energy level the jokes come slower

You want to slow the interaction down as much as possible. Because as you slow the energy level down to the lowest possible level, you can then lead her. That's why most guys have dancing monkey syndrome, is that they don't immediately tone the energy level down. Or if they do, they don't know where they want to take her.

In fact the lower the energy level you can open at, the more ability to lead you have.

The tempo of your delivery is the most important part as you don't want to have a mismatching of your rhythm to the groups. The rhythms have to match. That's what Style was saying when he suggested joining a set at an equal or slightly higher energy level. This is good for getting into a set, but if you go higher you're now taking her away from where you want her to be. Higher energy is not helpful to the outcome we're looking for. In fact you want her to slow down so that you can start putting the right thoughts in her head via imagery, frames, and value elicitation.

Vibing is talking without expressing judgment on anything the other person says or does. Getting along. The word vibe is chosen for a specific reason though as it suggests a smooth agreeable rhythm.

I'll fill some more in later...


  1. Anonymous4:43 AM

    Very good!

    You just verbalized something I have been noticing in my sets for some time now.

    Could you expand more on "talking without judgement"? Does this mean you should not judge her positively either, aka qualifying her on what she is saying or doing because it puts a judgamental frame to the interaction??
    This would mean that qualification should be something more dependant on emotions and "why do i feel good around you?" etc, rather than expressing logic.
    It would be great if you could expand on this.

    You rock!


  2. PUA! at the Disco10:56 PM

    great blog post.

    ps. still waiting on that toecutter review, playa. ;)

  3. Some nice points man

    I prefer blogs to forums.

    UK with love!

  4. Anonymous5:38 PM

    Nice post.
    Have you read "Social Intelligence" by Goleman?
    He talked about cycles which has an interesting tie-in to your observations.

  5. Anonymous8:30 PM

    This is soooo 'RSD' and particularly JEffy