Good stuff...You are absolutely right. it's a kind of mentality that although girls are there, you can't let it rule your life..or else you won't have one.
Spot on. I stopped approaching for a few months..then just got back into it, and already have a few dates. I also don't read much these days either. My job and other things happening in my life have re-gained priority, and things are on the way up.
Entropy sent me here. I'm a research guy with an interest in identity. Here's my theory as to why taking a break is so ameliorative.
That which we invest ourselves in affects our self-perceptions and consequently, our values, priorities and goals. A guy who identifies as a PUA will have an emotional attachment to maintaining the self-perception of a successful PUA - defined by comparing his results to something. That something is almost always the results of other people (which is generally a challenging standard). The same guy, who then stops engaging PU and focuses on something he is good at (i.e. his job, social circle or hobby), will then need to validate an different composite of self-perceptions based on the required skill-sets.
Often times, guys involved in PU are smart and excellent at the other areas of their life and so, taking a break from PU immediately makes them feel like successful men as they remove the recurrent rejection and failure experienced as PUAs.
Then, when they return to PU, they have a renewed sense of confidence. The overall sense of confidence provides the emotional energy needed to pursue PU (and avoid burn out) and enables us to be unaffected by rejection, flakes and setbacks.
hear hear! there is a lot of stress in the community i think. the irony of it all is ofcourse that making 'getting good with women' the focus of your life you basically obstruct yourself. How random people react to you is going to determine how u feel about urself, very unhealthy. Just focus on the living ur life in a healthy normal way and only do some pickup on the side if u feel like it.
Good stuff...You are absolutely right. it's a kind of mentality that although girls are there, you can't let it rule your life..or else you won't have one.
ReplyDeleteSpot on. I stopped approaching for a few months..then just got back into it, and already have a few dates. I also don't read much these days either. My job and other things happening in my life have re-gained priority, and things are on the way up.
ReplyDeleteEntropy sent me here. I'm a research guy with an interest in identity. Here's my theory as to why taking a break is so ameliorative.
ReplyDeleteThat which we invest ourselves in affects our self-perceptions and consequently, our values, priorities and goals. A guy who identifies as a PUA will have an emotional attachment to maintaining the self-perception of a successful PUA - defined by comparing his results to something. That something is almost always the results of other people (which is generally a challenging standard). The same guy, who then stops engaging PU and focuses on something he is good at (i.e. his job, social circle or hobby), will then need to validate an different composite of self-perceptions based on the required skill-sets.
Often times, guys involved in PU are smart and excellent at the other areas of their life and so, taking a break from PU immediately makes them feel like successful men as they remove the recurrent rejection and failure experienced as PUAs.
Then, when they return to PU, they have a renewed sense of confidence. The overall sense of confidence provides the emotional energy needed to pursue PU (and avoid burn out) and enables us to be unaffected by rejection, flakes and setbacks.
Cross-
hear hear!
ReplyDeletethere is a lot of stress in the community i think. the irony of it all is ofcourse that making 'getting good with women' the focus of your life you basically obstruct yourself. How random people react to you is going to determine how u feel about urself, very unhealthy. Just focus on the living ur life in a healthy normal way and only do some pickup on the side if u feel like it.