Quick post today as I'm jammed up with work for the Beyond Seduction Event which is now sold out!!
I just got back from a Kickboxing workout and I realized how much easier kickboxing is if you don't smoke cigarettes all weekend. This was after last week where I needed 5 minutes just to get up after sparring.
What I noticed last week was that as the training went on during the week (and I refrained from the cigarettes) the cardio was less tiring.
Which leads me to the following.
Most guys make the mistake of assuming that approach anxiety is like some sort of virus that can be completely eliminated with the right magic elixir of beliefs, experience, etc...
This is flat out wrong.
Instead you want to think about Approach Anxiety as if it's cardiovascular fitness.
The more of it you do (meaning approaching) the easier it is. The less of it you do, the harder it becomes.
Even for me, if I don't talk to anyone for a few days, I can feel the same difficulty in making the push to start again.
So stop looking for a magic pill, and instead take step everyday to improve your ability to deal with Approach Anxiety as opposed to looking to eliminate it entirely.
JS
Monday, October 18, 2010
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Theres a saying a i read which i believe sums up where guys sould be at with approach anxiety, it goes...
ReplyDeletewith approach anxiety you want to be able to look at it from across the road and wave, then go about your business.
it went something along those lines but it has always stuck wit me.
Theres a saying a i read which i believe sums up where guys sould be at with approach anxiety, it goes...
ReplyDeletewith approach anxiety you want to be able to look at it from across the road and wave, then go about your business.
it went something along those lines but it has always stuck wit me.
you missed he point sinn: doing cardio reduces approching anxiety!!!!! true story actually...but too lazy to explain^^
ReplyDeletenice post, i think also many principles of "business studies" can be transferred to pickup.
ReplyDeleteTRUTH.
ReplyDeleteThat's just my personal experience. I was able a while back to eliminate Approach Anxiety. I just didn't feel it. I just felt so excited, full of adrenaline. ... But the problem is that it comes back once you stop approaching, even if that is just two weeks. Is there a way for AA to never come back? As you said, I guess not.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, personally my experience is this.
ReplyDeleteFor some people Approach Anxiety really doesn't ever go away, it can be mitigated though. And possibly we can sort of condition ourselves to embrace it as a positive thing.
Like that feeling you have before you walk on the field or basketball court, there is somewhere some anxiety it's part of the sympathetic nervous system firing off, so the trick is to not see it as bad, but just as a physical reaction to a new situation.
And then you can relax and pass through it.
Approach anxiety, relax and feel it for what it is, and then just stand up and move through it. When you relax you kick in your parasympathetic nervous system which will mitigate against the stress that triggers approach anxiety.
Breathe deep, relax any tightness in your body, smile, and just walk into the fire. I don't think it's constructive to do a billion approaches, the simple act of confronting real fears as a matter of habit pays dividends.