Welcome back to the always educational and entertaining re-examining pick-up dogma series, in today's article I want to talk about being cocky and funny.
Unlike most pick up dogma problems, this one has a clear patient x, and his name is David Deangelo(or Eben Pagen or something). David D started talking about being "cocky and funny" to Cliff of the old Cliffs List back in the early 2000s under the name sisonpyh (or hypnosis backwards) after he had been working with Ross Jeffries and they had a falling out (rumors abounded because RJ touched his girlfriend at the time,but who really knows?) sisonpyh appeared and "cocky and funny" was born.
Now to be clear I'm not evaluating the entire "Double Your Dating" methodology (which consista of getting email addresses like a retard) instead I'm focusing strictly on the idea of being "cocky and funny" which is a GREAT idea for attraction.
In fact it's one of the better frames for attraction period.
But there are some problems which I'll outline in a meandering Peter King style list with mismatched numbers and letters.
1. The Application being taught is terrible. C&F is taught as not answering questions, or giving a woman a straight answer, making fun of women instead of teasing them and a host of other terrible applications. C&F is a frame meaning that it governs behavior in an interaction. OVERALL you want to be cocky and funny in the attraction phase by joking about being awesome and making the woman laugh by being funny.
2. Not everyone can be funny. Sorry I had to say it but I keep it 100. Some people are funny, most people aren't. But luckily the funny part can be changed to playful and everyone can be playful. Playful is about being silly, and childish. But most importantly it's about not taking yourself, the woman or the interaction too seriously, you do that while being 'cocky' and you're doing pretty good.
3. Guys overdo it. C&F is good and it can get a great reaction especially early on, which can be a problem. Guys see that 1 c&f line worked well so they figure 50 must work incredibly. WRONG. Think of c&f as a seasoning like salt. Everyone loves salt, but no one would like it if you dumped a can of it on their food. 1 or 2 C&F comments in the first 20 minutes are MORE than enough.
4. Looking evasive. If a girl asks you a question once and you avoid answering it she'll laugh, but she'll also ask again and at some point you start to look evasive and shady because you're not telling her anything about yourself. It also violates the law of reciprocity.
5. David D is a dork. Unfortunately David D was a dork who didn't really get hot chicks (see my post on his wedding, do a search I'm too lazy to link) so he made up a bunch of overly harsh teases that would NEVER work in the real world my favorite being " That's a nice dress, you buy that new?" These are insults. Insulting women NEVER works write that down.
Anyway in conclusion Cocky and Funny is a great frame for attraction but you can't generate and keep attraction strictly by being cocky and funny, nor is it a complete system for attracting or seducing women.
Boom tho.
JS- The King Of Content
hey man would be kind to take a stab to break down some of the RSD new infield videos
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. Side point: nobody is born funny. It's a skill that is cultivated through socializing primarily. Also, you can learn to become funnier if one was so inclined. Sorry, but the lack of real education about psychology in the pick up community has real world consequences for guys who idolize gurus.
ReplyDeleteVery true.
DeleteOn 4. Looking evasive: How much Frame Control is necessary? How often/When should I give her answers to her questions?
ReplyDeleteYou should write something for real beginners like me about qualification and frame control. I've heard your SIC on these topics but people like me need to understand the basics (example conversations are always good).
There should be a Sinn book (a cheap kindle ebook) on the overall system because some things on your blog contradict.
Example: http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2007/01/product-review-double-your-dating.html
You praised lots of things that you don't praise anymore...
can you talk about the cocky funny frame "I'm awesome" give some examples. or release a product about it and I will buy for sure!
ReplyDeletethis is really good stuff because i'm awesome.
I think everyone can definitely learn the funny. When I started years ago, I wrote down every C&F line, every backhanded compliment, and every funny sang I could find! THEN I tried them all out! Most of them suck (especially negs, David D lines, and lines that come off try-hard) BUT there are a LOT of great one liners that I use all the time now out of habit. Lines like "you're taking this way to seriously" "this is so why we can't have nice things" "you do that again and I'll tickle you until you pee your pants!" (and of course tickle them next tie) etc. Bottom line: Hard as hell to learn how to improv funny, easy as hell to learn a bunch of one-liners that are funny and widely applicable. Finally, funny movie quotes are the best, because even if she hasn't heard it, you can tease her about not seeing the movie. Furthermore, if you throw out a quote she really likes, you can just keep quoting that same movie or actor throughout the night. I can't even count the number of times a girl laughed about a will ferrel quote and I just keep it rolling all the way up to quotes that reference sex "Magical rainbow-do me on it" etc
ReplyDeleteP.S. Jon- Might consider making categories of posts (in addition to the timeline list on the right of the page) so that readers can easily view all the posts from "Examining Pickup Dogma" I know it would take a lot of time to sort out but would be very helpful none the less.
C&F needs to me done more the way Gambler does teaches with Stealth Attraction. GREAT stuff but advanced for a beginning student. The first thing a student needs is a roadmap or structure from which to build and escalate from (Which Jon has the best of without a doubt btw) THEN you just pickup new one liners her and there from Gambler, Sinn, movie quotes, and even gimmicks from pickup material. You slowly start to decide upon ones that work and use those and then of the ones that work, you start to realize which ones fit more with your style and use those even more!
ReplyDeleteInteresting.
ReplyDeleteA lot of DeAngelo's ideas seem good on paper, but are easy to falsify if you actually try them.
The e-mail thing by the way works as an "upsell" technique - you can take an e-mail - or better a facebook, because nobody checks their e-mails these days - and then have a better chance of getting a phone based on compliance momentum - it is a valid principle and will work in a lot of situations.
But getting JUST an e-mail is HORRIBLE, SUICIDAL idea and you'll learn it very fast if you actually try it.
But almost nobody really uses any advice - especially dating advice which is scary to use - so you can give any bullshit advice you want.
I think a lot of people will agree that DeAngelo is the best for learning some psych theories, advice on structure of learning and great reading recommendations, but for some reason he chose NOT to meet a lot of new women and test his great theories in real world. I don't know why it is, he looks like a hard worker, but seems like he liked reading and theorizing more then going out. So you should seek practical advice on meeting women elsewhere.
PS: Some stuff he thought up was then tested by other guys and actually worked - like "start at your place" idea, that was adopted by a lot of guys.
But you will get a much higher percentage of valid advice from guys who at least really go out ;)
Good stuff Sinn... A particular buddy came to mind when I read this. He really is a cocky/funny bastard, but... He never shuts it off. We'll be in set and the girls will be laughing at first so it just fuels him to keep rolling with it. Eventually, the laughter dies out and he's still rambling on, laughing at his own jokes, and looks like a fucking tool.
ReplyDeleteI've had to shoot him a text a few times, mid set, saying something along the lines of "Calm down dude. You're trying to control the frame too much." Or "Dial down the cocky funny a bit, We're going to lose em"
Basic DYD ideas worked for me early on because I didn't have the balls to talk to attractive women the way I talked to my guy friends. As soon as I got past that, all the obsessive munitia about being "dominant" and "unreactive" started to get in my way. The fake alpha BS just backfires horribly with halfway intelligent women.
ReplyDeleteAnd David himself is a perfect case study for the movement to stop high-school bullying.
I like this one, i though do not understand it properly, do i not...
ReplyDeleteThere is an emotional aspect to it that i seem to understand just a tint:
you're taking this way to seriously" "this is so why we can't have nice things" "you do that again and I'll tickle you until you pee your pants!".
I noticed girls do EC more when you're C&F (busting her "balls" <- this sounds stupid for some reason), she does EC in a magnetically way.. the more tension there is, the more she stares? they can... and its strange, i can't pretend (sometimes) i can't laugh and release tension... ow my bad'