Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My love letter to the game...

Last year I wrote a post about my observations since my bootcamp.

You can read it in the archive from last Oct.

This year I thought I'd write an open letter to the game(not the book).

Here goes,

I know it's been a long time since we talked, I've been busy with old flames,work and my other loves.Then I realized that it's been too long.

I remember when I found you, it was years and years ago when a lonely boy was asking jeeves on the internet. I remember the giddy feeling in my stomach as I read about supplication, and negs, and cocky and funny. I read for hours,and hours. Until my eyes hurt from the computer screen. I printed out pages and pages off the internet. Mailbags, rules, techniques, routines, spastic ramblings... I read every book I could get my hands on.

Do you remember when I first went out to play you? I got up, got dressed, went to the mall and walked next to about 50 girls, before I opened my mouth to speak to one. I still remember how nervous I was before hand and how suprised I was when the girls talked to me. I talked to 7 girls that day. And the next day, and the next for a year and a half.

You became my salvation, my reason for being. But you tested my faith for 6 months. I never gave up adn you rewarded me.

Then things started going really fast, I loved you so much, but didn't understand you yet. I learned more and more about you. I met guys who called themselves Mystery, or Style. I hung out with guys who I met on the internet where the only commonality we had was that we both liked you. How was I to know that my love was deeper? That more committed. More insane than others??? I couldn't. But it was that love that led me to the living room of Project Hollywood all those years ago... It was the love that led me to intern for the company, then instruct. I had no greater desire to help others back then... I just wanted to learn as much as I could about you. I wanted to show you that I understood you best, that you were going to be happiest with me.

When I started teaching I was ecstatic because finaly I could share you with others. I could show them the amazing things that you had taught me about people, myself, women, and the world. And slowly the love for you started to dim. I started to care more about helping others get their first kiss from you. I wanted to share you with everyone, like the prize girlfriend I saw you as. I became arrogant that I "had" you and didn't need to keep the relationship fresh.

I still yearned to know more about you though. I refused to hit a glass ceiling, I refused to listen to others when they told me that we knew everything there was to know about you. Instead I started to look for the sides of you that we didn't see. Even though I had taken you for granted, I still cared. I always cared.

Then I looked around and those I had been trying to help for years had turned on me. They sent me demands for routines,for word by word descriptions of what I said in my LRs,They wrote nasty attacks about me on the internet.They even demanded I update my blog more. And I had to learn that no matter what you do for people, there will always be those who want more. Or those who are jealous. Or hateful.And it was hard. people I had known and trusted for years betrayed me. But you never turned on me.

I came back to you at the begginning of this year. I even moved somewhere else to learn from and with CJ, El Topo, Shaft etc.. I rededicated myself to you after THEY tried to take away my love for you with their petty gripes and comments. I realized that you were pure and predictable. I remembered the joy, I remembered the excitement I used to have when I couldn't wait to open sets no matter where they were. I remembered how powerful I felt when I realized every girl in a club was attracted to me and I could take my pick. I remembered the sense of accomplishment that came from taking the hard sets. I remembered the challenge of all of it. And I realized I loved you more than I ever had before, and that no matter what the future may bring I will always love you.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

Sinn-cerely

11 comments:

  1. it takes balls to write such an honest, emotional insight about oneself! i have a lot of respect for you, your passion, your work, "your game" and everything you're offering for free (!) through the various channels of the net. thanks a lot mate!

    haven't taken a tmm bootcamp yet, but i definitely want you to be my instructor then. i think both of us are very similar.

    if a newbie can learn something from this single post, it's this:
    1. persistency
    nothing else makes you good in this game
    2. the right goals
    you set the goal of becoming the best. in my eyes there is no single individual, that is the best, but there are very few who achieved mastery in this game. you are one of them!

    much love,

    -tim

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  2. AWESOME POST, You have come a LONG ways from back in the days, and you were fucken good back then too, congratulations you earned every single ounce of game you have.


    You could edit this part out if you can, or just dont post it if you can, the hyna got a freelance job with this new clothing company from dallas, your hood. So if you see stuff from a company called "Hecho Latino" at the malls any time soon, me the hyna and my bro designed all of the line. O and Im single now, shit happened this past week end. So Im thinking of hitting up the clubs/bars for a while and save up for a boot camp.

    Nacho

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  3. Xander4:39 PM

    I think I'm going to cry.....

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  4. Bravo! Well done.

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  5. michael4:12 AM

    Everybody saw awwwwwww

    Haha nice post bro

    -m

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  6. JamesT9:31 AM

    Bravo! That post made my day, whenever I have a bad day I'm going to look back at this :)

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  7. CaptinAmerica11:03 AM

    AWESOME post. Reminds us of wear we are from, the direction we are going, and what we have to look forward too. I wish I had found this community sooner, and I hope to have the chance to meet more of you.

    CA

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  8. Anonymous11:34 AM

    Don't overestimate your writing ability.

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  9. I'm sorry for liking you so much I was one of those who was mad at you not updating your blog this last month.

    I've laid 4 different girls this week where three of them were fresh new and it's a LOT thanx to the inspiration you put up on this blog and the glimpses of your game that is shown and backwards engineered in my brain.

    I truly do hope you will do a program in Sweden, I truly do.

    This post was awesome

    Regards,
    - Xtreeme @ www.C-R.se

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  10. Your right about newbies trying to suck up as much info as possible during the first stages of developement.

    Im going to suck, later!

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