Real Quick Post today as I just wanted to share something I've been teaching in an advanced training class that will be helpful to some of you blog readers who are a little bit better with women.
Social Status Matters, NO ONE DENIES THIS! But unfortunately your overall social status may be much higher than your social status in the environment you're trying to pick a girl up in.
That's where this status equation comes into play, you're status in ANY Pick-up is extremely formulaic and easy to figure out/manipulate.
The Status Equation
Your status = Framing + Social Proof.
So let's break this down.
By now you should all have a basic understanding of how to frame yourself as high status (Hint it's called Attraction), there are more advanced ways of course like Name-dropping, Inside language, Correct Bragging and more. But this is a short blog post so what ya need to know is that you frame yourself through your words and actions as either high-medium-low status.
The other part is social proof or more importantly how people are reacting to you. Are people treating you like you're important? Do you know people in the environment? Etc...
Now these two can contradict and even out but combined they equal your status in any given interaction.
Kinda high level to think about in field, but interesting.
JS
Monday, January 30, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Incentive and Emotions
I watched the Freakonomics movie the other day and it got me thinking about incentives. But more than incentives it got me thinking about how in any situation in which you are trying to persuade someone there are incentives but also emotions.
An incentive is a reason, reward or benefit someone gets from taking an action or making a decision. An example of an incentive being used in pick-up is the idea of bottle service. If you have a table and bottles of alcohol women are incentivized to talk to you, or go back to your table by the idea of free alcohol and or being around guys with $$$
But with all due respect to Steven Levitt, the incentive model ignores emotions and how emotions can affect decision making.
If we were all rational like economists predict based on market models than all it would take to motivate any group of people would be the proper incentive. But as we even see in the Freakonomics sometimes incentives fall by the wayside.
In the movie there is a short part where they follow an attempt to incentivize high school freshmen into raising their grades by offering them a small amount of money around $50. They follow two kids one of whom does raise his grades the other falls prey to peer pressure.
The peer pressure in this case is the emotional incentive. In this kid's case, it's more important and valuable to hang out with his friends and skateboard then it is to get that $50. Now obviously if the incentive were higher, he may have been more diligent, but that makes an entirely different point about price point behaviors which is less interesting. The point here was that when faced with a financial incentive or an emotional incentive 50% of the kids went with the emotion. Which basically backs up one of my favorite things I say which is this:
ALL PEOPLE MAKE EMOTIONAL DECISIONS THEN USE LOGIC TO BACK THEM UP AFTER THE FACT!
So how does this relate to pick-up?
Pretty easily. Incentives do matter, so being able to demonstrate how awesome you are and how much a girl will benefit from being around you does matter. But it only matters as much not more than the emotion a girl gets from being around you. You can't just cover one side of the coin and hope to be successful.
Hope that helps,
JS
An incentive is a reason, reward or benefit someone gets from taking an action or making a decision. An example of an incentive being used in pick-up is the idea of bottle service. If you have a table and bottles of alcohol women are incentivized to talk to you, or go back to your table by the idea of free alcohol and or being around guys with $$$
But with all due respect to Steven Levitt, the incentive model ignores emotions and how emotions can affect decision making.
If we were all rational like economists predict based on market models than all it would take to motivate any group of people would be the proper incentive. But as we even see in the Freakonomics sometimes incentives fall by the wayside.
In the movie there is a short part where they follow an attempt to incentivize high school freshmen into raising their grades by offering them a small amount of money around $50. They follow two kids one of whom does raise his grades the other falls prey to peer pressure.
The peer pressure in this case is the emotional incentive. In this kid's case, it's more important and valuable to hang out with his friends and skateboard then it is to get that $50. Now obviously if the incentive were higher, he may have been more diligent, but that makes an entirely different point about price point behaviors which is less interesting. The point here was that when faced with a financial incentive or an emotional incentive 50% of the kids went with the emotion. Which basically backs up one of my favorite things I say which is this:
ALL PEOPLE MAKE EMOTIONAL DECISIONS THEN USE LOGIC TO BACK THEM UP AFTER THE FACT!
So how does this relate to pick-up?
Pretty easily. Incentives do matter, so being able to demonstrate how awesome you are and how much a girl will benefit from being around you does matter. But it only matters as much not more than the emotion a girl gets from being around you. You can't just cover one side of the coin and hope to be successful.
Hope that helps,
JS
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Why can't movers or cable companies be on time ever?
I feel as though this is a pretty simple task.
You say you're going to show up between 1-6 (an outrageous 5 hour time window) then show up somewhere in that time window.
Don't call me to squeeze me in at 12:30 because I will be getting Subway and the whole thing will become a mess.
Also I'm sure I have written this before but ALL cable/internet service providers are the worst. There literally is not one good one and I have tried them all from Time Warner to DirectTV and even some company that only exists in Miami. They all suck. Balls.
This time in bad cable guy service we were told they were coming between 1-6 (note the standard time window) and that they would call us 30 mins before they got here.
We never got a call until they had already left because we weren't there. Why weren't we there? Because it was 12:00 and our appt time (which they gave us) wasn't til 1. Then to add insult to injury, they told us they couldn't reschedule us until next Monday.
Then I yelled and was a bad customer and we got cable installed yesterday, with only minor inconvenience/incompetence.
Which brings me to my final point I want to make to big corporations: Stop rewarding people for bad behavior. In most companies that deal with the public (cell phones, hotels, cable) the only way to get them to help you is to be an asshole and make a big fuss. When you do that you get rewarded with money off your cell phone bill, room upgrades or sooner appointments.
Am I the only one who thinks this is a fucked up system that basically guarantees an adversarial relationship with customers?
What's worse is that the reason companies do this is to save money and time. They want to spend as little time as possible on each customer under the assumption that most people will just go along with shitty stuff because it's easier than making a stink which ironically is how you get what you want.
Anyway i'm just venting now, but I do think there's some point to the idea that all customer service industries need to reform their policies and practices to make things better for people who don't make a big deal out of things.
JS
You say you're going to show up between 1-6 (an outrageous 5 hour time window) then show up somewhere in that time window.
Don't call me to squeeze me in at 12:30 because I will be getting Subway and the whole thing will become a mess.
Also I'm sure I have written this before but ALL cable/internet service providers are the worst. There literally is not one good one and I have tried them all from Time Warner to DirectTV and even some company that only exists in Miami. They all suck. Balls.
This time in bad cable guy service we were told they were coming between 1-6 (note the standard time window) and that they would call us 30 mins before they got here.
We never got a call until they had already left because we weren't there. Why weren't we there? Because it was 12:00 and our appt time (which they gave us) wasn't til 1. Then to add insult to injury, they told us they couldn't reschedule us until next Monday.
Then I yelled and was a bad customer and we got cable installed yesterday, with only minor inconvenience/incompetence.
Which brings me to my final point I want to make to big corporations: Stop rewarding people for bad behavior. In most companies that deal with the public (cell phones, hotels, cable) the only way to get them to help you is to be an asshole and make a big fuss. When you do that you get rewarded with money off your cell phone bill, room upgrades or sooner appointments.
Am I the only one who thinks this is a fucked up system that basically guarantees an adversarial relationship with customers?
What's worse is that the reason companies do this is to save money and time. They want to spend as little time as possible on each customer under the assumption that most people will just go along with shitty stuff because it's easier than making a stink which ironically is how you get what you want.
Anyway i'm just venting now, but I do think there's some point to the idea that all customer service industries need to reform their policies and practices to make things better for people who don't make a big deal out of things.
JS
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
I'm Moving
Yo,
I'm moving over the next couple of days so updates will be sporadic.
But next week I want to have a special theme week with assignments and stuff for you all for free.
So check back over the next few days to hear annoying moving stories when I periodically have internet.
Talk soon,
JS
I'm moving over the next couple of days so updates will be sporadic.
But next week I want to have a special theme week with assignments and stuff for you all for free.
So check back over the next few days to hear annoying moving stories when I periodically have internet.
Talk soon,
JS
Friday, January 20, 2012
The Dennis System
The real way to pick up girls :)
And yes I am having Always Sunny withdrawal...
JS
And yes I am having Always Sunny withdrawal...
JS
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
FACT: Women Make you Stupid(er)
Yo yo,
I was surfing the depths of the interweb yesterday and found a link to a pretty awesome article that confirms something I have been thinking for a long time.
The act of merely mentioning a woman's name makes men perform worse on standardized tests. That's right just the mere mention let alone real life interaction.
Is it any wonder cold approach can sometimes feel like the hardest thing on Earth? I think not.
The article as a whole is worth a read, and you can check it and the study out:
Here
Word.
JS
I was surfing the depths of the interweb yesterday and found a link to a pretty awesome article that confirms something I have been thinking for a long time.
The act of merely mentioning a woman's name makes men perform worse on standardized tests. That's right just the mere mention let alone real life interaction.
Is it any wonder cold approach can sometimes feel like the hardest thing on Earth? I think not.
The article as a whole is worth a read, and you can check it and the study out:
Here
Word.
JS
Monday, January 16, 2012
Microexpressions and pickup
Hey there,
I have been a busy busy beaver and also a sick beaver but that's another story hence no blogging for a long time.
My bad.
In the meantime I have also been studying new things that affect game hooray!
The main thing has been the work of Dr Paul Ekman. Mostly focused on emotions and facial expressions. I highly recommend checking out his website Paulekman.com
though if you don't feel like doing that I will summarize everything and tell you how to apply it to game just because I am such a nice guy :) Or I just like to hear myself talk even if it's blog form your choice.
Dr Ekman studied a ton of different cultures including ones that had no access to the media and discovered that there are 7 different kinds of UNIVERSAL facial expressions. That means no matter who you are,you express anger, fear, surprise, disgust, sadness, happiness/enjoyment, and contempt.
SO that's the good news, the bad news is that most people don't recognize these well and that people can engage in facial deceit (GASP!!!) and conceal their intentions.
The other good news is the existence of what Dr Ekman calls "microexpressions" these are 1/25-1/5 of a second flashes of emotion that EVERYONE has that you can't conceal without extensive(like juillard trained actor type) training.
So what happens when you approach a woman is she's going to flash a microexpression. Now in a dark nightclub while sipping on some syzurp it's difficult to see these tiny flashes, but in Day game this is a game changer. With a little education, ( I recommend the SETT and METT programs (which I did both of and got score of 80% METT and 96% SETT on Ekman's site, or if you want to save some money the book "Unmasking the face" by Ekman and Dr Wallace Friedson is like $8 at any bookstore.) you can learn to identify these and know EXACTLY what the girl is feeling on most approaches. It's LITERALLY like reading her mind in the first 2-3 seconds.
So far since I've studied this stuff I've seen a micro flash on EVERY single approach I've done ranging from happy(Going out with her this week) to disgust (a blowout shockingly). But mostly girls are surprised (especially on direct when it's like 90%) which is great feedback to my advice that you need to take a step back and let the girl adjust when doing direct day game so go me!
Another place where microexpressions are super useful is in physical escalation. If you watch the girls face as you escalate, you will see a flash. This is almost freakishly consistent as well, and again gives you a great bit of information for calibration. And yes, for the record all of my escalations have gotten happy flashes.
So to summarize, Dr Ekman's work is really interesting and will help you with calibration no matter where you are. The most effective piece for pickup is microexpression which are most useful in opening (day game) and in escalating where reading the girls microexpression will give you an almost 100% accurate idea of what she is thinking.
Hope that helps,
JS- The king of content
I have been a busy busy beaver and also a sick beaver but that's another story hence no blogging for a long time.
My bad.
In the meantime I have also been studying new things that affect game hooray!
The main thing has been the work of Dr Paul Ekman. Mostly focused on emotions and facial expressions. I highly recommend checking out his website Paulekman.com
though if you don't feel like doing that I will summarize everything and tell you how to apply it to game just because I am such a nice guy :) Or I just like to hear myself talk even if it's blog form your choice.
Dr Ekman studied a ton of different cultures including ones that had no access to the media and discovered that there are 7 different kinds of UNIVERSAL facial expressions. That means no matter who you are,you express anger, fear, surprise, disgust, sadness, happiness/enjoyment, and contempt.
SO that's the good news, the bad news is that most people don't recognize these well and that people can engage in facial deceit (GASP!!!) and conceal their intentions.
The other good news is the existence of what Dr Ekman calls "microexpressions" these are 1/25-1/5 of a second flashes of emotion that EVERYONE has that you can't conceal without extensive(like juillard trained actor type) training.
So what happens when you approach a woman is she's going to flash a microexpression. Now in a dark nightclub while sipping on some syzurp it's difficult to see these tiny flashes, but in Day game this is a game changer. With a little education, ( I recommend the SETT and METT programs (which I did both of and got score of 80% METT and 96% SETT on Ekman's site, or if you want to save some money the book "Unmasking the face" by Ekman and Dr Wallace Friedson is like $8 at any bookstore.) you can learn to identify these and know EXACTLY what the girl is feeling on most approaches. It's LITERALLY like reading her mind in the first 2-3 seconds.
So far since I've studied this stuff I've seen a micro flash on EVERY single approach I've done ranging from happy(Going out with her this week) to disgust (a blowout shockingly). But mostly girls are surprised (especially on direct when it's like 90%) which is great feedback to my advice that you need to take a step back and let the girl adjust when doing direct day game so go me!
Another place where microexpressions are super useful is in physical escalation. If you watch the girls face as you escalate, you will see a flash. This is almost freakishly consistent as well, and again gives you a great bit of information for calibration. And yes, for the record all of my escalations have gotten happy flashes.
So to summarize, Dr Ekman's work is really interesting and will help you with calibration no matter where you are. The most effective piece for pickup is microexpression which are most useful in opening (day game) and in escalating where reading the girls microexpression will give you an almost 100% accurate idea of what she is thinking.
Hope that helps,
JS- The king of content
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The Sky is Not Falling Again: On The Possibility of A Game Movie
The only Game movie that should get made is an in-depth look at all of Neil Strauss' various lies, embellishments and blowharding.
Instead it looks like MAYBE a movie will be made next year and already people are writing stupid posts about it and worrying that the world of talking to girls is coming to an end.
Fact: No one cares about the seduction community. The book did the rounds in 2005 and for a few months you might have had a girl or two ask about opinion openers other than that the result of all of Neil's publicity was nada.
Fact: LOTS of movies get bought and optioned and yet don't end up as major releases. Chances are (I know statistics and probabilities are hard for your brain) the movie won't even end up happening. I personally have a friend who wrote and sold a movie in 06 they have been trying to cast for 5 years and supposedly that is coming out this year.
Possible Fact: No one actually teaches the same shit from 2005 right??? I mean I know I don't and I'd be shocked if anyone other than Mystery was still teaching negs etc...
So seriously don't worry about it. Instead worry about getting out there and talking to women rather than finding ANY excuse under the sun not to which is what all of you talking about this movie are doing.
LOSERS.
JS
Instead it looks like MAYBE a movie will be made next year and already people are writing stupid posts about it and worrying that the world of talking to girls is coming to an end.
Fact: No one cares about the seduction community. The book did the rounds in 2005 and for a few months you might have had a girl or two ask about opinion openers other than that the result of all of Neil's publicity was nada.
Fact: LOTS of movies get bought and optioned and yet don't end up as major releases. Chances are (I know statistics and probabilities are hard for your brain) the movie won't even end up happening. I personally have a friend who wrote and sold a movie in 06 they have been trying to cast for 5 years and supposedly that is coming out this year.
Possible Fact: No one actually teaches the same shit from 2005 right??? I mean I know I don't and I'd be shocked if anyone other than Mystery was still teaching negs etc...
So seriously don't worry about it. Instead worry about getting out there and talking to women rather than finding ANY excuse under the sun not to which is what all of you talking about this movie are doing.
LOSERS.
JS
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Reasonable VS Unreasonable Goals
This is sort of a New Year's post, call it semi-New Yearish...
I go back and forth a lot between whether I think it's good for guys to set reasonable or unreasonable goals.
The basic discussion comes down to this:
With reasonable goals you are MUCH MUCH more likely to achieve and therefore feel better about yourself and improve your life.
With unreasonable goals you have a MUCH MUCH MUCH worse chance of achieving these goals, however they may help you to reach higher than you would have with more reasonable goals.
So what's a guy to do?
Personally I only set realistic goals at this point of my life. It's fun to sit around and think of all these amazing situations but IME you just end getting pissed off because you won't be able to achieve the goal easily and most people (myself included) don't have the perseverance necessary to keep going through failure after failure after failure.
So my final official take is this:
If you're going to set goals, be realistic. It is not relaistic to think you will go from NEVER talking to girls to getting 4 Same Night Lays a month in 3 months. It is not realistic to expect yourself to be trying to get laid during your first few approaches etc.
The more realistic your goals are the higher the chances that you will make actual progress towards them and improve your life. Unrealistic goals have another name I like to call them; fantasies.
JS
I go back and forth a lot between whether I think it's good for guys to set reasonable or unreasonable goals.
The basic discussion comes down to this:
With reasonable goals you are MUCH MUCH more likely to achieve and therefore feel better about yourself and improve your life.
With unreasonable goals you have a MUCH MUCH MUCH worse chance of achieving these goals, however they may help you to reach higher than you would have with more reasonable goals.
So what's a guy to do?
Personally I only set realistic goals at this point of my life. It's fun to sit around and think of all these amazing situations but IME you just end getting pissed off because you won't be able to achieve the goal easily and most people (myself included) don't have the perseverance necessary to keep going through failure after failure after failure.
So my final official take is this:
If you're going to set goals, be realistic. It is not relaistic to think you will go from NEVER talking to girls to getting 4 Same Night Lays a month in 3 months. It is not realistic to expect yourself to be trying to get laid during your first few approaches etc.
The more realistic your goals are the higher the chances that you will make actual progress towards them and improve your life. Unrealistic goals have another name I like to call them; fantasies.
JS
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
It's been awhile...
I'm not dead.
Just been lazy and busy with other crap over the holidays.
But I'm back now and looking forward to doing a lot of posting 2012.
But first I need to go finish this week's Sexual Triggers video and work on a couple of other projects. And I should really go to the gym.
I'll post another re-visiting article sometime this week and content will return to normal starting tomor.
Hope everyone had a good NYE.
JS
Just been lazy and busy with other crap over the holidays.
But I'm back now and looking forward to doing a lot of posting 2012.
But first I need to go finish this week's Sexual Triggers video and work on a couple of other projects. And I should really go to the gym.
I'll post another re-visiting article sometime this week and content will return to normal starting tomor.
Hope everyone had a good NYE.
JS