LR: Stilts

I just got back from a week of insanity in Miami with a motley crew of characters, including Speer, Psych, The coolest PR natural of all time and the beach.

This report actually comes from Last Thursday night but I've been way too busy to post it. Psych put up his thoughts on the night Here

The night began as Speer had a date and I had to find something to do with myself. Speer's lifestyle is pretty ridiculous. At one point I was crashing on the couch with 3 girls, though it was nowhere near as cool as it sounds :) Psych had been telling us all about how he had bought stilts and was going to film pick ups on them. Naturally I thought this was the best idea EVER and I wanted in. So we took this opportunity to go down to Nikki Marina and test em out.

Here's some footage...




Here's me falling while trying to approach.



Here's me proving an age old adage...



Now after we put the Stilts away, we noticed that we had stumbled into a bachelor/bachelorette auction. Not only that, but they had printed up brocheres which allowed the contestants to describe themselves. My favorite was "Chris", who " is a numbers man by day and an ladies man at night. Whether it's crunching numbers at work or just getting yours at night. Chris can always turn up the heat". So I turned this into my opener, by walking around with the booklet and asking people if this describes them or if they would be interested in someone who this described. Good times.

I also busted out some Hollywood Attraction stuff which I'm going to continue to let be the best kept secret in the community. Here's a video teaser from this night...







Finally I see a H-ERD ( Hot nerd) she's by herself at the bar and I open with my favorite opener right now which is simply singing " I love ..." This time it was vodka. From there we discussed her nerd glasses, her fake Boston accent that was actually from Michigan, how she has freckles, red hair and big boobs so she should probably run away before I try to fuck her... Etc.

Turns out she's there for her friend's 30th Bday and her friend is literally passed out drunk on the couch. Her other friend comes over with some dude and Psych comes in to steal her very cute blonde friend away.

More talking, she's actually super down to earth so I compliment her on this and like ALL women she can't take compliments. Psych's moving his girl all around so I move mine to sit by her drunk friend who now is awake again... GRRR could be a potential ER. I talk to the friend and my girl until "regular Bob" comes over. Apparently this guy frequents the bar my girl and her friend work at. He's boring so I go to the bathroom. When I get back my girl obviously wants to escape( the intended effect) and asks me if I want a drink, I refuse to be difficult and make her work harder to isolate me. She's chasing now, so I want to let her chase. She says we should find Psych and her friend. So we go looking for them and find them on a floating putting green (don't ask). We get on with them until Psych's girl has to go tinkle. At which point I apply my " Dare them to stop me" style of escalation. This came from talks I used to have with Savoy(usually while drunk) that once a girl is accpeting escalation you can just keep escalating until she stops you ( Once) and then you know where her limits are and you've made maximum forward progress. I end up fingering this girl on the putting thing but she didn't want to have sex soo out in the open. We were floating in the middle of an inlet as people walked by...

We go back to find her friends. Psych has already bounced his girl who happens to be my girl's roomie home. Perfect. Now I can go back to her place to get my ride. We make arrangements to take drunk Bday girl home, head back to her place. I get the " I feel like a whore right now" speech right before she brings me into her room and begs me to fuck her....

Girls are weird :)

Stilts are awesome!

S