Mailbag # 2 Dates- A How To :Part 1

Hey Sinn,

I love your blog.

I have been in the game for a while and can get constant D2s but no D3s. If you could describe the perfect D2 how would it be? Should you make a deep connection or stay superficial, should you make future plans, should you kiss, should you go for same day? I know that a lot of guys have problems with the D2, but somehow this area is not well described.

Looking forward to your response,

Daniel, Sweden


Hey Daniel,

First of all stop calling dates d2s. I never really understood that. It was like somehow if we called them something else it doesn't set the "dating" frame. What's wrong with the dating frame? Women do sleep with guys they go on dates with. Just this Sun I had a girl tell me she never sleeps with guys on the first date. After I had just fucked her on our first date where we went to dinner... There's nothing inherently wrong with the dating frame. There's something wrong with the " I'm trying to impress you" frame. Anyway enough of my ranting about semantics. I just think the terminology is really weird and I was always waiting for one of the community guys I used to hang out with to refer to his girlfriend coming over as a day 46.

The most important thing in my mind about dates is where they start. There's only one correct answer here and that's at your place. Now this assumes you live near where your date is going to happen. If you don't something is wrong and you should plan a date closer to your place. There are always cool neighborhood bars, coffee shops, restaurants etc, near where you live. You just need to get out and actually find them.

So you've set up your date( Which could and should be a separate post in and of itself) and you tell her to meet you at your place " Call me when you get there and I'll come out." Then when they call I come outside but whoops I forgot my wallet. That means we have to go back up. It's vitally important that you get the girl used to her being in your place without you trying to make a move on her. My wing Captain Jack alternatively tries to escalate when they come in and if he can't close them then( Which is rare for him) he takes them on the date. That's another strategy though he does have super powers so mere mortals should use that at their own risk. Back to the previous point showing a woman your home takes away the fear of the unknown for her and it will be far easier to get her back to your place later.

The next thing EVERY date needs is multiple venues. The more place you spend time with a woman in the longer it will feel like she has known you. My particular date goes through up to 7 different locations not counting my place. The best thing is none of them are more than 3 blocks from my place. This is how you can do dinner dates without setting up a traditional dinner date. In the middle of doing something else just casually mention how hungry you are and suggest stopping in somewhere for a bite.

Now while you're on the date you should be filling in the empty canvas of your life. Now is the time to talk about your hopes and dreams, the things you are passionate about, your friends, and family, hobbies etc.. It's time to literally be yourself. One of the things every girl will think when she's on a date with you is " How would my life be different if this guy were my boyfriend"
So you want to make sure you paint a vivid picture of your life. I tend to rant about things because that's how I am. I also run my grounding sequence on my first date as I know I'll have her undivided attention for at least 25 minutes.

You asked if you should keep it superficial or get deeper. My answer is that you should get deep but be fun! A lot of guys will make the mistake of neglecting attraction entirely on the date. You need to remind her periodically of why she was attracted to you in the first place. Fun is the most important factor in all of your dealings with women but especially with dates. If she's having fun whatever you are actually doing doesn't matter. Conversely if she isn't having fun you could be doing her favorite thing in the world and she'll hate it and you. Keep things playful and flirty the entire way but don't be afraid to demonstrate your passion and the things you actually care about.

Kissing- You asked if you should kiss or not. You should be kissing the girl as soon as you think you can. If you made out when you met her then you have to be able to tell when she hugs you hello if you can kiss her right away. Usually I will hold off on kissing in the beginning to build some more sexual tension for later.

Tomor I'll finish up this article by talking about how to build sexual tension on a date, how to escalate physically, how to get her back to your house at the end and much much more.

Same Sinn time, same Sinn station

S