The Pick Up Artist Season 2 Episode 1 Running Diary

Hey guys,

I wrote this last night while I watched the first episode of VH1's second season of " The Pick Up Artist." This season I'll be posting my running diary every Monday. There will be special guest appearences from the various people I watch the show with.

The show starts with an Annoying montage of the "lovable losers" walking up inter spliced with scenes of hot girls partying in the mansion pool. I'm as conflicted about this scene as I am about the show in general.

Why am I conflicted you ask?

Well contrary to popular belief, I actually like Mystery and am happy for his success. I saw how badly he wanted to be famous and I'm glad that he's finally there, given his immense talents. That said Matador's a huge tool. As well as possibly the most insane, violent, insecure person I've ever met. So it actually hurts my world view and respect for people in general to see him succeed. Not me at my most enlightened but what-evs. So I'm watching half hoping for it to go well for them and half hoping for a disaster.

One of the guys just pulled out a black book, obviously the writers for this show have not escaped the 70s.


So who are the guys?

Rian-28 year old virgin, seems like the most emotionally frail of all these guys. He needs a kick in the ass.

Carl- This guy got cheated on. I think he's officially my favorite given my world famous dislike of cheating and cheaters.


Matt- This guy is just kind of a dork. He's not anywhere near hopeless and will probably do decentlty once he fixes his fashion and his eagerness.

Greg- This guy is on a 9 year dry spell. I had a 2 year dry spell between losing my virginity and actually getting into the game, so I can sympathize. The hair and glasses need to go though.

Bryan- I'm glad they have 2 Asian guys on here as that's fairly representative of the breakdown in bootcamps. This guy spells words out to help him not stutter. I think the spelling is weirder and worse than the stutter.

Kevin- The other Asian guy is actually fairly good looking. I'm pretty sure he works with The Asian Playboy.

Alex- This guy definitely has the least to work with. He's morbidly obese, super effeminate and wears a large gold chain. I'll be very surprised if Mystery doesn't think it's great peacocking.


It's hysterical how Mystery still uses the exact same phrases and inflections. Here he calls and ends the call with his signature "fair?" The more things change, the more they stay the same.

One guy talks about how he Mystery was on his list of people to meet. This is horrifying to me. Until I remember I was like that too. It still sounds lame though. It's actually representative of a scarcity mentality. If out of all the people on Earth you want to meet someone who can help you get laid more, your priorities are far out of whack and you probably come off desperate to most women.


The gang comes out to meet Mystery and his crew and wouldn't ya know it, Mystery almost looks normal.Except for the googles hat. I used to rock the goggles hat when I didn't know any better, but I always wondered why goggles? Besides the fact that they're shiny and shiny things distract Mystery :)


Onto Matador, in addition to looking like Barry Bonds circa 2003, he's rocking the fur vest. In Arizona. With no sleeves. I keep waiting for him to ask if anyone wants tickets to the gun show. He's also rocking a longer wig this year and a 5 o clock shadow. All of this does nothing to stop him from him from being the most disgusting human being I've ever met.

Tara's a hot chick I don't respect because she slept with Mystery. Or so the rumor I've heard goes. I have absolutely no respect for any girl who sleeps with Erik, and have actually canceled dates with girls because of this. Tara is also a REMARKABLY bad actress. She's so unconvincing they have to cut away from her as she's talking about how she believes in what Mystery teaches.


Mystery takes this way too seriously with the teaching your kid stuff. It doesn't sound profound, it just sounds creepy. Honestly how fucked up is your kid going to be if you start talking to him about DHVS and Negs. I wrote about what I would teach my son a few years ago and you can be damn sure it won't have a thing to do with MM.

Shockingly Mystery's using almost the exact same scripts he used last year. I would have NEVER guessed Mystery would repeat himself in the same exact way with the same exact inflection. It's funny because for the first 6 weeks you hang out with Erik, he's awesome. then about 6 weeks in he starts repeating himself. Over and over again. It's like his personality only covers 6 weeks. I think that's why he has trouble holding on to girls long term.


The slaughter is about to begin as the guys go into the club. Obviously the guys are supposed to look really bad so that Mystery and Matador can swoop in and show them how to do it. The best moments come when Kevin asks one of the girls to dig a little deeper, which can be misunderstood on MANY levels. Matt has the required Kosmo-esque freak out. Which means he's now the favorite.

Mystery's always trying to use new words that he thinks sound cool. After he saw one of those Pirates of The Caribbean movies he was using Savvy all the time. It was kinda like in Mean Girls where the one chick was trying to make "fetch" the cool new slang. Or like in High School when my friend Gabe tried to convince us to use slippery instead of tight. Mystery's now trying to bring back the word cat apparently. I think unless you're black you can't make that sound cool. Though Michal Jordan's urban nickname was " The Black Cat". Haha got my random Jordan reference in!


Matador is making fun of the gold chain. Apparently on planet "I'm a loser with father issues" a fur vest is WAY cooler than a big gold chain

Shockingly a group with a bunch of virgins and guys who have never kissed a girl get destroyed in field.

Now it's time for Mystery and Matador to go in. This year they don't peacock. They both do well despite being C list celebrities. Seriously VH1? I know they didn't peacock but they still get recognized as they walk in. You can see it on the show. they're greeted by a mixed group before they say anything as The Pick Up Artist guys... This proves nothing. O.J Simpson still gets laid by hot girls and he allegedly killed his last wife. Fame overrides all game. They should have had a few of VA's approach coaches go in, so that the guys could actually see real cold approaches. I feel like VH1 really dropped the ball here....

After the formalities of the guys being amazed by celebrities making out with girls, it's time for makeovers.

Mystery leads off with a lecture about avatar. Avatar is a dorky word. No one cool says it, why not just talk about your look. Hell even describing it as a character is better than avatar.


Watching the clothes these guys pick out, really hammers home the point that most guys really don't have much fashion sense in general. I mean it's not that hard to tell what looks good and what looks like you're Sonny Crockett.

We get the first almost breakdown of the show by Rian, and Tara does a half assed job of reassuring him. She halfheartedly tells him that EVERYONE has insecurities. Thank you for your insight Tara. I totally see why they got rid of the awesome Jdog for you.


Good idea to have the guy get his teeth fixed. Teeth are an oft overlooked part of your looks. It's a good idea to invest in some cheap whitening strips.


Wow one guy had never had a professional haircut. How does that even happen? I mean at what point do you decide it's not ok for your mom to cut your hair anymore. For me it was like 6.


We have the total rip off of the 40 year old virgin scene when Matt gets waxed. the only thin missing was him screaming at the waxer...

Alex is really effeminate, I actually think he might be gay, but not ready to come out of the closet. My brother went through a similar phase, before kicking the closet door down. I wonder what his home life is like? My guess is he has a really overbearing smothering mother.

Matador is like Mac on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", he never wears sleeves. All that's missing is the tribal tattoo. BTW if you don't watch " It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" you're missing out on the funniest show on TV by far. I recommend going on Hulu now and checking it out. I watched all 3 seasons in like 3 or 4 days. It's hysterical. My favorite episodes are " Mac bangs Dennis' Mom" and " Dennis and Dee go on welfare". You'll thank me for that recommendation later.

Most of the guys look WAY better after their makeovers, most notably Greg. However the styles they put all the guys in are pretty generic. None of them will be the best dressed guy in a bar or club. Especially the guys in the vests. I rocked vests like 2 years ago. It's over let them go... Alex has way too many layers on for his weight. The bigger you are the less you want to pad that with outer shells like the hoody, button down combo he's rocking. Bryan with the fro still looks unkempt and the doo rag makes you a doo-che bag.

Mystery drops the bomb that someone will be going home and it's Alex the morbidly obese effeminate guy. Probably the right call, since he did get opened and not talk to the girl. If you're not gonna take a freebie, you need to leave.

Til next time.

S


If you just stumbled onto this blog after watching the show, and you want to learn more about getting better with women, check out my Game Acceleration Doctrine Here