Ok, now that I have your attention, I want to talk to you about when and how getting laid can actually HURT your overall progress.
If you're familiar with my teaching, you know I harp a lot on the idea of Inner and Outer Game symmetry. Which is a fancy way of saying that you need to improve your inner and outer game evenly, or face consequences.
The most common mistake guys make when it comes to inner/outer game symmetry happens when guys believe they are BETTER than they actually are. Usually this happens because they get some success early on. In fact over the course of 3 years of 12M2M the success rate of guys who got laid on their 1st bootcamp is MARKEDLY lower than that of guys who didn't. With one of those guys being Karl from Chicago who got laid with a cute 20 something in Las Vegas and still to this day swears all cute girls he approaches have boyfriends or only want guys with looks...
The reason is pretty simple, girls want to get laid too. If you go out and approach enough women, you will get laid. It probably won't be with your ideal girl, but you will find a girl who is down if you are willing to go out and approach enough. So sometimes you literally do "Get lucky". Not to say that there is no skill in just not fucking up when you have a girl who is really interested.
The reason this is bad, is that when guys get success too early on with pick up, it goes to their heads. They start to think that it's ALWAYS this easy. Or even worse they start to believe they are REALLY good at pick up before it's true. They instantly forget that they hadn't gotten laid in 2 years before that or that this is like the 3rd time they've ever approached a woman. This leads to a sense of entitlement and a complete bewilderment when they go back to their hometowns and no girls want to sleep with them or even return their calls. This leads to a lot of guys getting mad or saying " This stuff doesn't work" and then eventually giving up because they didn't realize the amount of work necessary to get good at cold approach. They thought it was ALWAYS going to be this easy. Like there is some sort of magic bullet that they just had to learn in a seminar room and then say to a girl.
The thing about pickup is that it is a process. Meaning that there are going to be ups and downs. Sometimes you get those highs early on, and while I think it's important to enjoy those successes and look at the tactical things you did right, you need to keep a balanced perspective about where you actually are. If you just got your first cold approach lay you;re NOT good at cold approach yet. Sorry.
Ironically I think one of the reasons I was able to become as successful as I am was because I went out and did 7 approaches EVERY day for 6 months without any results when I started in 2003. So I got used to the grind of cold approach and therefore wasn't surprised later on when things were tough and results were harder to come by.
So if you have an early success, stay humble, think about what you learned or what you did that worked, but don't get ahead of yourself. Start from the beginning by building a solid base of social skills before you start worrying about more advanced stuff. Even if you got laid on your bootcamp.
JS- The King Of Content
What would you say are some benchmarks of progress say in your 12M2M program or overall learning pickup? Where should a normal socially well adjusted guy be at in 3 months, 6 months, a year if he were to focus on cold approach?
ReplyDelete>>Ironically I think one of the reasons I was >>able to become as successful as I am was >>because I went out and did 7 approaches EVERY >>day for 6 months without any results when I >>started in 2003.
ReplyDeleteThat's really admirable how you did that. It would be interesting to read more about how you came through..
forget about posting here, he doesnt answers lol, dont even read I guess
ReplyDelete