Future is explaining what he looked like before getting into the game.
This is an important point. None of us were naturals, or good at any of this stuff before we learned. And it must be weird for guys to think about that, because we now seem like we were always good at this. I think I even tend to forget sometimes, and I lose sight of what I used to be like and how far I've come. And most importantly how much guys can imporve if they are dedicated and honest with themselves.
I think this whole weekend is a test of a guy's resolve and how badly he wants success in this area of his life. If you don't WANT this bad enough, you are going to fail. And that's ok. If nothing else, you learn on bootcamp whether or not you want to get good at this.
It is all worth it though. When I think back to the women I have been with and the way I feel about myself now versus 4 years ago. All the work has been more than worth it.
Now we are talking about loud venues. They suck, but they have the hottest girls, that's a fact the noise is a built in protection shield which allows them to dance away. You have to be loud, you have to project your voice, and you may lose it as you are practicing. Your voice is a muscle like any other in your body, if you work it to failure, it comes back stronger. If you aren't losing your voice, you aren't talking loud enough.
Fucking comes before flowers and girls paying on dates.... Social intuition is an attraction switch. And the provider frame is a myth. One of my MAJOR problems with DYD stuff is that he talks about making girls pay for things. Bad idea when I started I tried thsi for months and while I got free lunches, Jamba juices and pretzels I wasn't getting laid. Spend the 6 bucks...
break time.
S
Can you go more in depth about the social intuition attraction switch and 'spending the 6 bucks?' I mean DYD taught me and many others about gettin the girl to pay for them, etc. but now you're going backwards to what an AFC would do? (Not saying u are AFC)
ReplyDelete-JimSmith
I interpret it as, if you got good game and gone through the major phases and got attraction, you can buy her dinner or whatever. just don't make a big deal out of it and don't make it a habit. just as you can buy your friend dinner without being outcome dependent.
ReplyDeletebeing stuck up and refusing to spend ANY money what so ever, no matter situation, just because David D says so, can make you look cheap/weird.
if you're coming from a high value position, this shit can actually amplify attraction. I mean girls dream of a guy like brad pitt buying them dinner, but that doesn't mean they want dinner from any random chode out there.
HOWEVER, what DYD says is mostly aimed to beginners that are chode wired. for newbies it's probably a good frame to take on early.
I just want to make one thing clear: The vocal folds are not like big muscles that need to be worked out. They are flimsy straps of skin. If you regularly lose your voice, you will damage them, and you will end up sounding gruff and harsh. I would rather recommend that you learn singing techniques for having a powerful and loud voice.
ReplyDeleteIt's simple...
ReplyDeleteYou display a lack of social intuition by creating an awkward as fuck situation... one that she has never experianced before BTW because what idiot would pull a stunt like this?
You are this awesome guy that she has told all of her friends about and then you embarrass her by making her pay? Maybe she's embarrassed, maybe she is upset that she misjudged you like she did, maybe it subcommunicates that you are cheap, maybe it communicates to her that you are a dick... These are all very real feelings that are passing through her head when you say, "So you got this?"
Ya she will pay for it. She won't socially violate. She won't add to the awkwardness by having an argument in the middle of Baja Fresh over who is cheapest... But she can and will avoid your calls later.
I wouldn't ask her to pay for shit until you are in a post-coitus relationship and she has had a chance to see who you really are. In a relationship... you share.
But a Day2 or a Timebridge is not a shit test... she is not asking you to buy things to see if you will jump through her hoops... she is expecting you to "spend the 6 bucks" because that is what current society/movies/books/parents etc. dictates the guy do on a date.
Evolutionarily speaking a guy who doesn't understand that he is supposed to pay for the date, has displayed fucked up circuitry. A guy with fucked up circuitry might just stand their as the dinosaur charges... rather than protect his woman and her offspring.
Once again... its not a shit test, its a date. Do the right thing. Don't create an awkward situation for the both of you.
-Priest-
I thought the whole point with the DYD stuff wasn't about girls buying you dinner. I thought it just meant don't spend money on a girl to TRY and make her attracted to you. Because I remember him talking about a friend of his who always buys women dinners, who consistently gets laid.
ReplyDeleteLike I said I just figured it meant don't supplicate to try and get attraction, that's the way I always interpreted it.
David D doesn't suggest getting girls to buy stuff, he suggest paying for dates but going on cheap ones (coffee, diner at home, etc...).
ReplyDeleteOnly when the girl complains about where they're going on a date does he tell the girl "Great, why don't we go where you want and you can pay, what time are you picking me up?"
David D also talks about guys who go to restaurants with chicks and get laid, but it's part of their lifestyle and they would go there anyway.
The AFC goes to restaurants ONLY to impress his girl. That's why he doesn't get any.
doing anything dogmatically isnt the best thing, just do what the sitution calls for/will allow, getting chicks to pay is good way to get investment into the interaction or free eats if your hungry :)
ReplyDeletesocial iq allows you the option of doing the right thing at the right time thus show attractive qualities, maybe not an attractive switch more the finger i would say
I've had a girl pay for something before we fucked. It was nothing like dinner though. It was either milkshakes or drinks on a "first date"... I was going to pay but they insisted they would. I obliged and nothing bad come of it.
ReplyDeleteIf anything, it was a great sign because I knew they liked me... or else they wouldn't have bothered.
It really is about social intuition because every situation is different. For an AFC, "Don't spend money on a girl" is good advice because they're used to getting tooled by women. But when you have more experience you can start to see when the woman is trying to tool you for free shit, when she is letting you pay because she wants you to feel like a man, when she doesn't want to embarrass you in front of the staff but will give you money outside, and when she's doing it as a kind of SOI (showing that this is officially a date). Putting her on the spot about it creates awkwardness like Priest said, and I would only do that if I feel the girl is tooling me.
ReplyDeleteHere in Japan for example, some girls will agree to a day2 for the single purpose of practicing English. These days I catch on to that very quickly, cut it short, and make them pay their share. But when the girl is doing her part to invest in the interaction I roll with whatever happens. And they usually pay their share voluntarily.