Highs and lows are normal..

I had a really shitty day yesterday... I was hung over after failing to pull a bartender who had already told Shaft AKA DD aka I don't know to leave because she would take me home, then she got so drunk she fell down and I bailed seeing a cockblock or drunk driving death in my future if I stayed...

It took me 3 hours to get out of bed due to reading, and general malaise...

Then it took me another 3 hours to get to the gym including a trip to my burrito place, and some episodes of scrubs as I took care of months old email...

Then I debated between going out or staying in. I ALWAYS feel guilty when I don't go out, It's a unique part of my pathoogy that makes me better because i go out and practice, but it would be nice to have a compulsion for going out.

At around 9 I am tired, feeling anti-social and want to read comic books, so I decide against going out and stay in.

It was just what I needed as I woke up early (for me) and got a couple of things done today. Now I'm waiting for my car to get towed to a tire shop so i can get the blown out tire fixed...

I have to remind myself that it's not normal to be ecstatic every day and that there will be some days I'm depressed. it's how I cope with those days that ultimately lets me know if I've actually changed or if I'm juyst good at pretending.

Yesterday and today make me feel like I have actually changed and that's exciting.

S