Hey guys,
It's been a crazy busy last few weeks. Since the last update I've had a couple of crazy adventures. A few of which are still ongoing so you'll have to wait to hear about those.Suffice it to say it involves a double lay with a Z list celebrity involved. Keep an eye out for that later this week.
I haven't talked much about what I've been up to the last few weeks. Basically since finishing the lay reports book, I've been stymied business wise by a terrible web development company,I found on Elance. It's been 3 months of them trying to get my site up and so far, nada. Savoy keeps telling me this is pretty normal in dealing with IT people, but I want to put my face through a TV screen. Or someone else's face as that would probably hurt :) So in the meantime I've been really annoyed by the general state of teaching and learning in the community. There are a bunch of things that EVERYONE can do to get better with women fast! But you have to be able to recognize your own unique advantages and disadvantages and work on developing a plan of success for yourself. Not someone else. Anyway I ended up writing about 40 pages last week and I will be releasing it for free soon. I think this is going to change the way a lot of people think about learning game and consistently improving.This stuff is a huge reason I always get better each year, while others gurus stay the same....
I've been all over the US lately, I was in NY for two weeks during which I filmed an episode of Infield Insider( Brillantly in NY on Labor day weekend when everyone was in the Hamptons. I'm retarded.) and worked with a few students out there. Then I came back to Dallas, before I went down to San Diego to record the breakdown of the in field stuff with Mehow. I have to say I was totally wrong about Mehow. I had a lot of fun shooting and talking game with him. He's extremely smart and knowledgable. In fact I recently finished the first volume of his Group Attraction Manifesto which takes breaking down subcommunication to a totally different level. One of the things that stands out about Mehow is his positivity. He's one of the most positive people I've ever met. I actually asked him about it and he told me he often gets told he's delusionally positive. Delusional or not, it's a really great way of being. We ended up having some drinks, almost getting beaten up in a dive bar and then grabbing some Denny's. Overall a really fun night that I never could have imagined having a few years ago.
You can check out the Infield Insider:
Here
I'm gonna film another one next year, at some point too.
Then I headed back to Dallas for the weekend where I went to Sunday Night Football with some friends. I'm 2 for 2 the last times I've gone out to watch football. Which just goes to show that the more you try to find avenues to meet girls you enjoy, the better you're results will get. The first time I wrote about in the BJR I posted awhile back and this time I ended up making out with both girls and taking one of them home. Then I went on a date with the other one last Tues. She's a weird Z list celeb so I'll write all about that when I get home. The date alone deserves it's own post for the wackiness of the situation. Then I headed down to Miami to work with one of my long term coaching students. He's been making huge progress. We worked on day game in South Beach, which as my buddy Trance noted " was like taking a rookie to the Super Bowl." He did great though and got a couple numbers despite being very inexperienced with day game.
I hate Miami a lot, but I have to admit it's probably the best place in the world for doing cold approach. The only places with girls of comparable hotness are Vegas and Stockholm. Vegas is an SNL town which is cool but you'd have a hard time retaining girls since almost everyone you meet will be a tourist. or stripper :) Stockholm can't even begin to compete in the weather department or the sheer size of the city. However Miami is still an unlivable cesspool of pretentious people, superficiality, and general douche-baggery. South Beach still looks like something out of the 70s. The pastel colors and bungalows come straight out of Grand Theft Auto. In fact it still feels like the guy from Vice City is gonna run up on you every time you're on the streets. I like a lot of the venues, but most of the weeknight hot spots are still home to the asshole door guy. It's funny because no matter how big the city there's still a core of club people. You'll always see the same people out on the same nights of the week, promoters and door guys will switch clubs, even bartenders swing between a couple of places a night. This is good news because if you're setting up a social circle, you don't need to befriend everyone, just the right people. That's a huge thing most people miss when they're trying to get their social circles together.
Once my one on one was over I headed up to NY to wrap up some filming on a project Julian Foxx and I are doing together. I met Julian the last time I was here and we really hit it off. We decided to film some stuff and we'll both be talking about that soon enough.
I got in Saturday afternoon and had set up a "sex date" with a girl I met the last time I was here a few weeks ago. I met her when I was out with Fader and a girl he was seeing in Hoboken. I actually had started off trying to hit on another of her friends(a redhead) before I found out she wasn't actually with the guy she was all over. She told me they were brother and sister, which later turned out not to be true. She's a pretty interesting girl. Very into the fetish scene but also a very successful health food store owner... We really hit it off that night, but she had to drive her "brother" home. I blew her off a few time to go out with Fader but kept in touch with her through text. She's ultra sexual and I'm pretty sure she was a stripper at some point judging by the way she danced. So we decided to set up a sex date for Sat night. She even told me she'd have to get rid of her date so she couldn't do anything til after 11. Turns out she had a ton of drama with her ex and ended up going drinking with her "brother". So I roll up to meet them at about 12:30 PM. The "brother" is a really cool guy in a fucked up situation, he's married to a woman he doesn't really love and they have a kid. He's also hooking up with my girl's friend. So he's got a ton of drama as well. I just sit and listen. He tells me he approved of me when we met because I was funny. I always like people better when they think I'm funny :) Anyway he has to go home so he dropped us off at her place. At which point she wanted to dance, so we head to a dance place. I informed her that I don't dance, but rather have seizures to music, and she tells me that's good because she'll have something to hold onto. We go, grind, and makeout with ice. Escalating with ice is a huge sexual suggestion, it assumes the sale and shows you know what women respond to sexually. Finally she looks at me and says " ready to go?". On the ride home she drives straight back to her place and then as we're pulling up, she says " OMG, I didn't even ask you if you wanted to come back here. That's rude of me." I told her it was ok and she just assumed the sell. We go upstairs she shows me her dog and then we both take showers before sex. One weird note is she had an IUD which was very strange and unexpected. Luckily she warned me about it, or I would have freaked out. I didn't get to bed until about 9 AM after she brought me back before going to work.
Yesterday I watched a lot of football,so if you don't like sports you can skip the rest of this post. But I feel like ranting a bit. First the Brett Favre 6 TD game should really be called the Kurt Warner 787 turnover game. Kurt Warner does this EVERY year, he looks great for 2-3 weeks people start writing the " Kurt Warner is better at 36,37,38,39 than he was at 26, 27,28, 29.... Not true. Kurt Warner has a bad hand. He's had it since St Louis when he gets hit and starts holding it, he's gonna fumble. Then he's gonna throw picks and then he's gonna make sad faces and talk about Jesus in a postgame conference.
The Eagles sure did a great job of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. This further proves that Donovan Mcnabb is the least clutch quarterback ever. People marveled when the Eagles got to 3 straight NFC championships, but forgot to notice that Mcnabb kept stinking the joint up and losing to teams like the Panthers. Then the infamous Superbowl dry heave issue. And again last night he throws a Favrian pick late in the game.
Finally the Cowboys lost for the first time, making me very happy. A because I didn't want to hear Cowboys fans talking about a perfect season. Though the idea of Tony Romo quarterbacking a 14-0 team and fans hyperventilating every time he drops back does sound delicious. The NFC East is pretty ridiculous. The Redskins looked pretty decent last night even though Romo helped them quite a bit. I really want Jason Campbell to be good. Last night it looked like he was starting to grasp the west coast offense. Plus Clinton Portis is probably the most underrated guy in the league right now. He just consistently gains yards on the ground and through the air. Plus he wears awesome wigs.
Allright, I'm ranted out.
Talk to ya guys soon.
S
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
I'm on Barry's show again bitches!
I was on Barry's show again on Wednesday night. We talked a lot of shit about Neil(fakest motherfucker on Earth) Strauss and I tried to get Janene to tell us about sex with her blind fiancee.
For those that don't know Barry's show has really hit another level comically lately and it's been laugh til it hurts funny. Especially with some of the latest guests. I'm hopefully going to be on at least once a week from now on as a guest so check that shit out.
Click soon before it's down
S
For those that don't know Barry's show has really hit another level comically lately and it's been laugh til it hurts funny. Especially with some of the latest guests. I'm hopefully going to be on at least once a week from now on as a guest so check that shit out.
Click soon before it's down
S
BJR: She left with another guy...
This actually happened on Monday night.
Last Monday myself, Speer and CJ headed down to a local sports bar to watch the Cowboys play the Eagles on MNF. There's a great bar in Dallas where hot girls actually go to watch football. I know it's weird. It's actually pretty annoying because you have to get there around 2 hours before kickoff to get a good table. So we get there, eat, wait for CJ and watch the game. While there I notice two girls who were Maxim level hot. Ridiculous. The only problem was they were across the patio with no path to walk over to them as they at a table behind a table. Finally one of them gets up to go to the bathroom and I open her direct. She says thank you and walks off. Swing and a miss. Oh well it was the only chance I had and I took it. So I feel pretty good about that.
Then after the game which the Eagles choked away, as Mcnabb had shades of Superbowls past. we head up to one of the social circle venues in Dallas. It's always got hot girls, the approach angles are terrible and there's a lot of dudes. I'm walking around talking to some girls when I see a very cute short girl with big tits in a texas tech shirt. She looks like she's in what i call "frisky" mode as she's walking around talking to a bunch of guys and flirting with them as they walk by. She touches CJ's face and he tells her it'll cost her a dollar. As she walks away I claw her in and tell her she's adorable. She's all over me. She starts telling me I'm sexy and pulling my shirt up in the middle of the club. My mind says extract. So I grab her by the hand and tell her we're taking a walk. She says she wants to grind me against a wall. I say outside.
I get her outside with minimal resistance as I just lead and go for it. The key to In venue lays is having the balls to keep going for it. Just move them out of the club and try to escalate the first private place you find. I find a a little corner behind a Chili's and push her against the wall. Makeout. Shirt off tits out. And pants down. as she's blowing me a car drives by and some black girls laugh at us. I move her further into the little alley. We finish up and I take her back inside. She buys me a drink and then tells me she's going to find her friends and to wait for her. I figure I'll try to pull another girl so I wander off and talk to some other girls. I also feel no approach anxiety as I actually did just get a blowjob.
I run into her on the dance floor an hour later and she's now obviously drunk. she's all over a couple of guys. I leave as I already got mine and this girl seems weird. Then I'm standing with CJ when I see her grinding and making out with a bald guy. I start cracking up until CJ tells me that I've probably made out with a girl who just blew some guy in the parking lot too. I choose to ignore this as it can't help me :)
Later in the night I saw the guy actually pull the girl, so kudos to him. And her for doing two guys in one night. Impressive.
Not really a lot of information in here except that girls will do incredibly slutty things. Which is good information to know.
S
Last Monday myself, Speer and CJ headed down to a local sports bar to watch the Cowboys play the Eagles on MNF. There's a great bar in Dallas where hot girls actually go to watch football. I know it's weird. It's actually pretty annoying because you have to get there around 2 hours before kickoff to get a good table. So we get there, eat, wait for CJ and watch the game. While there I notice two girls who were Maxim level hot. Ridiculous. The only problem was they were across the patio with no path to walk over to them as they at a table behind a table. Finally one of them gets up to go to the bathroom and I open her direct. She says thank you and walks off. Swing and a miss. Oh well it was the only chance I had and I took it. So I feel pretty good about that.
Then after the game which the Eagles choked away, as Mcnabb had shades of Superbowls past. we head up to one of the social circle venues in Dallas. It's always got hot girls, the approach angles are terrible and there's a lot of dudes. I'm walking around talking to some girls when I see a very cute short girl with big tits in a texas tech shirt. She looks like she's in what i call "frisky" mode as she's walking around talking to a bunch of guys and flirting with them as they walk by. She touches CJ's face and he tells her it'll cost her a dollar. As she walks away I claw her in and tell her she's adorable. She's all over me. She starts telling me I'm sexy and pulling my shirt up in the middle of the club. My mind says extract. So I grab her by the hand and tell her we're taking a walk. She says she wants to grind me against a wall. I say outside.
I get her outside with minimal resistance as I just lead and go for it. The key to In venue lays is having the balls to keep going for it. Just move them out of the club and try to escalate the first private place you find. I find a a little corner behind a Chili's and push her against the wall. Makeout. Shirt off tits out. And pants down. as she's blowing me a car drives by and some black girls laugh at us. I move her further into the little alley. We finish up and I take her back inside. She buys me a drink and then tells me she's going to find her friends and to wait for her. I figure I'll try to pull another girl so I wander off and talk to some other girls. I also feel no approach anxiety as I actually did just get a blowjob.
I run into her on the dance floor an hour later and she's now obviously drunk. she's all over a couple of guys. I leave as I already got mine and this girl seems weird. Then I'm standing with CJ when I see her grinding and making out with a bald guy. I start cracking up until CJ tells me that I've probably made out with a girl who just blew some guy in the parking lot too. I choose to ignore this as it can't help me :)
Later in the night I saw the guy actually pull the girl, so kudos to him. And her for doing two guys in one night. Impressive.
Not really a lot of information in here except that girls will do incredibly slutty things. Which is good information to know.
S
Saturday, September 13, 2008
12 cities in 12 months
So next year I'll be moving out of Dallas and spending one month in 12 different cities. I'm writing a book about the experience of setting up a life 12 different times in different cities. I've also put together a list of 30 things to do in each city and I'll record my hijinks as I'm sure each month will see me scrambling to do 10-15 activities in the last few days of the month. Vegas has me completing all the tasks in a timely fashion as a 30-1 prayer.
I'll be teaching one bootcamp a month in each city to0 and we'll have details about that as it gets closer.
The cities in order are:
April:Chicago
May: Toronto
June:Montreal
July:Las Vegas
August:SF
Sept:NY
Oct:Boston
Nov:Whistler BC
Dec:Hawaii
Jan:Denver
Feb:Scottsdale
Mar:Sydney
Here's a list of frequently asked questions from my friends and family.
Why would anyone do this?
Well as much as I love Dallas, I'm pretty bored of it scenes here. I'll always look back fondly on my time here, but quite frankly I'm over it. And as everyone who goes out with me knows, I run into a LOT of girls I've already had sex with.
So I decided I wanted to leave Dallas and I have no idea where I want to live. One of the major problems is that I'm a huge pussy about weather. I hate the cold. A lot. Unfortunately a lot of my favorite cities, like Boston, NY, and Toronto are freezing in the winter. So I don't really know where I want to live. Because of my job I'm afforded the opportunity to work from anywhere and I'd like to investigate a bunch of cities to see if there might just be one that fits me perfectly. I'm even willing to reach internationally as I'll be in 3 cities in Canada and 1 in Australia. I Think of it as the hunt for the perfect city.
Secondly because of my social skills, I can make friends and get girls anywhere I can speak the language, so within a week I'll have something set up on that front everywhere.But I'll get exposed to a broad range of people. If there's one thing my time in Texas taught me it's the huge cultural and personality differences that geography causes. Maybe the people I get along with the best are in Whistler B.C or Chicago, who knows?
Third because I've been a traveling vagabond pick up artist for the last 4 years, I'm used to living out of a suitcase. Life on the longer term road in each of these cities will be a pretty easy adjustment because I've been to all of them for some amount of time and I'm used to getting adjusted to a city over 3-4 days as opposed to 30. I've been saying for a few years that because of the way I travel I should save the money on an Apt and just stay with friends or at hotels. This is a better idea than that was.
What are you going to do with all your stuff?
I'll probably give away a decent amount of it and then put the rest in storage. I might get rid of all of it to make some spending money for the trip.
Why did you pick those cities?
I sat down and thought of the cities I could realistically see myself living in. That meant no LA, Miami, Austin etc... Then I thought about the cities that I always have a great time in, or that have awesome activities that I always complain about not doing enough. Hence Denver,Whistler and Honolulu. I didn't really take into account the economics of the city or whether or not I knew people there. Finally I scheduled them so I could avoid as much cold weather as possible without the benefit of snowboarding.
Won't it be hard to leave every city after each month if you make friends and stuff?
Not really since everyone who meets me will know I'm only there for 30 days. I'm not gonna lie about it or anything like that. The people I really click with I'll stay in touch with and ultimately I'll end up with a whole bunch of new friends across the globe.
Where are you going to live.
I spent a few months watching different sites and found a huge amount of affordable month long furnished sublets. Not a problem. I even figured out which areas I want to live in each city. Logistics handled.
Won't you need your car?
No. I'm selling my car before I leave and almost every city on the list with the possible exceptions of Denver and Scottsdale are pretty pedestrian friendly, as long as I get a place in the right area of town. If I need to I'll rent a car for a month at some point along the way.
How will you pay bills and get mail and stuff?
I'll still keep my mailbox for Sinn's Of Attraction and I'm setting all my bills up on auto pay. If I don't have cable or internet anywhere for a month I'll make due with one of those Verizon internet card dealies and Hulu.com
Why are you writing a book about it?
I think it's going to be a hugely memorable experience that I'll learn a lot from, and I want to document it. I will try to sell it to an actual publisher, but we all know how the chances of that working go. More than anything I want to do this for myself and have a written record of that crazy year I kept moving. I'm sure there will be some game related stuff in there cause that's how my brain works but it's mostly going to be my experiences, and I'd like to have those forever.
When are you starting?
My lease in Dallas runs out in late March around the 22nd so I'm looking to begin April 1st in Chicago. I'm very excited.
I'll keep you guys up to date about it through the blog and my email list which I'll only be sharing the game related insights with.
I posted this to give myself some public accountability for doing this and in case any of you guys might find it fun.
Best,
S
I'll be teaching one bootcamp a month in each city to0 and we'll have details about that as it gets closer.
The cities in order are:
April:Chicago
May: Toronto
June:Montreal
July:Las Vegas
August:SF
Sept:NY
Oct:Boston
Nov:Whistler BC
Dec:Hawaii
Jan:Denver
Feb:Scottsdale
Mar:Sydney
Here's a list of frequently asked questions from my friends and family.
Why would anyone do this?
Well as much as I love Dallas, I'm pretty bored of it scenes here. I'll always look back fondly on my time here, but quite frankly I'm over it. And as everyone who goes out with me knows, I run into a LOT of girls I've already had sex with.
So I decided I wanted to leave Dallas and I have no idea where I want to live. One of the major problems is that I'm a huge pussy about weather. I hate the cold. A lot. Unfortunately a lot of my favorite cities, like Boston, NY, and Toronto are freezing in the winter. So I don't really know where I want to live. Because of my job I'm afforded the opportunity to work from anywhere and I'd like to investigate a bunch of cities to see if there might just be one that fits me perfectly. I'm even willing to reach internationally as I'll be in 3 cities in Canada and 1 in Australia. I Think of it as the hunt for the perfect city.
Secondly because of my social skills, I can make friends and get girls anywhere I can speak the language, so within a week I'll have something set up on that front everywhere.But I'll get exposed to a broad range of people. If there's one thing my time in Texas taught me it's the huge cultural and personality differences that geography causes. Maybe the people I get along with the best are in Whistler B.C or Chicago, who knows?
Third because I've been a traveling vagabond pick up artist for the last 4 years, I'm used to living out of a suitcase. Life on the longer term road in each of these cities will be a pretty easy adjustment because I've been to all of them for some amount of time and I'm used to getting adjusted to a city over 3-4 days as opposed to 30. I've been saying for a few years that because of the way I travel I should save the money on an Apt and just stay with friends or at hotels. This is a better idea than that was.
What are you going to do with all your stuff?
I'll probably give away a decent amount of it and then put the rest in storage. I might get rid of all of it to make some spending money for the trip.
Why did you pick those cities?
I sat down and thought of the cities I could realistically see myself living in. That meant no LA, Miami, Austin etc... Then I thought about the cities that I always have a great time in, or that have awesome activities that I always complain about not doing enough. Hence Denver,Whistler and Honolulu. I didn't really take into account the economics of the city or whether or not I knew people there. Finally I scheduled them so I could avoid as much cold weather as possible without the benefit of snowboarding.
Won't it be hard to leave every city after each month if you make friends and stuff?
Not really since everyone who meets me will know I'm only there for 30 days. I'm not gonna lie about it or anything like that. The people I really click with I'll stay in touch with and ultimately I'll end up with a whole bunch of new friends across the globe.
Where are you going to live.
I spent a few months watching different sites and found a huge amount of affordable month long furnished sublets. Not a problem. I even figured out which areas I want to live in each city. Logistics handled.
Won't you need your car?
No. I'm selling my car before I leave and almost every city on the list with the possible exceptions of Denver and Scottsdale are pretty pedestrian friendly, as long as I get a place in the right area of town. If I need to I'll rent a car for a month at some point along the way.
How will you pay bills and get mail and stuff?
I'll still keep my mailbox for Sinn's Of Attraction and I'm setting all my bills up on auto pay. If I don't have cable or internet anywhere for a month I'll make due with one of those Verizon internet card dealies and Hulu.com
Why are you writing a book about it?
I think it's going to be a hugely memorable experience that I'll learn a lot from, and I want to document it. I will try to sell it to an actual publisher, but we all know how the chances of that working go. More than anything I want to do this for myself and have a written record of that crazy year I kept moving. I'm sure there will be some game related stuff in there cause that's how my brain works but it's mostly going to be my experiences, and I'd like to have those forever.
When are you starting?
My lease in Dallas runs out in late March around the 22nd so I'm looking to begin April 1st in Chicago. I'm very excited.
I'll keep you guys up to date about it through the blog and my email list which I'll only be sharing the game related insights with.
I posted this to give myself some public accountability for doing this and in case any of you guys might find it fun.
Best,
S
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The 5 Immutable Laws Of Pick Up
Hooray hyperbolic titles!!!
Anyway here's a bit of what i teach on bootcamps. These are things that I think come as close as possible to being 100% true when picking girls up.
1. Ignore anything which cannot help you get the girl. This is the heart of being non-reactive, dealing with social pressure, whatever you wanna call it. You have to learn to ignore things, be they congruence tests or guys entering your sets. If it doesn't help you, it's useless and not worth giving attention to.
2. Always be cooler than the girl. Even if it's just .001% you always have to act as if you think she's not as cool as you. This can take the form of teasing, commanding, or simply not explaining yourself. Girls are just not evolutionarily programmed to be attracted to guys of equal or lesser status. It sucks but it's the way the world works.
3. ABC. Or always be closing as my buddy Entropy would say. As a man you must take all responsibility for escalation. From physically escalating to maintaining plausible deniability with her friends. Everything is up to you. Men are sexually aggressive, women are sexually receptive.
4. Saying something is better than saying nothing. When you see a girl you want to approach it is WAY easier to go in and mess it up than to sit around debating the different ways you could do it. Give yourself permission to fail. Because even trying puts you ahead of 99% of guys.
5. Thinking in field is the enemy. I always say " less thinking, more making moves." Which besides being a line I stole from a Dave Chapelle stand up special, applies to pick up perfectly. Thinking is the worst thing you can be doing when you're out. Actually maybe it's the second worst after talking about game. Instead let go of the outcome, recognize that you are on the plateau as George Leonard calls it in Mastery and put in the work. Do approaches, get blown out, learn. That's the only point of going out to game. Not to oggle and complain about how all the sets are too hard.
So those are my five rules of pick up. If you stick to those you should be off to a good start in your learning process.
S
Anyway here's a bit of what i teach on bootcamps. These are things that I think come as close as possible to being 100% true when picking girls up.
1. Ignore anything which cannot help you get the girl. This is the heart of being non-reactive, dealing with social pressure, whatever you wanna call it. You have to learn to ignore things, be they congruence tests or guys entering your sets. If it doesn't help you, it's useless and not worth giving attention to.
2. Always be cooler than the girl. Even if it's just .001% you always have to act as if you think she's not as cool as you. This can take the form of teasing, commanding, or simply not explaining yourself. Girls are just not evolutionarily programmed to be attracted to guys of equal or lesser status. It sucks but it's the way the world works.
3. ABC. Or always be closing as my buddy Entropy would say. As a man you must take all responsibility for escalation. From physically escalating to maintaining plausible deniability with her friends. Everything is up to you. Men are sexually aggressive, women are sexually receptive.
4. Saying something is better than saying nothing. When you see a girl you want to approach it is WAY easier to go in and mess it up than to sit around debating the different ways you could do it. Give yourself permission to fail. Because even trying puts you ahead of 99% of guys.
5. Thinking in field is the enemy. I always say " less thinking, more making moves." Which besides being a line I stole from a Dave Chapelle stand up special, applies to pick up perfectly. Thinking is the worst thing you can be doing when you're out. Actually maybe it's the second worst after talking about game. Instead let go of the outcome, recognize that you are on the plateau as George Leonard calls it in Mastery and put in the work. Do approaches, get blown out, learn. That's the only point of going out to game. Not to oggle and complain about how all the sets are too hard.
So those are my five rules of pick up. If you stick to those you should be off to a good start in your learning process.
S
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Cameron Teone's Blog
Cam's a good friend of mine and he recently started a blog.
His first post was a great refresher on the fundamental skills that make up game.
Check it out Here
S
His first post was a great refresher on the fundamental skills that make up game.
Check it out Here
S
Thursday, September 04, 2008
My official take on rating girls
Ok, so I got a comment from a reader named a concerned woman or something like that about how rating women was judging them.
I'm pretty sure I've written about this publicly before, I just think it was on a forum somewhere.So I wanted to clarify my take on this retarded process.
First I don't rate girls in my personal or professional life. There are many reasons for this, the biggest being that supposedly rating girls allows you to quantify how they are going to respond to you, yet you NEVER know how a girl is going to react to being approached. I've met incredibly beautiful women who were sweet and open to being approached, and I've met hideous women who were not. There's just no way to tell, so there's no point in rating. The second problem I have with rating women is that it's horribly demeaning to the women who are being rated as they are being reduced strictly to a number. And this comes from a guy who details his sexual exploits in detail on the internet. The last problem with rating girls comes from the fact that EVERYONE has different taste. Do you think a 6ft tall thin, flat chested runway model is hot? I wouldn't even approach that girl. I'd be far more interested in the 5'3 stripper looking girl with tats and piercings. Now some girls are universally attractive, but they are much more the exception than the rule. So people like Mystery, and Hawaii waste their time arguing about whether a girl was a 9 or a 9.25. 4 years later I still have no fucking idea how you award a quarter of a point of hotness..
I really do hate the process of rating girls as anyone on my bootcamp can attest when I stare blankly at students when they ask me to rate a girl beyond a " she's hot" or "she's ok." I'd go so far as to say it's even borderline misogyny. So I highly recommend that everyone gets rid of this arcane and insulting process to help us foster healthy win/win relationships with women, whether it's just for a night or a lifetime.
S
I'm pretty sure I've written about this publicly before, I just think it was on a forum somewhere.So I wanted to clarify my take on this retarded process.
First I don't rate girls in my personal or professional life. There are many reasons for this, the biggest being that supposedly rating girls allows you to quantify how they are going to respond to you, yet you NEVER know how a girl is going to react to being approached. I've met incredibly beautiful women who were sweet and open to being approached, and I've met hideous women who were not. There's just no way to tell, so there's no point in rating. The second problem I have with rating women is that it's horribly demeaning to the women who are being rated as they are being reduced strictly to a number. And this comes from a guy who details his sexual exploits in detail on the internet. The last problem with rating girls comes from the fact that EVERYONE has different taste. Do you think a 6ft tall thin, flat chested runway model is hot? I wouldn't even approach that girl. I'd be far more interested in the 5'3 stripper looking girl with tats and piercings. Now some girls are universally attractive, but they are much more the exception than the rule. So people like Mystery, and Hawaii waste their time arguing about whether a girl was a 9 or a 9.25. 4 years later I still have no fucking idea how you award a quarter of a point of hotness..
I really do hate the process of rating girls as anyone on my bootcamp can attest when I stare blankly at students when they ask me to rate a girl beyond a " she's hot" or "she's ok." I'd go so far as to say it's even borderline misogyny. So I highly recommend that everyone gets rid of this arcane and insulting process to help us foster healthy win/win relationships with women, whether it's just for a night or a lifetime.
S
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Social Pressure Lock up
Social pressure is that voice in the back of your head that tells you not to do things. The feeling inside your body, when you're acting in a way that's outside the permissions and behaviors you allow yourself to act through. Most people feel social pressure when doing things like talking too loudly or vulgarly in a restaurant or elevator, approaching strangers, dancing in public, getting rejected in front of people, getting embarrassed etc... Social pressure is the way that social anxiety works it's magic. The more social anxiety you have, the lower your tolerance will be to social pressure. All of this excludes actual medical problems, which should be treated with a visit to the Dr's office, not a seduction blog. Taking that into account, there are a lot of different social situations that can cause us to lock up socially and not have full grasp of our facilities and or seduction knowledge,such as...
Lock up when social pressure is applied involving competition with other guys. This is one of the most common ones and something I dealt with. This is the feeling of not wanting to outrightly game the girl in front of another guy for fear of a confrontation, or getting made fun of, or feeling bad because you lost the girl.It causes you to sit there like a chode instead of manning up and trying to get the girl back.The solution is to re-frame the situation in your head as not being social pressure, but being friendly and adding value. Then systematically applying techniques once you've established rapport with the guys. This is where a simple question like " How do you guys all know each other?" or " How did you all meet?" can go a pretty long way to establishing who's available and who's not. Then it's crucial that you learn to avoid competitive frames. It's not important who she likes more, it's only important to find out if she likes you. Try to ignore the fact that the other guy is even there, if they aren't dating. A lot of people think you have to try to attract mixed groups first, but as AFC Adam talks about the truth is you have to establish comfort first. Meaning that they want to have a conversation with you before anything else. You can retroactively cause attraction once the comfort is there.
Approach Anxiety is another sort of lock up. You see the girl, you clearly feel a want to approach her, and yet your legs stay rooted in place. You've memorized your openers and have a great idea on what to say to tease her, but you still don't approach. For whatever reason the social pressure of having to approach a stranger shuts down your control over your own body. There are a ton of ways to deal with approach anxiety from getting into state, to dealing with inner game issues, to alcohol. But the point is that AA is one of the most common types of lock up due to social pressure. I know it's related to social pressure because it is scarier to approach larger/mixed sets than it is to approach all girl two sets. I've never had a student who has asked if he can just stick to mixed 8 sets :) The more people, the more social pressure , the bigger chance of lock up... Like, I don't know stage fright.
Some people also lock up in situations of intense negative social repurcussions such as an exercise Moxie came up with where you say the most offensive thing possible and then try to recover from it. Now we can rationalize that instead of doing this social pressure experiment, you could just approach the women you are attracted to every time and play every set as hard as you could, which would lead to better results. But you still lack the social freedom to do whatever you want to amuse yourself.
Desensitization to social pressure is the most common route which allows you to build up to things that are more intense than approaching those sets so that your body starts to function normally in those situations. Because there is a physical as well as a mental component at play here. The physical component can feel like melting ice in your chest, butterflies in your stomach, a heaviness in your limbs, inability to speak or control your vocal cadence etc... But it stems from something called your anterior cruciate cortex. A part of your brain that reacts to social pressure with something very close to physical pain. It's not all in your head. That's the good news. The other good news is that by systematically exposing yourself to more and more social pressure, you feel it less and less. Like a Muy Thai kickboxer who whips his shins with bamboo to deaden the nerves, you can burn out your social pressure sensors preventing lockup and increasing your game exponentially.
S
Lock up when social pressure is applied involving competition with other guys. This is one of the most common ones and something I dealt with. This is the feeling of not wanting to outrightly game the girl in front of another guy for fear of a confrontation, or getting made fun of, or feeling bad because you lost the girl.It causes you to sit there like a chode instead of manning up and trying to get the girl back.The solution is to re-frame the situation in your head as not being social pressure, but being friendly and adding value. Then systematically applying techniques once you've established rapport with the guys. This is where a simple question like " How do you guys all know each other?" or " How did you all meet?" can go a pretty long way to establishing who's available and who's not. Then it's crucial that you learn to avoid competitive frames. It's not important who she likes more, it's only important to find out if she likes you. Try to ignore the fact that the other guy is even there, if they aren't dating. A lot of people think you have to try to attract mixed groups first, but as AFC Adam talks about the truth is you have to establish comfort first. Meaning that they want to have a conversation with you before anything else. You can retroactively cause attraction once the comfort is there.
Approach Anxiety is another sort of lock up. You see the girl, you clearly feel a want to approach her, and yet your legs stay rooted in place. You've memorized your openers and have a great idea on what to say to tease her, but you still don't approach. For whatever reason the social pressure of having to approach a stranger shuts down your control over your own body. There are a ton of ways to deal with approach anxiety from getting into state, to dealing with inner game issues, to alcohol. But the point is that AA is one of the most common types of lock up due to social pressure. I know it's related to social pressure because it is scarier to approach larger/mixed sets than it is to approach all girl two sets. I've never had a student who has asked if he can just stick to mixed 8 sets :) The more people, the more social pressure , the bigger chance of lock up... Like, I don't know stage fright.
Some people also lock up in situations of intense negative social repurcussions such as an exercise Moxie came up with where you say the most offensive thing possible and then try to recover from it. Now we can rationalize that instead of doing this social pressure experiment, you could just approach the women you are attracted to every time and play every set as hard as you could, which would lead to better results. But you still lack the social freedom to do whatever you want to amuse yourself.
Desensitization to social pressure is the most common route which allows you to build up to things that are more intense than approaching those sets so that your body starts to function normally in those situations. Because there is a physical as well as a mental component at play here. The physical component can feel like melting ice in your chest, butterflies in your stomach, a heaviness in your limbs, inability to speak or control your vocal cadence etc... But it stems from something called your anterior cruciate cortex. A part of your brain that reacts to social pressure with something very close to physical pain. It's not all in your head. That's the good news. The other good news is that by systematically exposing yourself to more and more social pressure, you feel it less and less. Like a Muy Thai kickboxer who whips his shins with bamboo to deaden the nerves, you can burn out your social pressure sensors preventing lockup and increasing your game exponentially.
S