Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Hard Vs Soft Game

I am sick and I hate it!!!!

But luckily for all of you, as I was dazing in and out of consciousness, I decided to write a blog post which is actually a very important distinction for guys wanting to improve with women.

This post will talk about the difference between "Hard" and "Soft" game.

I'm 99% sure that myself or Brad P came up with these terms. I had been teaching it in seminar for awhile but Brad was definitely the first person I saw write about it.

So what is the difference between "Hard and "Soft" game ?

First we have to define these terms.

"Soft" game is what I used to call nice guy game. This involves being interesting, confident, fun, masculine etc... But you are overall being NICE to the girl. You might tease her a little, but you don't disqualify yourself or use Jealousy Plotlines, Take-Aways etc... Soft game should always be your default approach. Most women are nice and if you have your shit together and approach them in a normal way and are interesting, fun, confident, etc you will get attraction. Nice guy game is not the same thing as being boring, leaving awkward silences, being rude, or being overly cocky. It's still game it's just toned down.

" Hard" game is similar to soft game in the focus on being naturally attractive( For those who haven't seen the Natural Attraction DVD() Being Confident, Masculine, Fun and Interesting are the baseline qualities of being naturally attractive. You're not going to do anything to contradict that when you're running "hard" game. But you are going to add some things. "Hard" game is only supposed to be used on girls who are being bitchy or sarcastic. It doesn't really have much to do with the girls looks, rather with how much she's busting your balls or being mean to you. "Hard" game involves using disqualifiers, body language take-aways, regular old take-aways, The Asshole Attitude as I call it, Passing congruence tests, using jealousy plot-lines and of course that mythical relic of days long ago; pawning and merging sets. You definitely don't need to use any of the hard game tactics to get laid. But there are a variety of situations in NIGHTCLUBS and BARS where they come in useful. I don't think I've ever had to use "hard" game during the day time.

So why did I post this when it seems overly elaborate and detail based?

Because in order to truly understand how to have the best possible chance with ANY particular woman ( Not that you(or I) will ever get even close to 100% success) you need to understand what tools work in what situations.

A lot of the time on bootcamps, guys will use techniques that are "Hard" game with girls that are friendly and it blows them out. Then they wonder why that happened when so-so PUA told him that he MUST disqualify every girl within 30 seconds.

The most important factor is the GIRL'S reaction. That's going to tell you how to proceed. First and foremost you need to meet the girl where she is at RIGHT now. If she's being bitchy, you need to show her that you can stand up to her and won't let her be bitchy to you. This is where "Hard" game comes in.

But if she's being nice or sexual or just neutral, it's almost ALWAYS better to use "Soft" game and see what happens.

Hope that helps clarify some things for ya,

J$=The King Of Motha-Fucking Content.


  1. Anonymous1:42 PM

    Good post, I agree with you

  2. Anonymous4:07 PM

    How do you use hard game to stop sarcasm?

  3. I've been in the game for a long time and this has opened my eyes even more...

    super awesome post man...GOLD!

    this is like what customized model to use in order to seduce a particular girl....again coming down to typing women and how she wants to be seduced

  4. Earl Grey2:39 AM

    Basically you're saying the old MM is the best way to learn game. I couldn't agree more with that. Forget bullshit like "Natural Game" etc: Without a structured approach you're lost in this game.

  5. Mike R4:05 PM

    Haven yes it about how she act that give you the reasons to Adjust your game better your chances

  6. Anonymous11:41 PM

    This entire post can be summarized as "calibration"

  7. Anonymous6:45 AM

    Earl Grey. He isn't saying that old MM is the worst. He is only saying that you reserve the harsher type of gaming for tougher girls who give you attitude. Nothing more is implied

  8. Anonymous5:53 PM

    Why is it that you are always way better at clarifying this stuff than anyone else? Honestly this is something I had to learn the hard way but finally did and here you go making a post about it. I was being called an a hole a bunch because of this and losing a ton of girls when they were clearly into me up until I continued to run hard stuff on them. Thanks Jon!