Monday, April 15, 2013

Sticking Point # 6: Failure to Escalate the initial interaction


 Hey there,

 Blah blah blah some excuse as to why i didn't post until now. Blah Blah.
 
 Today I want to write about one of the bigger problems guy have when it comes to talking to women they are attracted to.

 Failing to escalate the initial interaction.

 Let me ask you a question first:

 You're talking to a girl at a party for about 10 minutes and you're not sure if she's into you should you:

 A. Continue talking to her in the hopes that you'll be able to make her like you more later BEFORE you try to escalate.

 B. Tell her you like her and want to have sex with her.

 C. Try for the BIGGEST possible escalation you can think of in the situation.

 D. Try for the SMALLEST escalation you can think of in the situation.

 E. All of the Above.

Scroll down for the answer........................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................................................

  The answer is D and I'll explain why.

 A is a terrible answer but what most guys do when they've been talking to a girl and thanks to the Male sexual overperception bias think the girl is into them more than she really is. They realize through their delusion that they don't have enough "attraction" or whatever it is to be able to move the girl, touch her, make a move. But they think that if they keep talking it's only a matter of time. This is equivalent to not removing a bad bet on the craps table in order to make a good one.

 This is False. Most girls know if they're into you or not within the first 30-60 seconds. This has been proven thousands of times in scientific studies but you don't even need to read those. Instead just think of all the times a girl has not been instantly into you on a cold approach and you got her anyway.

Need some time to think about that?

It's cool I'll wait.

It's NEVER happened has it?

I know because it's happened to me like 3 times and I've approached exponentially more girls than you the reader has or ever will.

It's either there or it isn't and either way we're gonna do the same thing.

Answer B is more on the right track but telling a girl you want to have sex with her, when she is not into you is one of the dumbest things you can do as it is a one way ticket to creepsville do not pass go do not collect $200.

Answer C is even more right than answer B, but it could also lead to you blowing yourself out. If the biggest escalation is inviting a girl back to your place and you do it too early the girl will not agree and now you've basically taken the biggest best escalation you have off the table as the girl has flat out rejected you. You can now continue to lose self esteem as you wait it out hoping she'll like you later but chances are you blew it through OVERagrressiveness.

Which brings us to answer D. The right thing to do when you're not sure whether or not a woman likes you (or when she likes you but it's not enough to really escalate) is to make the smallest possible escalation you can make at the time.

Perhaps it's physically taking her hand.

Or Asking for her phone #

Or isolating her from her friends.

Whatever the smallest most baby stepped escalation is, is what you should be doing when you're nto sure what to do.

When in doubt opt for the smallest escalation possible at the time. This is the correct answer because while it is possible to use several small escalations to add up to a big one. It doesn't work in reverse. If you get rejected on a big escalation it does not mean you are going to be successful at a smaller one. In fact it often means you are going to continue to get rejected because of a concept I call negative compliance momentum. Which basically is a fancy way of saying, the more a woman rejects you, the more likely she will be to reject you in the future.

Hope that helps,

JS

  

 
  

0 comments:

Post a Comment