The Men of Sex And The City-Part 3: Trey Mcdougal

SO this took a really long time to get up today, because I spent most of my day trying and failing to record a decent video blog... Annoying. I have a new found respect for actors...

Anywho, back to SATC.

The next guy we're going to talk about is a guy with a ton of inner psychology issues. As well as psychological impotency. That's right Dr Trey Mcdougal.The Mcdougals being the type of people with a lot of roman numerals after their names. And yes they are from connecticut.They also produced a son with a ton of sexual anxiety and issues around sex. I personally believe through my work with thousands of guys that the average guy has WAY more sexual issues than the average girl. Let's learn about a few.

The reason Trey is able to get Charlotte comes down to stereotyping. He's what girls call "good on paper guys." He's a good looking DR from an upper class family with a lot of history and tradition. He's everything women say they want. However Charlotte soon learns that what women say they want and what they actually want are two very separate things.Something we learn very early on in the community. Remember guys sometimes girls fall victim to guys who aren't as cool as they appear. I know cause I used to be one of them and hurt more than a few girls.

The first thing that hurts Trey is the fact that he's easily manipulated. His mother Bunny is able to get him to eat different food and decorate his apartment with stufed Mallards. Charlotte gets him to marry her by her proposing and him saying "allrighty". Making decisions and being certain about things is a major factor in attraction. As David Deida writes women are attracted to men that are rocks during their emotional storms. You have to be certain. I even think one of Zan's original quotes that I loved was " I may be wrong but I am never in doubt!" These are words to live by! In fact certainty is also a major tenet of congruence. My favorite story of all time ( Which I tell in this video clipHere) happened because I was certain that the girl was going to sleep with me. Trey lacks all certainty. He's kind of a wimp, and no amount of value can hide that.

The second thing Trey has going against him is because he's such a wimp and Charlotte is crazy, they don't sleep together until the night before the wedding. When Trey can't get it up. That's right he's psychologically impotent. As opposed to the impotency being physical. The reason behind this, appears to be a Madonna/Whore complex later as Charlotte catches Trey jacking it to an issue of Juggs late at night. They try couples counseling where Trey is too uptight to talk about sex in front of a therapist. This is another lesson, the more comfortable you get with sex, the more women will want to sleep with you. You have to(And we have to as a society IMO) let go of sexual judgment. In order to be super successful with women you have to understand that sex isn't that big of a deal, people all want more sex than they're getting, and there's nothing wrong with sex simply for the sake of sex. It's huge.I get laid a fair amount just off having and expressing these beliefs to women. But you can't fake it. Girls can smell it when it's fake. You have to actually let go of judging people for their sexcapades. Even if you think "they're wrong" or "gross." No one believes in wrong and right more than me, but as long as things are between two consenting adults, and no one's getting hurt emotionally or physically...Enjoy.

Trey like 70% of guys has a little too much Madonna/Whore complex going on. He wants to have a chaste, pure wife and have dirty sexual playthings to take care of his unclean desires.

Many men are ashamed of their sexual impulses and urges. They think they should be above them or that getting pleasure from sex is somehow wrong. If you have issues like this you need to work on them!! You need to learn that there is nothing wrong with your sexual desires(again as long as no one's getting hurt) and you've been taught that urges that are perfectly natural and normal are dirty and wrong. It's not your fault!!

Educate yourself on sex and evolutionary biology. I particularly enjoyed Sperm Wars, The Guide To Getting it on, 9 and a half weeks, My Secret Garden. A lot of these books are hard to read if you're still putting women into categories like "whore" and "nice girl" The truth is each woman is both a Madonna and a Whore depending on the situation and the guy. Believe me I had more sexual anxiety than anyone. I have some stories that are humiliating... But I learned both through first hand and textbook education. And you can too!

If you guys have questions on SA and other male sexuality issues hit me up at Sinn at Sinnsofattraction... and if as many guys as I imagine are out there with weird sex questions, email me and if I've gone through it I'll give you what I did to get over it.I know,these kinda issues which can be embarrassing are DEVASTATING to your dating life.


Ultimately Trey and Charlotte's relationship ends. It ends, because after they work through the impotency issue Charlotte wants a baby and can't get pregnant. Then Trey decided he didn't want to adopt and again we get a case of mismatched wants and needs in a relationship.

This is a huge thing people overlook when they fall in love.

I'm not saying that you should be inflexible or never change but BOTH parties in a relationship need to be aware of what they need to be happy. The most important person in every relationship is you. And I think every girl should think that way too. You have to make sure you're getting what you want and need or you should move on. No one is perfect and you really have to figure out what kind of crazy you can tolerate, and what things you can't be ok with. This includes the level of openness of the relationship.

When priorities change or aren't in line, the end of a relationship isn't necessarily a bad thing. Staying in a relationship that's wrong for you or doesn't make you happier than if you were out of it is stupid. No matter how bad you feel like it will be without that person, you'll survive. And probably find someone whose better for you
As Charlotte did.

Tomorrow we'll be discussing Millionaire Playboy Richard Wright and Toecutter's idea of The Universal relationship proposition.

S