The Dark Side of Confidence, self expectations and drive.

" This song isn't for you it's for me, a true MC that's what he'll do just to see if he still has it..." Eminem- No Apologies.

I'm writing this after taking a few days to compose my thoughts on Kanye and Michael Jordan's public image snafus the last 5 days or so.

I think Kanye needs help coping with fame, and I think MJ is still MJ at 46 years of age, but that's not what this post is about.

This post is about why they both did what they did.

Why Michael Jordan after 30 years still seethes about being cut from his Varsity Team, or still has to mention Bryon Russell after 2 game winning jumpers over him in the finals.

Or why Kanye felt the need to inject himself into someone else's moment.

I wanted to write about this because I understand it.

I understand the urge to want to show people that they were wrong. Even after you've won. I know what it's like to feel like everyone is against you even in the face of overwhelming success.

The thing people are missing as they jump to judge both of these men, is that the very characteristics that caused them to act out, are what made them successful.

It's well known to anyone who has studied him beyond the commercials that the God of Basketball, constantly needed challenges to perform to the best of his ability. In fact it was well known that EVERY coach in the league instructed rookies to not talk to MJ. EVER. There's the famous story about the dream team scrimmage where his team was down 10-2 to Magic Johnson's and Charles Barkely started running his mouth. The result a 16-0 Jordan run that changed and eventually ended what's considered the greatest game never seen.

When challenges weren't there Jordan would create them, to work himself into a competitive fury he'd unleash on the person who'd "wronged" him. Ask Cleveland after they cheered him falling in 92, or Gerald Wilkins the self proclaimed "Jordan Stopper" or best of all ask Clyde Drexler if he's still not in shock from this:



There's even this classic commercial:



It's what he needed to do, to go out and play like Michael Jordan 82 games a year.

So while we showered him with praise for his game winners and the ice water in his veins, we forget that outside the realm of athletics being "a killer" or my favorite description " Homicidally competitive" doesn't always look so pretty.

Same thing with Kanye. Like him or hate him, he is one of the most talented producers/musicians working today. And even in a world of ego maniacs he's known for being a bit too arrogant. But that very arrogance that we hate when it leads to him ruining the best moment of a 17 year old girl's life, is what allowed him to go from working at the gap 10 years ago to being the hottest producer in the music world for the last few.

This is something that happens with guys and pickup all the time. As soon as a guy starts to get a little bit of success he becomes more arrogant. The dreaded PUA syndrome kicks in and all of a sudden that cool Canadian guy who used to help on bootcamps is now a raging egomanical asshole with a matching Labret piercing.

Hell I did it myself.

The missing piece IMHO is the ability to believe in your abilities while still maintaining a humble attitude. I think about it in terms of being a lifelong student.

The reason I'm able to keep making strides in my game while EVERY ONE of my contemporaries has fallen off is because I still view myself as a student of the Game. The second you start to believe you've mastered anything, is the moment you stop learning and improving.

But I still feel those moments where I need to be challenged for motivation.

Everytime I see someone post something good, I take it as a personal challenge to my self appointed throne as the king of content, and I make sure that I knock my next post out of the park.

Does that make me come off petty sometimes?

Of course it does.

Is that why back in the day I used to challenge everyone to pick up contests?

yup.

Is that why I got good at pick up whereas 95% of guys don't?

Better believe it.

JS