A lot of people seem to not get the type of indifference that I am talking about, so I will now attempt to explain it in as much brevity as possible, so I can get back to work.
You want to be indifferent to the outcome of every situation. Desireless to quote the Tao Of Steve. Because when you have an outcome in mind that you are trying to get, you become stilted and desperate seeming. Instead you want to go in and see what happens, while following a great game plan like those taught by TMM, Brad P, etc...
You need to be indifferent, like John Wooden said "you don't want anyone to be able to tell from the demeanor in the locker room if we won or lost."
So be process oriented rather than results oriented, while making real connections with people and not being indifferent as a tactic in an interaction.
Because indifference as a tactic, will not work, people will just think you are an asshole or shy or weird.
Instead let go of your outcome. Stop caring soo much. I had back to back new lays the last two nights and you can't tell from talking to me. I am always in the same positive, productive frame of mind. Whether I just got laid or blown out, my frame is impenetrable. Because I don't allow interacting with women to affect the rest of my life. That is when you become a creepy social robot and eventually becomes like filling a bucket with a hole in it.
Bottom line Don't get your validation in life from women. Get your validation from within(Inner Game if you will) and then pursue your relationship goals as a fun addition to your life.
S
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
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Wow, thanks for taking the time to that Sinn, beautifully written
ReplyDeleteSinn, will you be my guru?
ReplyDeleteamazing post sinn.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with this one sinn.
ReplyDelete~CJ~
I don't know i think your theory is off a little bit.
ReplyDeleteNot good.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. My personal interpretation is that you are actually using the concept of indifference to explain the subtle two sides of motivation: Need and Want.
ReplyDeleteFar from being indifferent, I think it's important to WANT an outcome. I DO however, think it's MORE important to NOT NEED an outcome. But WANT and NEED both drive people, particularly in this community.
I think that someone pursuing women out of NEED views his successes as merely satisfying (i.e. filling that bucket with a hole in it - a temporary fill that will soon run out) although he may tell himself otherwise, and views his failures as, well, quite possibly crippling. Depending on cold hard technique, this attitude can be compensated for to produce general success, but leads to that social robot situation you aptly describe.
However, someone who pursues women out of WANT, who genuinely does NOT NEED (notably this is often a by-product of genuine abundance), views his successes as such - a beautiful accompaniment to an already full life, the cherry on top as-it-were. His failures do not even warrant the coldly logical word. They are simply learning experiences.
For instance, in my head, I have a nice big treasure chest of all the good compliments given to me by beautiful women - you know, the ones you know they meant. It's nice to remember these things. I enjoy them. I have no such box for insults.
Enjoying your (logical) successes and holding your (logical) failures as nothing more than another opportunity to learn something, is the key (in my opinion) to truly solid inner game.
As an aside, indifference as a technique is simply how you BEGIN in terms of INDIRECT game - and it works as a clear expression of that lack of need. You're of course supposed to be building a mutual seduction, so don't hang on to it! As for DIRECT game, since you've already waltzed in with a truckload of want, you have to communicate that lack of need in other ways (i.e. qualifying right through to takeaways etc.)
Hope I've added something helpful here! :)
JustCallMeDan
I know what you mean Sinn. Letting go of your desire, just hanging out and having fun. No outcome dependence.
ReplyDeleteNever fails.
Some retard posted a comment above as me. I agree with this post and the idea of indifference. I used to have a signature and posted a few times about the flip side but called it "Reactionism" and deemed it the number one enemy of all PUAs.
ReplyDelete~ The REAL Captain Jack ~
Haha you can't beat dem fake PUA's...
ReplyDeleteWho remembers Style on the VA forum: ''I'm above BF destroyers, I jsut walk into the bastard's house and blow his brains out, then the girl has no bf! Or i suppose you guys can do it the hard way....''
Wonder if it's the same guy. :)
Amazing comment, Sinn. I will try to live by this.
ReplyDeleteBe indifferent to outcome, not people. Love it.
diam sinn, that was good!
ReplyDelete