Beliefs

Beliefs are the core of inner game. What you believe and who you believe yourself to be, are the building blocks of who you convey yourself to be to women. Beliefs are dangerous. People kill for them, people die for them. They are much harder to change than ideas. Ideas are much more fluid, while making an idea a belief, makes you solidify your stance on it.

This is all important when it comes to meeting women. Having negative beliefs about yourself, and your success with women will derail your game no matter how many tactics and techniques you have. If you actually believe that you are not worthy of being with an attractive women, your mind will do anything that it can to sabotage you. No matter how much you want it. Because beliefs adn desires are not necessarily in line. You can have all the desire in the world to get better at this, but if you don't believe that you have the ability to get better at this, you are right.

There was a great NIKE comercial a few years ago that had a high school football scene and ended with a voice over saying " The man who says he can and the man who says he can't are both right. Which one are you?" That's the essence of belief and confidence.

Beliefs do not necessarily have to be true to be beneficial. For example Mystery constantly talks about how he can go 5 for 5. He can't. No one can. And this is no slight at Erik's game as he is amazing in field. However it is an impossibility to be able to get any girl you approach. There are so many variables that are outside of the control of a PUA. She could get back together with her BF, she could be leaving tomor back to somewhere half way across the world, she could be happily married when you approach. So there is no way that anyone can guarantee that they can go 5 for 5 EVERY time. Sometimes I have gone 5 for 5, but it is not something that happens all the time for anyone including celebrities.

That said, the belief that he can go 5F5 helps his inner game and confidence, as he has actually convinced himself that he can go 5F5. Craig from DYD has a similar belief, that it's always on. This can be directly contradicted by reality, like the time in vegas he had a girl throw a drink on him and then was making out with her later... His belief led him to staying in the set even when all the information he had screamed to contrary. But these beliefs, despite being incorrect are helpful.

The same thing works in reverse, if you have a great skillset, but you think that every set is going to be mean to you, or that every girl will flake, or that you will be rejected, you are well on your way to that outcome. This goes beyond teh power of positive thinking and encompasses so much of your internal talk.

You need to instantly become aware of negative beliefs.

What beliefs are you holding onto that may not be helpful?

David D in his "On being a Man" program talks about the reason you are not successful. And how everyone has something that they use to comfort themselves for being unsuccessful with women. The reasons can vary from being too short, too old, not cool enough, too much of a dork, too ugly, too poor... etc. But we hold onto these excuses, when really NONE of that matters for attracting and dating the women you are attracted to. Yes you do need to be well-groomed and maximizing your ptential, which is why i spend the last day of bootcamp doing fashion/style analysises and telling the guys what i think they should be trying to convey physically, but there are no barriers based on age or anything like that. In fact David D suggests using the reason as a flase disqualifier. Like "It would never work out between us, because I'm short and overcompensate by acting arrogant and you are ...."

You also cannot prove most beliefs about yourself. For example, if I want to convince myself that i am unsuccessful with women, I can look at a lot of incidents that happened before I was in the community. But if I want to believe I am successful with women, I ca find a lot of evidence for that too... So there is no reality, it's simply the version fo reality that is most helpful for us to achieve our goals. Beliefs can be used to make life better or worse.

I'd like everyone to take some time now and write down 10 reasons that you think you are unsuccessful with women, and then write down.

A: How can I change this?
B: Has there been a time when this isn't true?
C: What would life be like if this wasn't true.

Actually do this...

I'll wait.....................................................................................................................................................................................


Ok back, isn't it interesting that there have been times when all of those beliefs have been FALSE, and you have succeeded, or at least had a good interaction. That means that it is possible and the only things limiting you are inside your head.

Thoughts can be like viruses and we can get caught up in the idea that we are some how less than we need to be, when in fact we are all we need to be and more... We just need to convince ourselves.

The most important sticking points that you will ever have to fight with, are internal. And the first step to fixing your beliefs is recognizing which negative beliefs you have and then working on them.

S