Sunday, November 25, 2007

Bad influences.

One of the things I've noticed big time lately, is the way that people around us can affect us in one of two ways.

You can let their behavior affect you, and I used to do that. I'd get all pissed off or I'd try to change them etc... But I realized that it was actually my problem. For example A friend of mine has this problem where he brags about how many girls he gets, how hot they are, etc, etc. And for awhile I would try to tell him that he could chill out, whatever. But it never worked.Finally I decided that it was his problem not mine, and I would laugh when he does it. It started to be like a funny game I would play n my head where I would ait for sentences that started like " Of the 500 girls I've been with..." And he and I started to get along better.

The other solution, is to appreciate the things that are good about people and you ignore the traits that annoy you. It's just like in a set, the more you focus on bad behavior, the more it gets magnified as CJ would say. That's why the most important rule of pick up is to ignore anything that doesn't help you. That's the key to being non-reactive.

The bad influence part, is where you have to be aware of what influences you are placing yourself under. I notice when I go out with certain people, I drink way more than I do with others. It's just part of going out with that person. I notice that if I have a group with really bad approach anxiety, mine gets noticably worse. See we are constantly checking the real world evidence around us to see what is permissable and "normal" behavior. That's why a lot of students snap back to earth immediately after bootcamps, because they realize that approaching a lot and talking game, doesn't fit in with their real life world or friends. So they quit, because it's easier to stop than it is to make things a little uncomfortable by rocking the boat a bit.

Once you know what things you are doing not because you want to, but rather because it's expected social behavior, you know what to work on. It can also be helpful to have an idea of the type of man you are aspiring to be. That way you can hold yourself to your own standards and regulations, as opposed to letting others tell you what is normal for you.

S

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:47 PM

    good post..agreed!

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  2. I honestly notice you becoming much more positive sinnster

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  3. Sinn-

    I find this post to be incredibly inspiring. I've found that a lot of my friends have gotten out of control or have things that annoy me, but your idea of "ignore everything that doesn't help you." is simple and inspiring.

    Best,
    Emergency

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  4. Anonymous2:14 PM

    good post

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  5. it is from constantly being under the influence of great bloggers such as yourself that keeps my head where it should be. i am about to break it off with one of my absolute best games ever, and i really dont want to and i wont get into everything here. but i know i am still working hard on inner game when these posts are necessary to center myself again.

    cheers,
    beek

    ReplyDelete