Lessons Learned From Students Part 1 of 5- The Admiral

Hey guys,

Lately I’ve been pouring over a ton of data from the guys in 12M2M and my other private coaching students and a few things have really jumped out at me. In fact I would say some of the BEST realizations about Game and Dating have come from students of mine.

This got me thinking, since I’ve trained some of the best guys out there from Ozzie over at RSD, to Future at Love Systems, I wanted to share what I’ve learned from various guys I taught over the years.

The first guy I want to talk about is actually a member of my private small group coaching program. This was the group of guys I have been training since we put up a small notice for private training in small groups a few months ago.

This guy we’ll call The Admiral. The Admiral is a little bit on the older side, he was 41 when I started training him and the other two guys in this small group. He’d also just come out of a divorce, about a year before joining up with me. This is actually not that uncommon as about 33% of all students are fresh out of long term relationships.

The reason that he wanted to get better with women was not to become some sort of crazy player, instead he wanted to find a girl he could be in a long term relationship with.

There was only one problem, he wanted to date younger women, but was terrified to approach them. This problem was pretty persistent. In fact we had 6 straight 45 minute long phone consultations where the Admiral and I discussed the reasons behind these beliefs and various tactics and techniques he could try.

Ultimately from The Admiral, I learned a couple of things.

The first thing I learned was the importance of multiple types of reframes. In NLP they talk about this strategy in terms of opening up potential maps. In the Admiral the first 5 maps we opened up weren’t effective.

We started out with a simple positive prior intention reframe, where we tried to reframe his uneasiness with younger women as being related to wanting soo badly to be in a relationship again. That didn’t work.

Neither did Counter Examples of which I had him keep a pad and paper for recording anytime he saw an older man with a younger woman.

In fact we went halfway through my NLP reframing manuals…

Ultimately I learned that to really get to the bottom of someone’s internal issues you have to understand the ways they internally motivate themselves. There’s no point in telling a guy like The Admiral to quit being a pussy, or trying to reframe a guy with social anxiety.

Ultimately we found a solution for The Admiral’s issue by examining his idea of his own identity ( A creepy older guy hitting on younger girls because he was lonely) Because his early attempts at trying to talk to younger women were weird he had accepted that it was him and not simply his behaviors. We had a major breakthrough when he told me he was NOT the kind of person that judges people on their behaviors alone. Which didn’t really gell with the way he was judging himself with women.

We also had him start a daily wake-up routine where he would mentally practice approaching a hot younger woman. This sort of psycho-cybernetics practice can be a major boost for guys if they actually do it daily, as I made sure the Admiral was doing.

I made sure he had actually made progress this last bootcamp. During the Day Game portion I made him approach girls that looked to be 18-20 years. After 4-5 approaches he was hooking these girls on moving approaches easily.

He ended up with 3 phone numbers that day from girls between 20-24.

The Admiral kept the momentum up and is actually now in a committed relationship with a 26 year old woman he met at his gym.

Ultimately, I learned that you NEVER know when a lightbulb is going to go off in a student’s head and they’ll be able to make open new maps and change their behaviors. Plus I learned a ton about different types of reframes, affirmations and mental rehearsal.

S