Mark Entropy wrote an interesting post about what it's like to be a player and how for MOST guys (Yes you reading this) having a great girlfriend is really the most realistic option.
I can't find the link, but it was on TSBmag.com the other day.
Now while I personally don't like having a girlfriend, I do agree with Mark's assertion. Most guy's lifestyles are not suitable for going out 4-7 nights a week, dating 3-4 women at a time, or juggling multiple relationships.
That doesn't even begin to mention the emotional tolls. Even someone as emotionally detached as myself is not immune to falling for a certain girl and then getting crushed in the process(See Kristen, NY and my Bday this year).
This problem essentially boils down to one main point; guys can't decide what they want.
One minute they think they want a girlfriend, the next they really want that hot girl by the bar. Part of this is evolutionary, but a larger part comes from a lack of self awareness.
Unfortunately you can't have your cake and eat it too.
You can't have the benefits of an emotionally fulfilling, loving, relationship that grows and leads to all the fun mushy feelings that regular people (like you reading this) seem to all eventually want, while screwing a ton of other girls.
Unfortunately you have to make a choice, and that choice will determine what rewards your life with women will bring you.
Or you can end up like Tiger Woods, Jesse James, or Tony Parker and deal with all the drama that comes with infidelity and seeing your carefully constructed world of lies come crashing down.
Your choice.
JS-The King Of Content
Friday, December 10, 2010
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ReplyDeletetsbmag.com/2010/12/07/the-truth-about-being-a-player/
Ant.
I'm really not sure why you're saying this Sinn. You once said that the kind of relationships you have are that you're with a girl 100% when you're around her but you date other people.
ReplyDeleteI took that idea and ran with it and I've told women that's what I do.
Unlike most people who date multiple women that are players I date multiple women so I can have a fullfilling relationship with each one and I'll break up with a girl if she isn't being emotional about me or is acting detatched.
I have multiple relationships and each girl knows I'm seeing other women but I don't bring the other women up or cause jealousy in any way. I also give as much attention to each girl as a guy in a relationship, which is hard and really requires effort. The short of it is that right now I have 7 girlfriends 4 of which have agreed to be exclusive on their end, meaning they really don't sleep with other people. At one point I was dating 16 women, but I couldn't be a decent and fullfilling person to all those women so I had to cut it down.
My point is that I have 7 'emotionally fulfilling, loving, relationship that have grown and lead to all the fun mushy feelings'. Which directly contradicts your point.
All it takes is just telling women that you are an unusual person and you can see multiple people while giving her the amazing relationship she wants and the fact you see other women makes no difference. Women just want an amazing relationship, they care about guys being exclusive because that changes how the guy behaves around them.
I will say though that I haven't told the women I'm seeing that there are 6 others, I'm pretty sure they think it's only 2 others or another number, the actual number I'm sure they'd rather not know.