I'm in bed wracked with lower back pain, Tenmag and I just did 3 hours on the best mountain in the world to ski and snowboard on and I am wrecked!I got back ripped off the wet clothes and dove into bed and this post.
Since I'm deranged and can't have any experience without relating it to game on some level, I noticed that I have an inner game issue when it came to snow barding today. I used to be pretty good, I was even sponsored in high school. Well I haven't snowboarded in about 5 years. So getting back on today i knew that I was in for some falls. But what I noticed was at the begginning I wasn't falling much, because I was riding the rail. I just coasted down instead of actually trying to gain some speed and carve. As soon as I noticed this I corrected it and started to fall A LOT. But I also started to get some of the muscle memory back, and by the end of the day I would say I was back to 50% of what I used to be able to do and I wasn't falling much anymore at all.
This is like the guy who used to be a natural but got into a long term relationship and his skills eroded, then he comes to a bootcamp and gets it instantly! In fact those guys are my favorite type of students because impressing them is hard. They get it when guys brag too much or try to hard to convince them they are good. We had one of these guys and his cousin in Austin and I did a set with him and he said that it was worth the price of the program alone to see that up close, because he thought he had game. I wish more guys who were already good with women started to take ou programs, because those guys have the potential to become SUPERSTARS. Not to say the guy with no experience doesn't I was with 1 girl before the community and 8 before I took my program. and now I've literally lost count of the exact number but it is really high. i won't post it but I do tell BC students so if you are curious ask someone who took a program.
The reason I was not willing to fall also underlines the issue of ego protection, everytime I fell it clashed with my identity as a guy who was good at snowboarding, so I felt bad emotions as my identity and reality were at odds. This is what is called a success barrier, Where it is easier to hold onto an identity than it is to let go of it and build something stronger. Having PUA as your identity is horrible for your game, because everytime you don't get the girl(Which in the begginning will be alot) you are exposed to bad emotions. When the only way you can validate your sense of self is reliant on picking up girls and all the external variables that go along with that, you are setting yourself up to fail. Instead being good with women should be a part of your identity. A brick in the house that is you, but never the major tenet. Don't identify yourself as a PUA, identitfy yourself as a writer, musician, businessman, electrician, lover, fighter, warrior, mature man, or anything else. Do not let becoming good with women be the major factor in your life. Find a higher purpose and live for that. But at the same time don't stop practicing, make socializing a part of your daily life and Become a guy who naturally attracts women. But is not defined by that.
Enough ranting off to the hot tub for me!
S
Monday, January 29, 2007
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sinn, cool post
ReplyDeletewhat do u think has to be done to reach "superstar" level, like main key things you noticed on your way to becoming great
hope you can answer it :)
thanks
I have been reading you PUAs blogs for a while (you, savoy, tenmagnet, future) and i have to say I like yours best. I can relate to what u read and it feels like you write on my level witout fancy words and understandable to the common guy! Have a good day and I will see you someday on a bootcamp
ReplyDelete// Urban
Thanks for that post - it was an outstanding point you made about crtical identity factors. I recently ran into that problem (with PU as main identity theme) due to major recent sucess only to find that when I had off nights or weeks, my state suffered big time. It is important to remember who you are at your core and ADD the PU skills arrow to your quiver.
ReplyDeleteThanks again for crystalizng that theme - it is the source of my most significant recent sticking point and you helped me find the solution that has been evading me for weeks!
any update on the sarge off with Mehow?
ReplyDeleteSting
Mehow likes girls?
ReplyDeleteSinn, great post. The success barrier idea was something I needed to hear right now. My pride can really keep me frozen in place. Not in pickup (as I have no particular belief that I'm any good at it, but I'm enjoying the rapid gains that come when you're starting at the bottom), but with other areas where my ego is keeping me from acknowledging where I really am.
One thought, though...you say don't identify yourself with pickup, but instead identify with another role like "writer, musician, businessman, electrician". But I'm wondering if even those identifications might similarly disappoint, as they are static. Your ego is still damaged if your book doesn't get published or your music doesn't sell.
Maybe the key is to identify yourself as a student of these things? ie, you might be a great electrician, but every new project will have something to teach you if you have the humility to be open to learning. Kind of like an eternal newbie mission, where the goal is not to close, but to collect more data on what happens when you meet the environment.
PU, or any definition of yourself with immediate performance feedback like sales (as opposed to parent), can automatically put your self-esteem on a roller coaster. I think it's important to have at least 3 or 4 roles in your life, like career, education, hobby or two, as well as personal development like fitness, spirituality/charity, and of course friend, relative, so that no one or two roles can define you. More important than roles, or the principles behind how you run your life, I think people have an intrinsic value. Sinn had 1 lay before the community, 8 before his first MM bootcamp, and now he's a mPUA. There are some people who are truly genetically deficient, and that should be acknowledged, but most people who lack ability can develop those under the right circumstances. Even compassion and ethics can be developed; just take a look at Oscar Schindler.
ReplyDeletehey sinn, like yr blog man. alot of PUAs build a strong identity. they're stand-up comedians, in the music business, musicians, filmmakers, "I'll get your phone number as soon as my assistant comes back with my mobile phone..." lol great stuff. but then i notice that alot these guys don't actually work in these fields professionally and spend all their time doing/teaching pick-up! i haven't been able to consolidate my identity (actually working in one these difficult fields) with the process of trying to develop PU skills. I feel as though theres a conflict in TIME, ENERGY and GOALS there. any advice on consolidating ones identity with the amount of time it takes to improve these skills?
ReplyDeleteIt shouldn't be hard to persue your dream and your game.
ReplyDeleteFuture is now getting paying comedy gigs, and teaching bootcamps, and going to college.
If he can do it so can you.
Stop being LAZY. I sympathize I am really lazy too. I still have done comedy in the last 3 weeks. I don't go more than a couple of weeks... and I'm on the road 20 days a month at least.
So figure out what steps you can realistically take every day to further your game and your dream.
We can't hold your hand every step of the way man. At some point getting the life you want is work. And no one will do it for you.
Best,
S