Basic Social Skills

Hey guys,

Since starting 12 Months to Mastery I've now gotten feedback to prove something that I already really believed. Game is useless without BASIC social skills.

BradP already hinted at this when he talked about how you can't use negs or boyfriend destroyers if you have social anxiety because even though the words are right the delivery is wrong and you look terrified. I actually now have evidence it goes one step beyond that. In 12 Months to Mastery the first thing I have done is strip everyone back down to zero. My thinking went something like this " If you can't open a group of guys and girls by saying hi and then relating to them without routines, techniques or tactics, you are going to have problems." Why? Because you won't always have routines, you can't always be non reactive, or dominant or anything. The first step to socializing is making people socially comfortable while talking to you. Comfort actually comes before attraction(credit AFC Adam) but it's not the type of rapport based comfort most people in the community assume. Instead it's socail comfort, I.E the idea that this person will not creep you out, bore you or insult you.

So how do you learn to make people socially comfortable? Basic conversational skills. The very things that certain schools mock as "AFC" are the building blocks to ultimately having great game. Back in the old school ASF days this skill was referred to as "fluff talk". Ultimatley it comes down to a few basic points:

1. Relate to the other people in the conversation. Show how your experiences intertwine with theirs or vice versa. This can be done by asking questions or making statements.

2. Keep the conversation going, by changing conversational subjects. There's a lot of material out there on this.

3. Demonstrate genuine interest in getting to know them. Not interest in fucking them.

4. Talk about yourself. Don't be afraid to relate things about yourself and how you came to be who you are.

5. Asking questions that set up information about you. Instead of using questions to find out about them, use your questions to set up information about you. For example:

Sinn: " Are you guys locals?"
Girls: " Yeah we're from Mesquite.
Sinn: " Yeah? I'm from LA, which is funny cause iw as the least pretentious person there, and now I'm the most pretentious person in Texas. :)

I'll have some more articles on this stuff up later this month, but for npow start looking at basic social skills as the glue that holds routines and all the tactics together.

S