Monday, December 31, 2007

Revealations from the Nepali Coast

Or how I found salvation with a lot of help from Tyler Durden and the

Nepali coast.

" Don't think of it as fun" he said. "Think of it like an East African

initiation ritual where they circumcize you with no anesthetic". The voice

on the other end of the cell phone was TD. He was at a sporting good store

picking up backpacks, tents and flashlights for our trip to Kaua'i.

I had come out to Hawaii to teach a bootcamp, and then get my mind right.

I had to know why with all the things I had accomplished, at the end of the

day I felt empty.

The bootcamp had ended and TD and I had hiked up a trail in Honolulu, it

was one of the better hikes I had ever been on. We talked about a lot of

things. Especially the future. I had been saying for a LONG time that I was

going to retire in May. Once the dust from the lawsuit settled and I wasn't

letting Savoy down. I planned to be out. I fantasized about becoming a

cabin boy on a cruise ship, or a firefighter. Anything to get away from the

responsibility of being a figurehead. Anything to escape the world of tactical

seduction.

Talking to TD I started to realize something, I was running away from

something that was a part of me. It wasn't an accident that I ended up where

I am. I worked for it I strove for it. It's something I wanted for a long time.

And like everyone who gets what they want, I wanted more. I had become a

victim of my own success. And no amount of notches on my bedpost were

going to change that. I realized that the only thing tangible and meaningful

is helping others.

It became crystal clear to me as I lay on the beach in Kaua'i. Freezing in

my tent. Sore from hiking over 11 miles that day over the most treacherous

terrain I had ever seen. The most amazing thing about the hike, was the fact

that EVERYTHING had gone our way. It was supposed to rain. It didn't, it

was supposed to get dark well before we hit the end of our journey, it didn't.

TD did the entire hike on no sleep as we had to get up @ 5:30 to catch a

flight from Honolulu. I got an hour and a half. I had joked before the walk

that god owed me, I guess we're even now.

The craziest thing about the entire walk was the way I felt as we were doing

it. TD suggested a little mind game of trying to hate someone as we were

walking across the open face part of the rock that had no vegetation on the

side. You have to see it to believe it but it was 12 inches of snaking path

overlooking a unimaginably far fall to the rocks and sea below. I couldn't

even think for a second about anything other than the moment. It was the

ultimate in state, and presence. I felt so connected and in love with life, the universe and everything in it. I realized we're all connected on some level, even if it's just the level of being humans.

We ran into a bunch of other hikers as the day ran on and they offered a

litany of different advice. The goat man and woman( Who were both in WAY

better shape than us despite being 60) told us they knew people who hiked

the entire trail in 2 hours... in the dark. The dude with an altitude meter and

speed poles told it would get easier (It didn't). The two stoners at the creek told us

we would make it for sure. We chose to believe the stoners. Through it all,

TD, myself and his GF stayed completely positive. We supported each other,

we looked out for each other. We called out where the slippery parts were

and what to hold onto. We never talked about the fact that our legs were

rubbed raw or the ever dwindling day light. And we ultimately made it the

entire 11 miles to the beach.

We passed a hippie compound as we finally hit the beach. They were a

caricature of hippiedom as they told us about the mystical healing powers of

the water. We joked the next two days that we should have asked them what

they knew about the now and gone all Eckhart Tolle on that ass.

Unfortunately it got dark before we had a chance to assemble our 30 dollar

tents and our dehydrated sponges of a brain took about an hour to figure it

out in the dark ( Actually TD figured it all out, I was pretty useless other

than driving in stakes). Then we sat on the beach under the make shift

campfire of the mini mag lite and talked about life. We talked about getting

past anger, adding value and teaching. It reminded me that even though I

didn't get in this to be a figurehead or a guru or whatever the fuck some

people seem to see me as, I am one now. And I'm not the same guy I was 3

years ago. That's why you won't be seeing anymore LRs here. I've posted

30-40 over the last year and I think it's time that I moved past the egoic

concern of convincing people I get laid, and onto the real value I can add.

Teaching. We finally got rained on and retreated to our tents. As I lay there

listening to the rain drop on the tent, exhausted, laying on the hard sand I

felt something that had been missing in my life for a long time. Pure joy.

The joy that comes from proving something to yourself and from

understanding that everything is going to be allright.

I had majorly weird dreams and woke up a couple times. Finally I woke the

others and we went to a waterfall to purify water. We pounded our Lebrada

lean shakes and got another 32 onces of water in before we hit the walk I had

been dreading since waking up.

We actually ended up scaling a mountain monkey style only to realize that

we were on top of an eff'in cliff with no way down. But we never freaked out.

We found the trail and kept on hiking. Our knees and ankles creaking, our

bodies pushed to the max, but we marched on. And on, and on. Even past

the point that I thought of quitting, past the point I thought I couldn't walk

another step. We all reached inside and found an inner core of strength we

never even knew we had. It made me realize that a ton of the limits we place

on ourselves are complete and utter bullshit. It's not a series of events that

defeats us, but our surrender to the events. You can always fight on. And

fight on we did. Even when TD's GF's knee went out on the last quarter

mile. We waited and finished together. And when we all walked down to the

car there was a feeling of elation that I don't have words to describe. I've

never been as happy as I was those two days hiking through the Incredibly

beautiful and varied terrain. It may very well have been the best two days of

my life.

And as I sit here writing this, swollen, in pain, riddled with bug bites the

size of quarters. I feel a strange new sense of calm and confidence. Like no

matter what life throws at me, I can handle it.

I went to Hawaii to get my shit together. It was there I decided to quit

drinking for 6 months, to stop smoking cigarettes and to kick the chronic

habit(after my trip to Amsterdam of course). It was there that I got to talk to

the one person in the world who understands the situation I'm in now, cause

he's been there. I've often said that Jlaix was the person I most related to in

the community, but after this trip I see that it's really TD. Talking to him

really helped me make sense of all the noise in my mind. We talked about

the pressure of stepping up and defining yourself through your teaching, we

talked about moving away from unhealthy mentors and the mental remnants

we both had to deal with. I cannot express enough gratitude to him for the

help, the conversation, the encouragement, the idea to hike and the hike

itself. I can't imagine respecting someone more than I respect him after this

trip. He's a changed man and the only guru I've ever met who actually

became an adult. I hope to have his level of inner strength and maturity

someday.

So what's next? As I sit in the Phoenix airport, I am rededicated to teaching

in a way I've never been before. I want to share the knowledge I've gathered

and enrich others lives in the way mine has been enriched. I don't want to

just teach guys to get laid anymore, I want to teach men and women to live

an empowered life on the edge. Constantly challenging yourself and your

perceptions of what you are capable of. I never thought I was the type of guy

to do this hike. My previous experience with camping, was staying at motel

6. I had never been tested or pushed to my physical limits to see how much I

could take before quitting and I've never been more in the now... That's

what I want to share now. The ability and motivation to push yourself to

your edge and keep pushing. Never surrender. Never give up, never lose

hope. That's what life is about. Over the next few months, I have some

HUGE plans. I scribbled pages and pages of notes for new ways to teach

and learn. New missions, new ephiphany provoking thoughts, and I will

share them all with all of you guys here and in person. 2008 is going to be

unreal....

I'll leave you guys with a quote from one of my favorite songs, one that I

never really understood until now;

Let no tears to fall from none of y'all
Just remember it all, the beauty as well as the flaws
L-O-V-E L-I-F-E
Here lies Sean, finally free
And as I look across the sea I smile at the sun
While it feeds the weeds the nutrition they need
The people still breathe, the city still bleeds
I'm going to love it to death and keep planting my seeds
I'm going to love it to death and keep an eye on the seeds
I'll be in love till im dead, I keep reaching the seeds
I'll give all I got left just to teach you to read
Love life to the death and keep planting my seeds
And when the soul begins to reap, I think she'll know me from the sleep
I keep caught in the corner of my bloodshot eyes
And if she has the nerve, to let me dump a couple last words
I'm gonna turn to the earth and scream (Love your life)

S

23 comments:

  1. I've just really gotten back into the world of seduction. Always kind of staying on the edge, reading material and learning but never really dedicating as much to it as I would like. So as I plan to really start applying everything to it starting with the new year I happen to stumble across this post, and I must say it’s really driven me to be that much more motivated. I am looking to get a lot more out of this than just girls. I really feel that it can bring that much more to my current situation and life in general. I'm glad to hear you stuck with it and really learned something about yourself on the trip. Sometimes you really just have to sit back and realize that everything you have done has been for a certain goal. To realize you have hit that goal and are in a position where you can help others attain there’s is amazing. I wish you the best of luck. Maybe some day I will run into you at a boot camp. Until then, take care.

    -Teknical

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11:35 AM

    I don't want to be an asshole, but please don't become TD man. I love the guy's blog, but your blog is concrete. So is the blog of the rest of the MM guys. I don't want to have to read woo-woo stuff like TD writes. He may be all into Zen, and presence, and being a natural, etc. But you are a guy who learned this, who wants to get rich and you are still into material shit. That is what helps normal guys. I for one don't want to disconnect from the materialism of the world, or disconnect from the first world and see poverty across the world. I enjoy my life and I design it so one day I have a Tribeca apartment, a Lamborghini and an amazing wardrobe. I don't want to listen to Zen shit from you man, be you, do you, be the way you have always been, don't become TD because you had one edgy experience.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this man. I read Tyler's crazy post on this trip w/ his gf and his friend John...I thought ur name was Jeremy so I didnt realize until now.

    Sinn are u gonna post up your new years resolutions?

    I am really glad you are finding what you really want in life. Good stuff man. :) LIFe is goooooood.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous12:43 PM

    Wow.

    I want you to know if I ever get out of school and scrape enough money together for a bootcamp, I'll want it to be with you. Because I could never feel comfortable trusting someone with teaching me if I couldn't respect him not only as a pickup artist, but even more importantly, as a human being. Big props for writing this, man.

    ReplyDelete
  5. PUA! at the Disco4:02 PM

    atmosphere. represent.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous11:52 PM

    TD is the man. There was a lot of hate for him after the book, but after reading very single post of his on ASF, RSD nation and the RSD blog. He has hands down been the wises in this game. Props Sinn for making the change.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous7:33 AM

    Ancient Chinese proverb:

    If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you wan happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a month, get married. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help others.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous11:08 AM

    Dude,

    This post is very Tom Cruise on Oprah's sofa. If you show to much vunerability to your fans (students) they will loose repect for you. IMO you are best to delete this post or there is the distinct possibilty you will be viewed as beta from this moment on.

    But I am very happy for you, it's just that the alpha male has to be very careful demonstrating to much vunerability.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous12:15 PM

    Tyler and you are my two favourite guys of the community. It is cool to see that you get along good.
    Props for the great blog post and I happy new year!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous2:16 PM

    this post touched me personally on a deep level.
    frankly, ive had a similiar epiphany moment very recently and it is so gratifying to read your blog and actually see someone put my feelings into words.
    thank you very much

    ReplyDelete
  11. that's alot of wank man

    maybe you don't feel complete cos you're not willing to settle down with that someone spesh

    ReplyDelete
  12. Xtreeme5:47 AM

    I don't know what to say. I'm kind of going to miss the old, assholish, sinn. You've always been somewhere a good middle between the zen TD and the boob-hunting Mystery. Like, you've been both the "cool I can get any woman to beg me for sex so respect me" kind of guy that attracts people of the community who seeks that kind of life (at the moment) while still being the kind of "be a man and grow some balls" kind of guy.

    I really don't know what to say. I believe the step you are taking is out of this community. Sure, some people argues that the community should be linked with the "find yourself" way but I disagree. People come to this community to learn how to attract women. It is only later after finding out that attracting women wasn't what they were seeking, when they will come to realize the whole "find yourself" thiny.

    Again, I'm not sure what my point is.

    Your experience sounds amazing and one day I wish I can experience the same. That is probably the only smart thing I've written now.

    Take care man. I'll still read your blog, even if you start writing about penguins and shit.

    ReplyDelete
  13. thats a major lessoned I learned while in bootcamp... weither I choose to be a marine after my 4 years is done or not, I know that my attitude towards life has forever changed in a direction that I couldn't see myself without anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous3:24 PM

    Hey, I never viewed your LRs as bragging rights. I saw them as examples of how to get it done. Even TD says that he teaches guys how to get from start to finish in terms of seduction. What guy doesn't want to know how to get past LMR? That said, 30 or 40 LRs in one year ought to provide examples enough for anyone....

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow. A lot of these comments are bullshit. I'm sorry to see that. Giving you advice on how to appear alpha.

    I'm glad that you've found your second wind when it comes to pickup. After reading your Love Letter to the Game, I got a peak into how unappreciative guys can be toward you. Its tough when people don't get it.

    What I read about TD in The Game made me write him off. When other community guys would quote his theories I would scoff. However, I'm going to take a second look at him and his ideas since you've vouched for him.

    While I can see what you mean about being a figurehead, just know that those of us who seriously appreciate your viewpoint would definitely notice the void if you left.

    Looking forward to shaking your hand one day.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous6:20 AM

    Awesome post - thanks for sharing this with us. Can't wait to see you in London again bro xx

    -sheriff

    ReplyDelete
  17. paracal11:00 AM

    point being you stepped through all of the stages an afc has to step through in order to become not only good with women but to master this thing. so, of course you feel empty again at that point. i can relate to you and your blog writings in so many ways, that i'm very glad to hear that you've found purpose again. actually this again is just a natural consequence of your development as a human being.

    all the guys in here hating with their comments just don't know better, because they haven't taken the steps yet.

    the way of every pua out there is in its general structure the way of rsd tyler. you've got to hit rock bottom, feel neediness, oneitis, loneliness etc, explore the community, start being a rafc, become a routine guy without success for quite a while, get little success, get few success, get more success, become very good with it and finally reach mastery. this is where mystery is at. if you plateau there, you will feel empty someday. so you then have to let go of the routines, take a few steps back and start all over again. one day you reach mastery again without needing routines and structure. you become a natural with conscious knowledge of social interactions. this is where tyler was in the last two years. and then attracting women starts to diminish and the goals become bigger. this is the path tyler is on right now. and sinn is definitely able to do the same his way. sinn, you pushed yourself so far until today, don't let it slip away. where you at right now is just a natural consequence of your journey.

    so everyone hating with his comment just doesn't know better, because he never stood on top of the mountain and had the view guys like sinn or td had.

    keep going, sinn! in my eyes you're on a great way.

    and of course i'm lucky to hear, that you keep being a part of the community for quite a while.

    best,

    paracal

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous2:01 PM

    Hey to you super alpha males giving Sinn lessons on how to appear more alpha...

    is he reading your blog or are you reading his?

    Cool stuff, sinn. Keep being honest and real.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Great post. TD has always been one of my favorites and one of my most respected guys in the community. When I first started reading his stuff it made me take a step back, it was awesome. After doing this for over a year I re-read some of that same stuff and I'm in awe of how quantum it really is. Neil wrote The Game which is how I found all of this, but outside of that TD, you, David D and Braddock have changed my life more than any four people on earth. Sure, I get laid more but more importantly I've become a better, more complete person. I live closer to the edge, I push myself in more areas of my life, I set higher life goals and as I achieve those goals I move the envelope and start over.

    Happy New Year and best to you and yours,

    Austin

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous5:18 PM

    Holy shit, I agree with Rebirth. Majority of these posts are way off base and ACTUALLY miss the point of the post. Alpha this alpha that, arsehole this arsehole that. I used to think in those terms as the community rams that down your throat. But when you realize that alpha and beta does not matter. When you realize that nice or arsehole does not matter. When you realize that compassion for women (and mens) sexuality and how to be with people is all that counts. When thats switches in your mind, sex is thrown at you, it comes quicker, easier, more of it, AND with hotter girls. You get synergy. You no longer treat sex as a commoditiy you need but something that is mutually enjoyable. Stop trying to dominate girls. Stop ramming value down their throats. While you are DHVing yourself like every other guy - to be the best - to be her "one guy". There are guys who leave that role to some one else. To the alpha. To the provider as she can only have one (hence, why every guy competes.) There is guys like me who sit on the sly and bang these girls with no effort and no investment.

    Good luck being "alpha."

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous9:25 AM

    It's fascinating to me the hostility of some these guys posting. It sort of drives home the point you make of the hassle/downside of being a figurehead in the community. When you are a "guru", some people will get an idealized version of you in their mind and when you vary from what they think they need you to be, they lash out. When in their minds you've fallen off the pedestal they are disappointed. Interesting phenomenon.

    I for one think you are brave to explore developing yourself in new ways. And I think you are courageous to write about it in your blog. It takes balls to break away from what some people need to see you as, and to develop in the ways that are truer to yourself. Well done, Sinn.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hey Sinn, I'm a former student at your Boston Bootcamp in 07. My name's Justin and your posting on the Nepali Coast made it sound absolutley amazing. I only have one day to hike though, you think it's possible for me to hike the 22-miles in less than 12 hours? I exercise about 5 days a week and don't smoke, what do you think?

    ReplyDelete