Ayn Rand Applied To Dating - The Fountainhead Part 2 of 4 Dominique Francon and Howard Roark on Sexual Tension

A Merry Tuesday to you,

I've finally started to rally out of sickness!

I've also decided that I'm going to be taking a break from night game for awhile. Possibly forever outside of bootcamps. I'm really at a good place mentally these days and I'm not in the mood to deal with annoying people, loud music, smoke and $10 drinks. I'm leaving Dallas in about 2 weeks and the city I'm moving to before I start 12 cities in 12 months is great for day game. Just today I picked up a mega hottie at the mall, and I feel the love of the game coming back.

But you guys wanna talk about The Fountainhead, so we'll get back on track.

In The Fountainhead the only female character of any merit is Dominique Francon. Dominique is the daughter of the world's most famous architect Guy Francon. She's a socialite whose only love is being outrageous and offensive. She does everything she does for one purpose, self amusement. But in a greater sense she lives to destroy the things that she knows are virteuous. This is why she has such a struggle with Howard Roark. One of the things that makes Francon an interesting character is her ability to recognize beauty and greatness, yet want to destroy it. She wants to destroy it because she thinks mankind is not worthy of greatness. She goes about trying to destroy Roark with literary criticism and by steering clients away from Roark. She even goes so far as to marry Peter Keating(The symbol of the insecure) to hurt Roark's business.

But she has a small problem, she still sees the beauty and greatness of Roark and his work. It possess her. The most interesting concept applied to dating in The Fountainhead, is the one of sexual possession.

I have a theory, that there are some girls with whom you're connection and chemistry is so strong that they will always come back to you if you wanted them back. In my life these girls are Barrie, Annie, and Meggan. No matter what I do, these girls love me for who I am. This is sexual possession. Or maybe romantic possession is a better term, but whatever it is that Rand describes between Howard Roark and Dominique Francon is electric. Not neccessarily healthy, but very realistic...

Here's a super interesting passage about Roark thinking of Dominique consider this a look inside the frame of a self assured dominant.

" He did not think of Dominique often, but when he did, the thought was not a sudden recollection, it was the acknowledment of a continuous presence that needed no acknowledgment. He wanted her. He knew where to find her. He waited. It amused him to wait, because he knew that the waiting was unbearable to her. He knew that his absence bound her to him in a maner more complete and humiliating than his presence could enforce. He was giving her time to attempt an escape, in order to let her know her own helplessness when he chose to see her again. She would know that the attempt itself had been of his choice, that it had only been another form of mastery. Then she would be ready either to kill him or come to him of her own will. The two acts would be equal in her mind. He wanted her brought to this. He waited."

Ok so there's a whole lot of stuff going on in that passage. It was enough that I highlighted it and wrote WTF???

This is a great example of the feeling of sexual tension. David D has described this type of emotional communication as " I can but I won't" The ability to be in control of your sexual desire, while acknowledging it is amazingly arousing to women. Once you know the girl wants you, the longer you hold out, the more sexual tension is built up. Furthermore if you acknowledge the sexual tension as you build it, the result becomes exponential. This is something I learned from dating strippers. Every stripper I dated from 2005-2007 was amazing at what I refer to as coquetting or sexual teasing( Something I'll be covering in detail upcoming) They were able to almost make fun of me for wanting them while still making me want them... Especially after sex. So I picked up a whole bunch of this and Howard Roark's thinking echos the outer game tactics of a coquette. You wait to build desire, because you know that's what the girl wants. And because it's hot...

Another major theme in this passage is the idea of power exchange and sex. Part of female arousal is being sexually receptive. Men in general are sexually aggressive, women are not. I don't have a specific statistic, but IME in field ALMOST ALL girls are submissive and react strongly to Masculine Dominance. The helplessness that Dominique feels, builds the attraction and arousal. She wants to fight but ultimately she wants to lose. She wants to be dominated by the force of a personality and will that is too much for her to overcome. One of the weird oft quoted parts of Fountainhead is the initial love scene between Roark and Dominique where he literally rapes her. Then she comes to him a second time and says this...

" I want to be owned, not by a lover, but by an adversary who will destroy my victory over him, not with honorable blows, but with the touch of his body on mine. That is what I want from you Roark. That is what I am? You wanted to hear it all. You've heard it. What do you wish to say now?"

To which Roark replies

"Take your clothes off."

The idea of power exchange and sexuality is a weird one and can lead into the deep dark BDSM community and places I'd rather not go. But sex and power are inextricably linked. Especially because a woman has to feel that she has some sort of control in the process of her own seduction. You have to create a space where she can feel exhilirated by your dominance and not frightened.

One of the biggest mistakes I see with guys going sexual is that they don't fractionate enough. You have to sprinkle in things like hair pulling, dirty talk, biting, and public fondling. If done all the time with a girl whose's not that comfortable being submissive and pleasing you, it can be weird. However there are ways to build compliance and set frames to lead women to please you. The best part about is it that they love it! Women like the idea of helping and serving a powerful man. In fact most women would rather be the second GF of a powerful man than the wife of a weak man. Retaining and exercising your power in a mutually healthy way is key to the matter of seduction, and furthermore relationship management.

The key part there is how I said the woman had to know she was in control even in the face of dominance? Again as in real life the relationship had mutual power exchange as evidenced by this passage here.

"She tried to demonstrate her power over him.She stayed away from his house;she waited for him to come to her. He spoiled it by coming too soon;by refusing her the satisfaction of knowing that he waited and struggled against his desire; by surrendering at once. She would say: "Kiss my hand, Roark." He would kneel and kiss her ankle. He defeated her by admitting her power;she could not have the graticifcation of enforcing it. He would lie at her feet, he would say: " Of course I need you. I go insane when I se you. You can do almost anything you wish with me. Is that what you want to hear? Almost Dominique. And the things you couldn;t do- you could put me through hell if you demanded them and I had to refuse you, as I would. Through utter hell Dominique. Does that please you? Why do you want to know whether you own me? It's so simple. Of course you do. All of me that can be owned."

" She felt no thrill of conquest; she felt owned more than ever, by a man who could say these things, know them to be true, and still remain controlled and controlling."

This is what's commonly referred to as a "congruence test." She wants to make sure that Roark is the man she wants him to be so badly. And it is only by testing him and putting him and herself through suffering that she can be sure., and it's only when a woman is sure of a man that she can give herself over to them completely. This is the power of dominance and sexual possession, and the dynamic before the surrender is called Sexual Tension.

I'll be back soon to post about Peter Keating.

S