My love letter to the game...

Last year I wrote a post about my observations since my bootcamp.

You can read it in the archive from last Oct.

This year I thought I'd write an open letter to the game(not the book).

Here goes,

I know it's been a long time since we talked, I've been busy with old flames,work and my other loves.Then I realized that it's been too long.

I remember when I found you, it was years and years ago when a lonely boy was asking jeeves on the internet. I remember the giddy feeling in my stomach as I read about supplication, and negs, and cocky and funny. I read for hours,and hours. Until my eyes hurt from the computer screen. I printed out pages and pages off the internet. Mailbags, rules, techniques, routines, spastic ramblings... I read every book I could get my hands on.

Do you remember when I first went out to play you? I got up, got dressed, went to the mall and walked next to about 50 girls, before I opened my mouth to speak to one. I still remember how nervous I was before hand and how suprised I was when the girls talked to me. I talked to 7 girls that day. And the next day, and the next for a year and a half.

You became my salvation, my reason for being. But you tested my faith for 6 months. I never gave up adn you rewarded me.

Then things started going really fast, I loved you so much, but didn't understand you yet. I learned more and more about you. I met guys who called themselves Mystery, or Style. I hung out with guys who I met on the internet where the only commonality we had was that we both liked you. How was I to know that my love was deeper? That more committed. More insane than others??? I couldn't. But it was that love that led me to the living room of Project Hollywood all those years ago... It was the love that led me to intern for the company, then instruct. I had no greater desire to help others back then... I just wanted to learn as much as I could about you. I wanted to show you that I understood you best, that you were going to be happiest with me.

When I started teaching I was ecstatic because finaly I could share you with others. I could show them the amazing things that you had taught me about people, myself, women, and the world. And slowly the love for you started to dim. I started to care more about helping others get their first kiss from you. I wanted to share you with everyone, like the prize girlfriend I saw you as. I became arrogant that I "had" you and didn't need to keep the relationship fresh.

I still yearned to know more about you though. I refused to hit a glass ceiling, I refused to listen to others when they told me that we knew everything there was to know about you. Instead I started to look for the sides of you that we didn't see. Even though I had taken you for granted, I still cared. I always cared.

Then I looked around and those I had been trying to help for years had turned on me. They sent me demands for routines,for word by word descriptions of what I said in my LRs,They wrote nasty attacks about me on the internet.They even demanded I update my blog more. And I had to learn that no matter what you do for people, there will always be those who want more. Or those who are jealous. Or hateful.And it was hard. people I had known and trusted for years betrayed me. But you never turned on me.

I came back to you at the begginning of this year. I even moved somewhere else to learn from and with CJ, El Topo, Shaft etc.. I rededicated myself to you after THEY tried to take away my love for you with their petty gripes and comments. I realized that you were pure and predictable. I remembered the joy, I remembered the excitement I used to have when I couldn't wait to open sets no matter where they were. I remembered how powerful I felt when I realized every girl in a club was attracted to me and I could take my pick. I remembered the sense of accomplishment that came from taking the hard sets. I remembered the challenge of all of it. And I realized I loved you more than I ever had before, and that no matter what the future may bring I will always love you.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

Sinn-cerely