Tuesday, April 27, 2010

RHONY Power Rankings week 8!!!

Man, I have been busy and dealing with some stuff...

All I will say about that is that self reflection and dating more than 3 girls at a time are tricky mistresses...

But none of that should keep me from my quest to turn the RHONY into a competitive sport. So for that I apologize dear readers, and without any further ado, I want to leap directly in to the Power Rankings.

1. She's back- Bethenny, my second favorite woman of all time(Behind only love of my life Chelsea Handler) is back in her rightful spot, after the engagement party where she handled herself very well despite Jill's high school antics. B also gets extra points for apologizing to Luann like a normal person, and for finally realizing just exactly what Jill Zarin is all about and realizing that she no longer needs to be friends with her. I like that it seems like Bethenny has established real friendships with Alex and Ramona, leaving Luann, Kelly and Jill to make up the axis of Evil much like Matador, Mystery, and Lovedrop did at the Chicago Superconference in 2006.

2. Sonja. I tweeted that from now on I was going to call all Cougars "Sonjas" in an homage to this lovely sexual predator. Sonja leaps up to the 2nd spot in just her second power rankings for pointing out what everybody thinks about Kelly ( She only remembers men and snubs women) and for the hysterically awkward scene where she is about to tell her story about her husband cheating and then decided to ask Kelly and Luann. Let's be honest EVERY woman at that table had their husband cheat on them multiple times. At least Sonja's getting hers back. Plus her on liner about Max and Kelly was classic saying " If I got into the back of a limo with a guy who looked like that, I'd be getting out with a relationship."

3. Luann. It pains me to put the countless this high, but the scenes with her looking for apartments and discussing the differences between the Upper East Side and Lower East Side were too funny, even though for some reason she refers to them as up and downtown... It was also funny watching Luann at the dinner with Kelly and Sonja as she avoids the cheating question since her ex husband The Count has been linked to an African model recently. The pricing of the Apts in Manhattan just reaffirms my theory that unless you're balling out of control, or want to live in a 2k a month shoebox Manhattan is not for you. You can however live in Brooklyn...

4. The RamonaCoaster. No real chaos here from Ramona, except when they show her at work and she warns her staff that she's going to flip out before doing exactly that. Kinda reminds me of the logic behind telling a girl you're trying to get in her pants. Ramona must figure if she tells them she's going to do it first, it can't be that bad... It was a cute scene when she asked her daughter Avery to be her maid of honor at the 17th renewal of her vows with Mario. I'm glad Avery agreed or that would have been embarrassing.

5. Kelly. Kelly is an idiot and reminds me of EVERYTHING I hate about the self help movement and overpositivity. The scene where she cooks pancakes for the kids and burns the plastic tells you everything you need to know about Kelly.

6. Alex. I hate to place the sanest and most reasonable housewife so low, but she really wasn't a major factor in tonight's episode. Though I have hope for the future after the "Coming up On The RHONY" preview at the end of the episode.

7. Jill Zarin. I used to really like Jill. I thought she was funny, and clever and generally pretty together. I even enjoyed her cold as ice treatment of Bethenny for awhile. But now it's gotten to be WAY too much. There is no reason she couldn't have come over to congratulate B before she did. There is no reason for her to pretend that she is always blindsided by seeing Bethenny at events because THEY FILM A FREAKING TV SHOW TOGETHER... There was no excuse for her behavior the last few episodes from refusing Bethenny at Ramona's house to the meltdown at the Gotham magazine party. Jill clearly only cares about herself as was evidenced when she was talking to Bobby not about how she felt awkward, but about how she was going to look like a piece of shit for not going over to B. Newsflash Jill Zarin, you looked like a piece of shit 2 episodes ago.

The next few episodes look EXPLOSIVE, I personally cannot wait for whatever Alex does that lead Jill Zarin to say something like " I hate Alex, I will never forgive her fro this." Plus we still have a reunion show coming.

Sooo Excited!

JS

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