x-calation
I wanted to write a post about the idea of sexual escalation.
There is a major difference between escalating touching and escalating the increasingly sexual nature of the interaction. In the classic MM model of seduction, a premium is placed on the idea of maintaining higher social value at the expense of direct sexualizing of the interaction. This is because guys buy into the completely bullshit idea of " The Seven Hour Rule". That some magical bell goes off in a woman's head when 420 minutes have passed and all of a sudden you guys end up in the bedroom and sex just happens. or the seduction is mutual as it's sometimes explained.
Unfortunately this just doesn't correlate to real world situations. In the real world it is very possible to have sex with women within 30 mins if you know how to recognize the signs and escalate sexually in a comfortable manner.
The key to this for me is the idea of letting the girl know you're trying to fuck her but you like her even if you guys don't have sex. My overall frame which I verbalize to women after there is a mutual attraction( Meaning that I have already gotten her attracted to me and qualified her for things other than her looks) is that I like them, they're adorable and I want to hang out with them. But I'm always going to be trying to fuck them. But even if we don't have sex it won't bother me. And this prompts congruence tests, girls will say things like " You're not going to sleep with me" or my favorite " You're not going to sleep with me tonight!". I love the second one because it assumes we're going to sleep together at some point past tonight(Passive acceptance of my frame). This is good I've induced a congruence test based on getting her into bed. If I can pass these tests, I gain value sexually. My responses are always the same " We'll see" . Then I tease her for liking me. This creates a great push/pull dynamic where I'm chasing her by trying to get her into bed and then pushing her away for liking me. Thus creating a space where only a sexual relationship can happen. Combined with sexual framing, this is lethal.
Once this frame and push/pull has been created I can now over-escalate ( By getting too sexual, Escalating too much in the venue.. etc) and blame it on her. After all I told her what was going to happen. Now I can also dismiss her and she will stay. I can say " Seriously this is sooo bad and I'm not going to stop. Do yourself a favor and don't let me undercook your muffins". It's a weird phrase which plays on confusion. And I did steal it from an Atmosphere song.
The key to avoiding being a horny guy or pushy is to constantly dismiss her. You need to make the escalation and then warn her about you. I talk about how I'm not boyfriend material and will fuck her sister, break up with her before major holidays, etc... But I am charming. I also mercilessly tease girls about how much they like me and how they are making a bad decision. But it might be bad in a good way.
This is one part of how I create a sexual interaction faster than anyone not named Captain Jack. The second part is using sexual framing to name and bring out the parts of her that want to have sex then and there, while shrinking the parts of her that are socially conditioned to not be a slut.
Hope that clears some things up for everyone.
Hit me up with Comments!
S
"Then I tease her for liking me. This creates a great push/pull dynamic where I'm chasing her by trying to get her into bed and then pushing her away for liking me."
ReplyDeleteCould you quote some other examples?
Great post.
-JimSmith
The memories of boston and the set that consisted of pretty much you telling her how much she likes you will go down in history and live on forever. Not as great as that scramble by Eli or that catch but it is still up there.
ReplyDeleteCan you give us more details on the second part, sexual framing?
ReplyDeleteGreat post, man. As usual.
ReplyDeleteAn example of teasing her for liking you would be like "Aww you like me, thats so adorable, you dont have to blush I think its cute"
ReplyDeleteand stuff like that. I think thats whats he's talking about.
You were discussing your overall frame that you verbalize...
ReplyDeleteDo you actually *say* upfront "I'm always going to be trying to fuck you, but even if we don't have sex it won't bother me."
I understand the power of the frame, but doesn't that kind of set the dynamic that she's already won you... that she has you 'on tap' and so there's no more chase?
That is ridiculous. I hope you write an eBook or something because attending a seminar is hard for me. I really like all your days, and one day would love to learn your techniques.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the information man. Once again we are all listening. And I finished "A New Earth" that book is awesome (in an earlier post you talked about it, so I researched it and bought it).
Funny, there is a girl I've done everything but full-close with. My friend bangs her best friend constantly and we tease both of them about liking us and the inevitable 4-way thats coming soon. So, last weekend, my friend used my phone to call the girl he bangs and left a drunk-sexual-4-way-suggesting VM....then forgot to hang up and we talked about them for 2-3 minutes before realizing.
ReplyDeleteFast forward to today, I'm talking to both of the girls about the "VM episode" and basically frame it as 'see guys can be open with their emotions, we're almost there anyways...I'm not scared to cross swords etc. etc' which is all playful
Later in the day I get some pretty steamy texts from my girl and, basically, time will tell, but I think a full blown orgy is inevitable at this point:)
3 cheers for sexual escalation!!!
For some reason I'm reminded of Boobsquad. I saw them do a full close in about 40 minutes. from meet to close. Crazy shit. They offered a bit of money to kick things off, but the essence was there. It was still a pick up.
ReplyDeletegreat stuff Sinn!
ReplyDeletehowever a fr(or some exemple from real life lines exchange)would be much better cos i don t get it 100%how to apply this in the field.
thxs.
"This creates a great push/pull dynamic where I'm chasing her by trying to get her into bed and then pushing her away for liking me. Thus creating a space where only a sexual relationship can happen. Combined with sexual framing, this is lethal."
ReplyDeleteWoooo, I sort of do this, I never 'chase' her though per se, I'm a big proponent of using push/pull whilst I 'frame' her as wanting to get banged right there and then to 'pumperstatenfucker'. My frame is I'm a sleazy-player douche and my only intention is to fuck her, and I'm very open about this, so just by talking to me and being there, she is in my frame. My reality, my world, my rules.
Also works great for me on getting girls to drop their inhibitions aswell, as I seem to have a propensity to pull girls who say how much they hate oral sex, but they end up doing it anyway :/
Excellent Post. My friend and I have just started getting into the game and are doing pretty well opening sets and #closing.
ReplyDeleteIn the past (pre-game) my sexual transitions always happened in an un-calculated random way - This will be a great tool to bump up the !close rate! thanks
Hey Sinn, that was awsome, but it would be great if you can further explain how sexual frames work, and some examples. The only one I can think of is telling a girl how you like the fact that she isn't afraid to express herself sexuality, and isn't tied down to social conditioning.
ReplyDeleteHi Sinn -
ReplyDeleteGreat note. Really helps all of us in our game.
Could you give an example to illustrate this last statement you make:
"The second part is using sexual framing to name and bring out the parts of her that want to have sex then and there, while shrinking the parts of her that are socially conditioned to not be a slut."
When will you do a BC, snl, breakthrough comfort etc again with Cap Jack? Will those be anywhere in Chicago, Miami or Las Vegas? if not where?
ReplyDeletePD
sinn,
ReplyDeleteI've noticed that this is al good to have sex with a girl.
but sooner or later she'll want more. so unless you only want to have sex with her once or twice you should also tell her that you really like her. otherwise she'll feel like you only want to have sex with her.
a great way to improve your game is to get feedback from the girls you've dated. they can tell you how you make them feel and what you should improve on.