Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The 5 Immutable Laws Of Pick Up

Hooray hyperbolic titles!!!

Anyway here's a bit of what i teach on bootcamps. These are things that I think come as close as possible to being 100% true when picking girls up.

1. Ignore anything which cannot help you get the girl. This is the heart of being non-reactive, dealing with social pressure, whatever you wanna call it. You have to learn to ignore things, be they congruence tests or guys entering your sets. If it doesn't help you, it's useless and not worth giving attention to.

2. Always be cooler than the girl. Even if it's just .001% you always have to act as if you think she's not as cool as you. This can take the form of teasing, commanding, or simply not explaining yourself. Girls are just not evolutionarily programmed to be attracted to guys of equal or lesser status. It sucks but it's the way the world works.

3. ABC. Or always be closing as my buddy Entropy would say. As a man you must take all responsibility for escalation. From physically escalating to maintaining plausible deniability with her friends. Everything is up to you. Men are sexually aggressive, women are sexually receptive.

4. Saying something is better than saying nothing. When you see a girl you want to approach it is WAY easier to go in and mess it up than to sit around debating the different ways you could do it. Give yourself permission to fail. Because even trying puts you ahead of 99% of guys.

5. Thinking in field is the enemy. I always say " less thinking, more making moves." Which besides being a line I stole from a Dave Chapelle stand up special, applies to pick up perfectly. Thinking is the worst thing you can be doing when you're out. Actually maybe it's the second worst after talking about game. Instead let go of the outcome, recognize that you are on the plateau as George Leonard calls it in Mastery and put in the work. Do approaches, get blown out, learn. That's the only point of going out to game. Not to oggle and complain about how all the sets are too hard.

So those are my five rules of pick up. If you stick to those you should be off to a good start in your learning process.



  1. Agree 100%. Very important principles to have in mind.
    I like the second one a lot, it is a simple way of summarizing a kind of complex dynamic. If you are "cooler than the girl" it always creates this exciting dynamic for her where she never feels totally validated or that she "has" you completely and that "pull" of attraction never dies. Kind of like a negative compliance ratio in your favour that keeps the feelings of attraction alive, even after sex and further into the relationship.

  2. a girl who cares8:35 PM

    I gotta challenge you again, Sinn. I love your writing (just throwing that in). But the only way anyone ever really connects with anyone else is as an equal. There is no "cooler than." There is no "less than" either. We are all the same. The rest is all posing and it's not authentic.

  3. Anonymous9:39 PM

    This post and the email u sent today are my favorite of your posts. I am saving these in docuements when I Need them for the advice. I appreciate the value sinnster.

  4. a girl who cares > So you're saying you wouldn't be attracted by a girl with high status who always has something interesting to say (cooler than most people)?

    You would prefer someone equal?

    Women often disagree with pickup theories, but what they THINK they want is not what they are attracted to. What Sinn talks about has been proven in field thousands of times by a lot of people, it's just how it works.

  5. Great list, I esp. think #5 is awesome. I've never heard it said so concisely, but there it is. "Less thinking, more making moves."

    @Caring girl: I think both you and Sinn are right. During the first impression, it IS important to seem slightly cooler than thou...if a chick thinks you're of lower value, forget it, blow out. Once you're past that, there's a back and forth movement of value and coolness, which averages out to equality.

  6. Anonymous5:55 AM

    Sinn, awesome post.

    Also, I can NOT wait to see you in MeHow's infield insider! That'll be off the the chain...

  7. Any hints on how to constantly achieve #2 ? I often mess this one up, even though I know it well.

  8. a girl who cares10:59 AM

    Lance said: "I think you are both right."

    And then I chanced on this passage from A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, which made me smile and made it seem like Lance is right ;-)

    "Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. ... Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or a role, but as a field of conscious Presence.

    "Why does the ego play roles? Because of one unexamined assumption, one fundamental error, one unconscious thought. That thought is: I am not enough. Other unconscious thoughts follow: I need to play a role in order to get what I need to be fully myself; I need to get more so that I can be more. But you cannot be more than you are because underneath your physical and psychological form, you are one with Life itself, one with Being. In form, you are and will always be inferior to some, superior to others. In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone. True self-esteem and true humility arise out of that realization. In the eyes of the ego, self-esteem and humility are contradictory. In truth, they are one and the same."

  9. Anonymous4:36 AM

    Even be cooler in "comfort-zone"?

  10. Anonymous12:07 PM

    This is one of the best pickup posts in a while.