Friday, November 05, 2010

Stop Focusing On What You're NOT...


As the year is winding to a close and we take on a new group of coaching students, I'm always interested in the way guys think as they're just getting started with improving this part of their lives.

This year the thing that really stood out to me, was how much these guys are focused on what they are not.

They're not tall enough, or they're too technical, or introverted.

Everyone has their weak areas, but if that's all you focus on, all you're going to find is excuses. Part of the process of becoming a more attractive person, involves figuring out what your strong areas are.

I may not be 6'4 like some guys or sexy, or really rich like others, but I am funny, and observant, and I understand women really well.

Furthermore, I never focus on what I'm lacking. I don't worry about it, as for the most part it's out of my control.

You can't control your skin color, or your height, or the particular blend of neuroses you have. But you can control whether or not you allow your so called "limitations" to affect your relationships with women.

JS-The King Of Content


  1. Anonymous5:09 PM

    good inner game shit right here

  2. It's a great point, so long as you're talking about things guys can't change. But being too introverted *may* be more a matter of habit than of nature, and habits can change. Guys who have social anxiety might not get out much, and might not enjoy going out due to anxiety, but they aren't necessarily "introverted". If you have fear of heights, you won't enjoy mountain climbing, but that's not because you were born with an inability to enjoy mountain climbing. Your fear inhibits your enjoyment. As the anxiety lessens, the enjoyment can grow.

    The site which you linked to at one time has helpful insights for "intoverted" guys.