Fergie, girl-woman thinking and the need of the USA to grow up.

While Fergie's songs are catchy and I sometimes find myself singing along, if I listen to the lyrics I vomit a little bit in my mouth.

I understand that Fergie is hot, and a lot of people myself included want to put it in her pooper. I get it. Really I don't need to hear 8,000 songs about it.

This type of bragging and boasting is the manifestation of a larger issue, that of not growing up. In modern society post- Industrial Revolution, we have become a nation of adolescents. We largely equate age with maturity and man or woman-hood. But it is not the same thing. You can be a 10 year old man or a 35 year old boy. Maturity does not necessarily come from age, it comes from the way you think and present yourself to the world.

There are no more initiation rituals or even the close bond of a parent or elder educating us in a trade to help us make the metamorphosis from boy(or girl) to man or woman complete. We never get an explanation of waht it means to be a man (or woman). We grow, but we don't grow up. We still engage in the boy behaviors of manipulation,acting spoiled, cheating, arrogance, etc...

The boy must die in order for the man to live. Most men are not men, they are adult aged boys. The reasons for this are many but they mostly relate to our lack of being taught how to be men and not having clear defined models of masculinity. God help you if you are growing up now, at least I had Michael Jordan. Instead of growing up idolizing the chief of our tribe or the most accomplished warrior or OUR FATHERS( which is actually where a lot of this immaturity comes from but that will have to wait until another post). Today's generation grows up idolizing petulant child athletes, and people like Fergie who embrace their immaturity as a point of pride.

We are not shown the way to maturity. We constantly seek the approval of our mothers, fathers, men and women. Instead of learning to be self sufficient and find comfort from within. We look externally to fill the hole within us. We try to fill it with clothes, drugs, women, and money. All the while seeking a solution, that is within yourself.

It's not your fault you were probably raised by someone who themselves was not a mature man. And as well intentioned as our Mothers may have been, you cannot substitute for the prescence of a man role model.

The way to manhood and maturity is a difficult process, we have substitutes in modern society such as fraternities, the military, and team sports, but none of these teach what it is like to be a real man.

My problem with fergie is that she is a pop star so she is passing her immaturity to our youth. Everyday there are literally MILLIONS of little girls singing along to my humps, or Fergilicious and thinking that this kind of immaturity is glamorous and should be celebrated. If that thought didn't make you shudder, perhaps you should consider your level of maturity.

i have been very immature almost all of my life, but lately I have been focused on becoming a mature person who identifies himself as a man. That's why you will not find me engaging in boy behaviors, boasting or manipulation of any kind anymore. I am going first. Though the process is difficult and means acknowledging a lot of painful holes within my psyche, I am determined to live the rest of my life as a mature man in control of himself and his path.

I encourage everyone else including Fergie to do the same.

S