Thursday, July 03, 2008

FUR: Handjob Interuptus...

I often complain. Longtime readers of my blog can no doubt remember tons of experiences where I complained about airlines, lack of sleep, etc... But the biggest thing I complain about to my friends is Las Vegas. See I have a love/hate relationship with Vegas. I love it because it allows me to indulge in all of my worst vices. But I hate it because I always end up feeling like a cigarette butt about two days in. So naturally when Moxie was leaving and he suggested going to Vegas for his blow out going away celebration I was in.

Fast forward through 5 days of debauchery and not coming home til the sun was out and we arrive at last Saturday night. We decided that since we were staying at the MGM we should take advantage of logistics and go to Studio 54. This was a mistake. I have NEVER seen so many ugly people in the same place ever. Seriously it was like a retarded leper colony reunion. It was the entire collection of " My father should have pulled out" trading cards. I'm still getting shivers thinking about it. And we got to pay a $20 cover because it was 12:01 and our passes were only good til 12...

So we do what all men in Vegas do when confronted with a time crunch and lack of options. We went to the Hard Rock Circle bar. I'm pretty pissed off at this point so I'm looking to open as quickly as possible. I open a 2 set with a short ugly girl and a hot blonde in a corset. I point out that she's short. They say they're going to meet they're friends and I should come. I meet another 5 girls and Moxie rolls over. Now we're just vibing until I isolate the corset girl and run strawberry fields on her. Then I pull her hair and she asks me what my sign is.

Me: Guess.
Her: Scorpio
Me: No way, I can't believe you guessed scorpio.
Her: Are you a scorpio?
Me: No Libra...
Her: I'm a scorpio we match sexually!

I tell her I'm really bad in bed and then pull her into me and pull her hair. This is something I do a lot. Verbally disqualifying myself sexually while sexually escalating to show her that I will fuck her shit up. It's a sexual version of push/pull except you disqualify yourself instead of her.

Moxie is pretty in with another tall hot blonde in the set and the ugs are getting restless. This was annoying because I had spent damn near 10 minutes talking to the ugs and making sure they were cool. I thought I had built a good rapport. My girl tries to number close me for sex the next morning. I smell a flake so I number close and then we walk with them to the outer ring of the casino. They say they're going to Mandalay Bay. We're down. I make out with my girl. But the ugs are plotting something. I can see it. I try to pull our girls back to the hotel and hear what would become the mantra of the night " I want to but I can't leave my friends." I go back in on the ugs and make them laugh for a few minutes then tell them ask for permission to take their friends away. The short ug I opened says in front of my girl " She can do whatever she wants" but she says it in the way that it actually means " I will hat you forever and tell everyone you're a huge slut if you go with these guys." So no go and eventually I realize we can't go with them cause the ugs won't have it and they won't leave with us either. A logistical blow out. Next set.

The next set I open is a blonde walking by. I open her by poking her in the stomach and then clawing her in. She's super attracted super fast and I'm thinking logistics. I want to make a point here. Whenever you open a single you can get her attracted enough that she will handle the obstacles for you. But you have to ask who they are. I ask her who she's here with. She lives in Vegas but is staying at the Hard Rock with some guy friends, who are hitting on some girls. Cool seems easy right? Wrong! She won't let me go to her room, she won't leave to come to mine, the bathroom has an attendent. Finally I remember a girl I banged out by the pool here one night. We walk past the guy cleaning the floor out the door that should be locked and we lay down on some lounge chairs. She straddles me, I pull her boobs out and whip out the cack. She's jerking me off when security walks by.

Security: Hey guys you can't be out here. Sorry to break it up seems like you were almost there. Most people hide in those cabanas.

I look at the girl she says " we're not going to the cabanas."

Fine as we're walking back to her friends I pull her in the leveator shove her against the wall and make out more. I hit the top floor 11. We get there and then she says we have to go back to her friends. I ask her where her room is. She says on the 4th floor. I hit the 4th floor button. She won't get out of the elevator and eventually I take her back to her friends. Where I get a lecture about how her guy friend wants me to fuck her so he can live vicariously through me. This is not good for ASD. We hang out a bit more but eventually she leaves with the dude, and I can't snag the invite up.

Next Set:

Now it's like 4 AM, I've gotten half a handjob and had two girls who want to fuck me but the gods of logisitics had me cursed. But I would overcome. I open a three set with a HUGE latin chick, a hot latin chick and a hot big tittied short blonde. Any guess as to who the target was?

It was not on at all at first. In fact I did multiple jealousy plots by grabbing girls as they walked by and opening them in front of the blonde. I also met some Hungarian porn stars who told me they were not there to fuck but they did hug me in front of the blonde so that's some social proof...

I keep disqualifying the girl, she's too nice, she's an only child, she's too blonde, she's kinda sexy and I would ruin her for all other men. Finally it starts to hook and we make-out. But not before we have the world's longest almost kiss. Seriously it was like 5 minutes of being lip to lip while we both said we weren't going to kiss. She finally lost. It's 5:30 AM So I go for the pull I get her out to the cab stand with the cab door open before she says " I can't leave my friends". I felt like Jules Winfield in that classic Pulp Fiction scene. I wanted to say

" I don't wanna hear about no goddamn friends. All I wanna hear from yo ass is go back in there chill them obstacles out and wait for me to leave with you which should be happening direct."

Ah butchering Tarantino...

Alas I go do some group stuff. The non fattie hates me. Moxie comes in and somehow fixes this. I really have no idea how but I suspect ninja magic.

The HUGE obstacle is talking to the scariest cholo of all time. I take this as an opportunity to try to pull my girl out to the cab again. I swear this guy must have been wondering why I kept bringing girls out to go back in. I pulled 3 different girls to the cab stand...
The guy the whale is talking to looked like he should be a hispanic rapper called MR Gangsta. He's actually cool as hell. And he wants to take the whale to breakfast. I say cool. We'll go eat room service at the MGM in RM # Whatever... I tell her the room number for safety. Fattie says yes cause let's face it she wants food. But the other latina obstacle and my girl are now worried about the whale. Internally I laugh and say there's nothing to worry about because she could always sit on him. Plus she's got enough blubber that if he shoots her it won't hit anything important. I don't say this. Sinn 5 years ago would so this is progress I suppose... The girls ditch us and the cholo and decide to go back to their hotel to eat. My girl tells me she's just not that kinda girl.

Argh , so I figured I'd post this because everyone can enjoy it. I enjoyed writing it cause it's a cathartic process and I'm finally over it now( I think). People who want to learn game can find a few decent nuggets in here, and the haters can laugh at how I didn't get laid despite three makeouts. Everyone wins!

S

12 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:58 PM

    loved reading every bit of this story! =)

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  2. HAHHAHA, fucken great. You sure the cholo was not Mr. Doctor?

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  3. Anonymous7:04 PM

    Hey Sinn,

    great story. Don't worry about the haters, I think everyone who has been in the field knows that there always will be unsurmountable obstacles, even for the best! Keep it coming!

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  4. Anonymous8:32 PM

    "Ugs" hah hah...what an awesome word

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  5. Anonymous10:28 PM

    Whats the claw?

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  6. Rough fuckin night man!!

    My favorite line was "It was the entire collection of 'my father should have pulled out' trading cards"

    I just had a night like this last weekend where I pulled off some ninja moves that I didn't even think were possible (hottest girl had like 4 dudes on her, I get her isolated down to beach and hooking up etc) only to lose it to logistics....no sexy time

    Oh well, these are the ones that make you learn the most! ;)

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  7. Anonymous10:17 AM

    Dude, there's no way this can be true. PUA gurus pull hot chicks every time. Let me emphasize "hot".

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  8. Can you guess who my target would have been?

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  9. fader i bet huge girl is your target ..... since u would be a good wing.lol.
    Sinn awesome stuff thanks for sharing this.
    Im going to vegas in 2 weeks.

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  10. Anonymous5:16 PM

    "Internally I laugh and say there's nothing to worry about because she could always sit on him. Plus she's got enough blubber that if he shoots her it won't hit anything important. I don't say this. Sinn 5 years ago would so this is progress I suppose... "

    I would still say this just to see the look on their faces! Gold

    Dazzle

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  11. Anonymous7:48 PM

    i'm going to vegas in two weeks, i would love for you to try those tricks on me

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  12. Anonymous11:31 AM

    great article. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did any one hear that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.

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